Why your priority should be encouraging disagreement within your team, and 8 steps to help you do this.

The dream is a charity where you all get along, where everyone is on board with the strategy, to make the difference you want to for the community you serve and where you’re one big happy family. Everyone says the charity is a great place to work, they’re motivated, pulling in the same direction and they work brilliantly together. But all too often charities can have the air of harmony to those on the outside but scratch the surface and there is an underlying tension; of things not being said, of teams not getting on, of disagreements over the strategy and departments pulling in different directions.?

This manifests as little disagreement or discussion in meetings, decision making getting delayed (& made outside of meetings), actions carrying over month to month, projects stalling, conversations happening without all the necessary people, cliques forming, and strategic plans stagnating.?

So, whilst everyone wants a happy and harmonious organisation, I’d argue that a workplace where there’s no discussion, disagreement, or debate is not healthy. In fact, I’d go as far as say it’s toxic. Teams or organisations where there is a facade of harmony are dangerous to the individual and to the organisation.?

The Individual?

This type of working environment can make an individual feel stifled, unable to share their opinions or views. Where someone has a different opinion to the majority view, they can feel isolated, unheard and in extreme cases scapegoated. ?

This in turn can lead to the individual staying silent on broader topics, concerned of the consequences of raising their voice, resulting in frustration, disengagement and burnout. ?

The Organisation?

The lack of discussion can result in the organisation becoming?stuck and stagnant, and unable to meet its strategic aims, as decisions don’t get made. Teams and departments are likely to be working at odds as honest conversations about priorities are not happening or are not being heard,?with little understanding of how their department priorities complement each other to meet the strategic goals of the organisation. The ultimate consequence of this is that the needs of those the charity serves will not be met, employees will become frustrated & disengage, all for the sake of agreement and the avoidance of discomfort.?

Why does this happen??

Before you can tackle this,?you need to understand where the avoidance of conflict comes from.

• People don’t want to upset each other, we’re a nice bunch in charities, but fundamentally individuals fear that they can’t repair the relationship if they disagree?
• Fear the discomfort of a difficult conversation?
• Leaders (and employees) don’t listen?
• Individuals don’t want, or don’t feel able to be vulnerable?
• Mistakes are not seen as an opportunity to learn?
• Disagreement isn’t seen as an opportunity to find new perspectives or solutions?
• Teams don’t respect each other?
• There are reprisals if you disagree?

Ultimately all of these boil down to a lack of trust between individuals and with the leader(s). If teams don’t trust each other (or their leaders), they can’t open up or be vulnerable, and they may not feel able to share their opinions or experiences if they differ from the predominant view. This means that teams cannot understand each other, concerns or questions cannot be worked through, and consensus can’t be reached, resulting in a stagnant organisation. ?

In a healthy organisation teams should be able to discuss differing opinions respectfully, acknowledge the difference of opinion, and come to agreement – often the problem isn’t that someone doesn’t want to follow a certain course of action, it’s that their perspective hasn’t been heard, so they don’t feel included. Even if someone disagrees with a course of action, they’ll usually get on board if they have been heard.?

8 steps to help your team disagree respectfully?

To enable your team to have open and honest discussions, you need to cultivate trust. Here’s how:?

1. Demonstrate vulnerability yourself (this must be genuine). This isn’t about sharing your deepest, darkest fears or experiences – this means admitting your mistakes, when you don’t know something, or when you could improve something. By doing this, you're modelling to your team that its ok to not know, to make mistakes, to improve, and that it’s safe to talk about it without fear of judgement.?

1. Encourage the team to value vulnerability in each other. Any negativity/reprisals from colleagues need to be addressed; any cliques or scapegoating need to be addressed proactively.?

1. Support your team to build relationships with each other. This doesn’t mean they have to like each other or friends, but they need to develop a respectful working relationship. ?

1. Support your team to listen to each other to hear each other's perspectives, not listen to respond.?

1. Demonstrate that respectful discussion & debate is healthy and productive. This means supporting and encouraging the team to discuss all topics; in other words, ask the team if there are different views and opening the debate up.?

1. Acknowledge that disagreement can feel uncomfortable, and it’s natural that they may want to avoid it.?

1. Don’t immediately jump into to resolve conflict, allow the team to do this, whilst reminding them to be respectful.?

1. Model healthy conflict resolution where appropriate.?

For a charity to meet its strategic aims, and to make a difference to the communities it serves, it needs to be able to have open and honest conversations. This includes the difficult conversations, and it’s essential that teams at all levels can work through these conversations and not shy away from them. ?

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