Why Your Writing Should Smell
Writing Tip of the Week
Every paragraph in a work is important, but the introductory paragraph or two in a novel or story has the added burden of grabbing the reader’s attention and then escorting that attention into the following paragraphs. One often overlooked method of grasping that attention is to employ the five senses in the narrative. For example, in my political thriller Sparky and the King I could have written a fair-to-middlin’ and straight-forward narrative to open a chapter. It could have gone like the following.
(Warning to the weak of heart – offensive language follows.)
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The assassin looked over the men gathered at the end of the dirt road leading to the edge of a muddy, slow-moving bayou. They looked more like a pack of dogs on the hunt than human beings. Their prey was a young black man tied to a tree at the water’s edge. One of the men, Rat by name, struck the unfortunate prisoner with a length of metal cord – drawing blood and howls of glee from the assembled rednecks. The victim was too far gone, too bloody and too abandoned to register pain. “Let me at the nigger,” said Baker’s escort. Baker thought, “Blasted amateurs. Never kill and smile.”
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That pretty well sets the scene for the unpleasantness that follows in that chapter. I chose to write that intro in a style that is more than just a narrative – one that employs the senses. The real introduction to Chapter Four follows.
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“Nigger!”
Cullen Michael Baker watched the spectacle, winced once and inhaled a deep breath of fetid night air and stagnant water. Tiny beads of dirty sweat covered the exposed skin of his face, neck and arms.
His filthy companions used the racial slur with a strange mix of hatred and joy dozens of times during the past hour. The snap of a quarter-inch metal cord against the young Negro’s back wasn’t disturbing. And neither was the pleasure in the voce of the man doling out the punishment. Backer fought back a sneer. Blasted amateurs. Never Kill and smile.
The Southerners around him were slow and sloppy and they didn’t care about the quality of their work. Their angry and sometimes hysterical shouts revealed frustrations and failures and a need to affix blame, to destroy and maybe stand an inch or two higher in the pile of excrement that passed for their lives. Apparently, torturing this young black man would set the world right.
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That’s a disturbing sequence, as it should be. It’s made that much more disturbing and effective by the use of the senses: the smell of the bayou, the snap of the metal whip, the dripping of sweat, the shouts of hatred, and so on. Note also, the author’s use of the reader’s emotions to involve him further into the piece. If you’re not sure about that, think back to your blood pressure when you read the first use of what the politically correct call “the N word.”
If you compare writing to a .357 revolver, the writer has six literary bullets in the chamber: sight, sound, taste, feel, smell and emotion.
The bottom line: When writing a scene, make sure it smells.
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Recommended Reading: https://hestanbrough.com. An excellent blog on writing and the writing life.
Quote of the Week: “Someday I hope to write a book where the royalties will pay for the copies I give away.” Clarence Darrow
Shameless Self Promotion:
I have reduced the price of the award-winning Sparky and the Beard for the holiday season. Available in ebook and paperback wherever you buy your books.
A Sack of Fried Okra – A Sorta Saga (winner in the 2020 New Mexico Arizona Book Awards competition) is available in paperback and e-book. It’s a bit of On the Road meets Fried Green Tomatoes with a touch of O Brother, Where Art Thou?
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“Y Gwir yn erbyn y byd”
A Four Knights Press Production
? Dan Baldwin 2020
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