Why Your Employees Say No to Your Requests

As leaders, we often overlook the fact that we are, in many ways, in the business of sales.

Every day, we’re asking others to follow our vision, execute our plans, and commit to actions that will move the organization forward.

But just like in sales, we don’t always get a “yes.” Understanding why people say no isn’t just useful in sales—it’s essential for effective leadership.

During my time in sales, I developed a model called GREAT, which identifies common resistors to getting a yes.

The model focuses on five areas: Goodwill, Reactance, Experience/Expertise, Apathy, and Trust. When applied to leadership, this framework can help leaders anticipate resistance and develop strategies to address it.

"How GREAT is my resistance?"

To make these strategies more effective, I integrate principles from Robert Cialdini’s model of influence.

Cialdini’s six principles—reciprocity, social proof, authority, liking, scarcity, and consistency—are rooted in decades of research on how people are persuaded.

Having had the opportunity to attend one of his certification programs, I’ve seen firsthand how these principles can be applied to leadership contexts to overcome resistance ethically and effectively.

Let’s explore how each resistor works and how we can overcome it using these principles.

1. Goodwill: “Is this in my best interest?”

Resistance from a lack of goodwill occurs when employees perceive that a request is more about benefiting the leader than benefiting them or the team. If people believe that you haven’t considered how your request affects them, they’re less likely to say yes.

Example: You ask your team to take on extra work to meet a tight deadline. If they believe you’re only asking to make yourself look good to upper management, they may resist.

How to Overcome It:

• Reciprocity: Show how you’ve supported them in the past and how their efforts will be recognized.
• Liking: Build genuine relationships by understanding their needs and challenges.
• Social Proof: Highlight examples of other teams that have benefited from similar efforts.

2. Reactance: “I don’t like being told what to do.”

Reactance happens when people feel their autonomy is being threatened. The more they feel pressured, the more they resist—even if they agree with the goal.

Example: You give a team member a detailed plan and expect them to follow it step by step. They push back, not because the plan is flawed, but because they feel micromanaged.

How to Overcome It:

• Reciprocity: Offer flexibility in how they approach the task.
• Liking: Collaborate on the plan rather than dictating it.
• Scarcity: Frame the opportunity as something valuable that could be missed if delayed.

3. Experience/Expertise: “Do you know what you’re talking about?”

When employees doubt your knowledge or experience, they may resist because they lack confidence in your ability to lead them toward a successful outcome. This is especially common with new leaders or leaders managing experienced teams.

Example: A newly promoted manager asks a team of seasoned professionals to change their workflow. The team resists, questioning whether the manager understands the complexity of the tasks.

How to Overcome It:

• Authority: Share relevant past successes or credentials.
• Reciprocity: Provide resources or training that demonstrate you’ve done your homework.
• Social Proof: Point to others who trust your judgment and have seen positive results.

4. Apathy: “Why should I care?”

Apathy occurs when employees see no compelling reason to change. They’re comfortable with the status quo and don’t perceive enough benefit to make the effort.

Example: You propose implementing a new software system, but the team is resistant because the current system, while outdated, “gets the job done.”

How to Overcome It:

• Scarcity: Highlight the risks of staying with the current system and the benefits of upgrading.
• Social Proof: Share success stories from teams who have adopted the new system.
• Reciprocity: Offer support and training to ease the transition.

5. Trust: “Can I believe you?”

Lack of trust is a significant resistor. Employees may doubt that you or the organization can deliver on promises, either because of past experiences or because they don’t see enough evidence to support your claims.

Example: You promise that a new initiative will lead to more opportunities for advancement. Employees, recalling previous unmet promises, are skeptical.

How to Overcome It:

• Social Proof: Share testimonials or case studies that demonstrate successful outcomes.
• Liking: Build trust through regular, transparent communication.
• Consistency: Follow through on smaller commitments to establish credibility.

Applying the GREAT Model

While you don’t need to analyze every request through the GREAT model, it’s worth the effort when you’re asking for something that requires full commitment.

Start by identifying which resistor is most likely to arise. Then, use targeted strategies to address the concern.

Example in Practice: You need your team to adopt a new safety protocol. After considering the GREAT model, you realize the main resistor is likely apathy—they don’t see the urgency to change.

To address this, you share data showing how the new protocol has reduced accidents in other departments (social proof) and explain the potential risks of not adopting it (scarcity).

Final Thoughts

Leadership isn’t about issuing commands and expecting blind compliance.

It’s about understanding why people might say no and thoughtfully addressing their concerns.

By applying the GREAT model and leveraging principles of influence, you can increase the likelihood of getting a yes—and more importantly, gain genuine commitment.

Take the time to diagnose resistance before making critical requests. It’s an investment that pays off in stronger follow-through and better outcomes.