Why are you Stuck as an Introvert?

In last week’s edition, I discussed some of the reasons engineering managers can find themselves stuck in their career.? This week, I am going to expand on the topic and explore how being an introvert can also keep engineering managers stuck.

It is no secret that we often see extroverts getting promoted over introverts. ?

This isn’t because extroverts make better leaders - because they don’t.? Introverts are just as capable of crafting vision and strategy, inspiring their team, and making bold decisions. ?

Rather, introverts are inadvertently holding themselves back.

Introverts Explained

It might surprise you to learn that introverts make up roughly half of the population (we hide pretty well).

While one of the main stereotypes about introverts is that they are shy and don’t want to talk to anyone, that is actually not true.? Get an introvert one-on-one and they will happily and enthusiastically to talk to you for hours - especially on some nerdy topic they are interested in. ?

What makes the difference is how they spend their energy.

In her book “Quiet”, Susan Cain explains that the main difference between introverts and extroverts is not about how shy someone is.? Rather, it is how introverts and extroverts differ in how they charge or drain their social battery.

An extrovert might start their day with a mostly empty social battery.? Throughout the day they will interact with their family, friends, coworkers and this is their source of energy.? Every interaction fills them up, makes them happy, and energizes them for the next encounter. It is no surprise that social events are held after work - this is when extroverts are fully charged!

Introverts, by contrast, will start their day with a mostly full social battery.? Yet, as they go through the day and interact with their family, friends, and coworkers, they are slowly drained of energy.? Each interaction, no matter how much they enjoy the other person, a bit more of their energy is expended, tiring them out for the next encounter.? Without time away, ideally in a quiet place, to rest, they will exhaust themselves with the constant interaction.

Not understanding this about themselves is the first challenge introverts have in advancing their career.

Leadership is about People

Before being promoted, your work was evaluated based on your individual contribution.? This can play? to an introvert’s strengths as they can quietly work away doing amazing things. ?

But stepping into a management role, suddenly success is no longer gauged on your individual work, but on how well your team performs. Much more of your time now needs to be spent engaging with people, having conversations throughout the day, and going from meeting to meeting. ?

These are exactly the kinds of situations that drain an introvert’s social battery - and is where the challenges arise.

Diminishing Performance

Introverts who don’t recognize they need to take time to recharge their social battery will inevitably exhaust themselves. ?

They will start the day with a lot of energy but quickly lose momentum as the day progresses.? Inadvertently, they will participate less and less in meetings simply as a means to conserve their social battery. ?

And if their battery becomes drained, they can become irritable, dismissive, and less co-operative.? It is a bit like how you might feel if you haven’t eaten anything for hours. ?

Their extroverted colleagues, who are energized by all this interaction, will inevitably participate more actively and consistently.? And, as a result, stand out more to their bosses who are assessing their employees for possible promotion.

This behaviour can become ingrained in how an introvert shows up at work. ?

Namely, they will deliberately limit their interactions, participate less, and even shy away from taking risks - simply to limit the drain on their social battery.? They may not even realize they are doing it. ?

The end result is that the introverted manager will be perceived as competent at their job but not ready for promotion (regardless of their accomplishments and job performance). ?

Work Smarter not Harder

The solution is NOT to be more like an extrovert. ?

Introverts will never be able to keep pace with extroverts’ ability to endlessly socialize and engage with people (especially in louder and boisterous environments).? You are drained by the very thing that energizes extroverts.? The math does not work in your favour. ?

Instead, the trick is to intentionally manage your energy. ?

One-on-one Meetings

Meeting with people individually, allows you to go deep on the topic and find the heart of the issue being faced.? It is also less draining than meeting with a group of people and having to manage multiple, overlapping interactions at once. ?

This worked very well for me because I was able to manage the individual relationships, sort out issues in a non-confrontational manner, and get agreement before bringing everyone together for formal discussions. ?

Build Breaks into your Schedule

Avoid booking meetings back to back.? This will only serve to annoy and exhaust you.? Instead, schedule blocks of time both in the morning and the afternoon where you don’t meet with other people.? You are still going to be working - but having a block of quiet time will allow you to recharge before the next interaction.

For the last five years, I’ve scheduled a 30 minute break shortly after lunch every day for recovery time.? This period became an oasis of quiet in an otherwise noisy schedule.? And my boss never knew! ?

Step Away

When the opportunity allows, step away from the computer and the office.? Literally.? Go for a walk outside or find a quiet room to read.? Deliberately separate yourself from the noise and commotion of the work.? This allows your brain time to process all interactions and contemplate what needs to come next. ?

When I had a chance to do this, I would usually take a short walk outside the office and get some fresh air. And if I couldn’t get outside, I might wander through the halls of the office with my laptop.? People just assumed I was on my way to another meeting. ?

The goal is to allow your social battery a chance to recharge.? This will ensure you can continue to engage and participate in meetings at the level that demonstrates your leadership capabilities.

Your boss and other decision makers can then see what you are truly capable of while at the same time honouring the qualities that make you an introvert.

Do you think you are a quiet or introverted leader but are having difficulty figuring out how to show up at work with greater impact?? Then send me a DM and let’s get on a call to talk about it - one introvert to another!? Click here to book some time with me.

In the meantime, here are a few videos I published this week.

Do these 2 things to INCREASE your Influence in a Conversation

Engineering managers are known for being direct and to the point. This is an effective way of communicating with other engineers but can be abrupt (and rude) to other audiences.

In this video, I discuss two small adjustments you can make in how you communicate in order to increase your influence.

Director-level skills you are Missing

Applying for a director level position is not the same as applying for other roles.? While qualifications and experience are important, they are not enough to actually get you the promotion.

In this video, I talk about the three leaderships skills engineering managers miss developing - and which are holding them back.

Discover your Values - the Backwards Way!

Figuring out what direction to take your career (or your life!) usually involves figuring out what you value.? But how do you do that?

In this video, I explain a way to explore your values by considering their opposite.

Ready to start actively engaging your career? Give me a call and let's talk about it!