Why Not You?
Uchenna "Dr. Lulu?” Umeh NGLCC Certified
Helping healthcare professionals increase their revenue by creating affirming, patient-centered practices for Black LGBTQIA patients. | Bestselling Author | TEDx Speaker | Gender & Sexuality Educator | Mom of a Trans YA
I. HATED. GOD!
I. HATED. MYSELF.
I. HATED. THE. WORLD…
On Christmas Day 2 years ago, my phone rang.
It was my eldest child.
She called to tell me something.
It was urgent.
It was important.
It couldn’t wait.
I could tell.
I could tell.
It wasn’t “Merry Christmas, Mom.”
“Mom, I’m Trans”, are words NO parent ever wants to hear, EVER!
For 3 looooong weeks after that day, I simply laid on my couch and cried.
“You've gat to be kiddin’ Lord! REALLY??”
This??
Haven’t I been good?
Haven’t I done everything you asked of me?
“Why me?”
“No, seriously, why me??”
The funny thing is, I remember when I was first pregnant…
How much I had prayed for a little girl.
To dress up pretty.
To do her hair.
To go shopping with, and do all the girly things.
Alas, the tarot card reader on the boat cruise in NOLA said it then.
“You picked a prince.
He is fair of face.
Filled with a girl’s grace.
You'll have a son.
And he'll have a lot of girl in him.”
And even before the child turned 2, I could see the signs.
“Nooooooo!!!!”
“Not my son!!”
“Not this one!”
“Take another one!”
“Anybody else’s, just not mine!” I pleaded.
My heart was broken, my soul was crushed, my spirit shattered and my mind was blown into shreds!
I knew the world would hate the child.
I knew the world would blame its mother.
I knew the child would be condemned.
I didn’t want any part of that!
"STOP ACTING LIKE A GIRL!"
was my mantra!!
"YOU ARE NOT…A GIRL!!"
"You’re a boy!"
领英推荐
Guilt,
Shame,
Confusion,
Anger,
Dread,
Overwhelm,
You name it, I felt it.
And sure enough…
My husband blamed me.
My mother judged me.
My aunt dared me.
The world, watching me.
Finally. One. Day. I heard it.
Loud and clear.
God’s voice:
Why not you, my child?
Why not you?
You, a physician.
A Nigerian.
You, a wordsmith.
An orator.
You, a MamaBeast.
A rebel.
An agitator.
A Warrior Woman.
How DARE you question me?!
How dare you!!
Haven’t I always given you everything you needed, even before you asked?
Haven’t I?
When have I ever misled you?
The air you breathe,
The food you eat.
The ground you walk on.
The strength you’ve needed…
Who gave them to you?
Now you question me?
Haven’t I always made a way?
Haven’t I always sent you helpers?
Your patients love you.
Their parents adore you.
When you speak, the world listens.
When you cry the world cries with you.
So dry your tears, prepare for battle, and go forth, my child.
And don’t ever ask me again…
Why. Not. You?
~ Dr. Lulu
Writer & journalist | Nonbinary trans | Queer | Autistic | ADHD | Disabled | Writes because it's magic ?
3 个月Thank you. Thank you for sharing this journey, for putting in personal effort and faith. We trans children with cisgender parents need people like you.
Adjunct Professor at TCSPP, Mt SAC, and Pepperdine
3 个月????
Professional with over 20 years of experience in Electrical Distribution from the warehouse to the boardroom with a heart for Advocacy and Inclusion of all.
3 个月Thank you for this. I too had some long loud chats with the man upstairs when our son brought news to us. Like you though, I’m now doing everything I can to embrace, why not me.
SaaS and B2B Content Marketing Consultant for Startups and Payroll, HCM and Fintech |Content Marketing Certification | Founder, Trans-Parent Coaching
3 个月Wow. Riveting. I’ve asked the same question. Why me? Now I have the answer. Thanks Dr. Lulu !