Why You Want More, and What to Do About It

Every single one of my clients, wants more.

But at the same time, there's also usually a bit of guilt associated with wanting more.

So they are torn. Do they try to achieve more? Or do they try and figure out how to be happy with where and who they are in life?

When you take a step out of the emotions you also realize that this idea of wanting more, is kind of ironic. Since wanting more can cause you to miss out on what you actually have. 

You're happy but don't realize you're happy, because you're trying to be happy.

But wanting more, which tends to be seen as something that's wrong with you, isn't actually a bad thing if you aren't filling a hole or coming from a place of lack.

For example, what if you're happy, realize you're happy, but would like to experience some other things.

This is the differentiator between someone that just starts working with me and someone that completes a coaching program.

In the beginning they see more as something they don't have or something they shouldn't want.

A piece of them that is missing or a feeling that they don't have.

Of course in this mindset more is going to cause stress. 

You have a hole in you! That's scary!

But at the end of a program through creating clarity, a solid professional and personal brand, confidence, in oneself and ones skills, and control in their work and life, boundaries, positive relationships, prioritization...

More becomes, "in addition to..." an already complete version of yourself.

WOW.

Take that in because it's important.

Does your desire for more come from a place of lack, or a place of completeness?

If you want more to fill a hole, then you need to understand what that hole really is before going after more.

If you want more because you're already full but still hungry, then accept, embrace it, and view your desire as something positive.

When I was younger and pursuing a career as a professional athlete, more, was coming from a place that I wasn't good enough. 

That "lack of" led me to question myself constantly and created a world of frustration, negativity, and it was a very dark place to live each and every day.

Now that I understand who I am and show up each day as that brand and aligned with my values, more, is fun. 

It's the quest of knowledge, experiences, challenge, novelty, and life!

When we question our feelings, prior to accepting or judging them, then we are able to figure out actions that can serve us.

Do you need to work on filling a hole or do you need to work on creating challenge and novelty in your life? Those are very different strategies toward wanting and creating more and both have their benefits.

But both strategies create a sense of clarity around what you thought was missing, and provide the opportunity for you to accept WHY you want more, so you can start valuing the present for what it is, instead of what it's missing.

Now that's truly living for yourself.

Thanks for listening everyone,

Dr. Benjamin Ritter, Leadership and Career Coach, Live for Yourself Consulting

Interested in Coaching programs to start creating more in your life? Schedule a time here to see if you're a fit.