Why your New Year’s Resolutions have failed – and how to make them work

January 1st came round, you decided to change your life, either a lot or a little. Then February came around and you let your new year’s resolutions go.

Sound familiar? It’s not great to get a few weeks into the year and have a ‘failure’ under your belt, but there is another way.

Here are a few tips to consider, to stand a good chance of making the change you need.

Timing

A resolution, or a change, can be made at any time – they’re not just for January. And timing is key. If it’s not the right time to make a change, then it will be harder to do it.

Planning a change will help you to achieve it, especially if there are going to be predictable things in the way that could scupper you.

For example, you’ve decided to lose weight but all the family birthdays are in January – rather than navigate them, it might be better to wait until after they have passed.

What you don’t want to do – turn it into a positive

Many changes come about from the things we don’t want to do. We want to go in the opposite direction, but we need to think positively to get there.

For example:

• ‘I don’t want to be fat anymore’ – change it to ‘I want to lose weight and fit into a new dress for the party.’
• ‘I don’t want to do this commute anymore’ – change it to ‘I want to work closer to home’.
• ‘I don’t want to pay for the gym and not use it’ – change it to ‘I want to make the most out of my gym membership’

Always go into it with a positive attitude and thought process – negativity is counter-productive! As the old saying goes: “If you think you’re going to have a bad day, you probably will.”

Imagine the outcome

You might not know it, but inside us all are these subconscious thoughts, feelings and memories, that influence everything we do. Our judgements, thoughts, feelings about a situation, decisions and fears, to name a few.

We can use these to help us to make change, through imitation.

Think of something you really don’t like to do. Now think of something you love doing.

The first, unappealing thing, will most likely have given you very dark, shadowy tones, whilst the thing you love, in comparison, should have given you brighter, clearer colours, to animate and lift you.

If you want to lose weight, bring your mind to that something you love, and transfer those lovely feelings to how you will feel when you have lost your weight. Imagine how you will feel, how you will look, the compliments you will get, the reduction in anxiety when you go to the wedding etc. Think about all the good stuff that will happen once you have lost the weight – feel those bright colours now so that you know what it will feel like once you’ve done it.

Lastly, remember to keep your changes realistic – you can’t run a marathon a week after you decide to do it, so apply that thought to whatever it is you want to change.

Be realistic, look at the timing, break it down into little steps and go slow to stand a really good chance of succeeding.

If you’re not sure where to start, start with getting in touch – I’ll help you to work out a plan to get you to your goal, big or small.