Why Your New Years Resolution is Failing – And How to Actually Achieve It

If you’re feeling that February slump, you’re not alone—over 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail by now (source: U.S. News & World Report). But here’s the thing:

The people who achieve big goals don’t rely on motivation.

They rely on a system.

And that system is built on four forces:

? Mindset – How you interpret obstacles and believe in growth.

? Discipline – Your ability to take action regardless of how you feel.

? Stress Management – Your ability to regulate activation and stay in peak performance.

? Flexibility – Your ability to adapt and adjust without losing progress.

Get these four forces working together, and you win—no matter how bold your goal is.

How I Learned to Apply These Four Forces

Fighter Pilot Reality Check: Motivation vs. Discipline

When I set out to become a fighter pilot, my motivation was through the roof—but there was just one problem: I lacked a fundamental qualification. A basic requirement that, on paper, should have disqualified me. At that point, I had two choices: accept the odds and walk away, or find another way in.

Being flexible and aware that I had to be creative drove me to be disciplined—ruthlessly disciplined—in my execution. I found every workaround possible, trained harder than anyone else, and focused on small wins to keep pushing forward. Here’s the truth: The odds didn’t change—I did.

The Lesson: Big goals don’t happen because you “believe” in them. They happen because you stay disciplined enough to give yourself a chance.

Sailing the Caribbean for Five Years: Stress Is Inevitable—How You Manage It Matters

Living on a sailboat for five years in the Caribbean, stress wasn’t optional. When heavy weather kicks up from an "ill-timed" squall in the middle of the night, with the rig creaking and waves crashing over the coachroof, you don’t have time to panic. Stress is there—but it doesn’t control you.

As a military pilot, you’re trained from day one: "Maintain aircraft control, analyze the situation, take appropriate action, and land as soon as conditions permit."

That same high-to-low focus applies in the cockpit, on a sailboat, and in life. First, you take control. Then, you assess the situation. Then, you execute. That process pushes fear out of the equation—because when you act with clarity and confidence, stress becomes fuel, not failure.

The Lesson: Stress is only a problem if you let it paralyze you. Control what you can, zoom out, and execute.

Flexibility: Nothing Ever Goes to Plan—And That’s a Good Thing

There’s a saying that applies to sailing, flying, and life:

"A plan is the point of departure."

I have never had a major life plan that went as expected. And thank God for that. Because if everything went according to my original plans, I wouldn’t be where I am today. The failures, the pivots, the course corrections—they weren’t obstacles, they were the way forward.

When we lived on SV Dragonfly, we would invite friends to visit us in the Caribbean, but we always gave them a warning: "You can choose when or where—but not both!" That’s life. That’s business. That’s every ambitious goal you will ever chase. If I had been rigid, if I had refused to adapt, I would have lost out on every major breakthrough I’ve had.

The Lesson: Flexibility isn’t a weakness—it’s the only way to make bold visions a reality.

Luck? It’s Just a Byproduct of the Work

People love to talk about luck—who gets it, who doesn’t? Here’s what I’ve learned:

You don’t “build your own luck.” You build the roads that take you to where luck happens. A ton of work, discipline, big visions, blood, sweat, and tears go into paving those roads. If you do it just right, you've provided the path for luck to find you.

Lance Armstrong (not here to debate his choices) once had the perfect response when people questioned how he won: "Everybody wants to know what I'm on. What am I on? I'm on my bike, busting my ass six hours a day. What are you on?"

That’s the truth that the fixed mindset doesn't want to hear. Winners aren’t lucky. They show up. Every day. Without excuses. Feeling Like You’re Failing Right Now? Good. That Means You’re Still in the Game. It’s February. Your resolution might already feel shaky. You aren’t alone. But before you give up, ask yourself:

? Did you have a real plan?

? Did you rely on motivation instead of discipline?

? Did you stress out instead of taking control?

? Did you stick to a rigid plan instead of adapting?

Now that you know why you’re struggling, you can fix it. Motivation will fail you. Discipline won’t. So go back to your goal. Write it down. Make it executable. Get back to work.

Future you will thank you.