WHY ARE YOU STILL SINGLE?

All my single ladies, all my single ladies!?

When it comes to dating today or even more importantly, when it comes to finding the man you’re going to marry, did you ever stop to think, why should they marry ME? I know, I know what you’re thinking, “how dare she say that, any many should be so lucky to marry me!” But it’s true. Why should they marry you??

Ladies, based on my own life experiences, my own mistakes when it comes to picking the wrong ones until I found the right one, I have some thoughts. Take them or leave them. Hate me or love me.?

First of all, yes you’re correct, any man SHOULD be so lucky to marry YOU, but only the RIGHT man, girlfriend!?

Let’s start with why you keep picking the same type of guy over and over and over, again. Here’s an example. When I was in my twenties, I wouldn’t date any man that wasn’t Albanian or at least six feet tall, so that just limited my dating pool right there, not to mention that most men that fit that description are cocky, narcissistic a-holes (sorry to the few nice Albanian, tall men out there, but you are a dime a dozen).?

My point is, if your limitations are so rigid, you can miss your chance of finding true love and happiness, and eliminate the chance of finding the man you’re going to marry. Trust me.

Next, what does your closet or home look like? Chances are, if it’s a hot mess, so are you, and no man wants to marry that. I’m sorry. Get your shit together, girl!?

Are you obsessed with status, money or fame? Yes, money can buy shoes but it won’t buy you happiness. It’s short lived and chances are you’ll be sharing your man with at least one other woman. Make your own way. Don’t look for someone else to do it for you. And when you find the right man, you can make it together. You’ll wear those shoes with so much more gratitude.?

Don’t be so desperate for love. Don’t rely on a man to fill the void you have in you. If you need to, see a therapist. Work on yourself. I know it sounds cheesy and you’ve heard it before, but trust me if you can’t learn to love yourself and be alone with yourself first, you can’t find REAL happiness in a relationship either, and you cannot learn to make someone else happy. I promise, I truly believe, that confidence is the sexiest trait in any woman and man, alike. Also, a man can smell desperate from a mile away. Your insecurities will heighten the asshole’s senses like a lion who smells fresh meat, and you will be their prey.?

Also, what are your values girl! Never try to downplay them for any man. What do you value? How do you want to live? Raise your family? When you love someone, it’s easy to ignore these things, but they WILL RISE UP. If you don’t share the SAME values and morals, IT WILL NOT WORK. I REPEAT, IT WILL NOT WORK. It’s like a home with a poor foundation. It will eventually crumble. In this instance, yes, sometimes love just isn’t enough.?

Be a girlfriend first, then a wife. And don’t be his mom. (I was guilty of this, too, when I was younger and dating). If you’re doing his laundry, cleaning his house and cooking dinner, but you’ve only been dating for two weeks, that’s a problem. When you go straight into wife or mom mode, you’re doing two things: 1. Scaring the man away because he’ll be thinking “whooaaa we just met, we’re not married.” 2. You will attract an asshole that will use you to do all of his chores until he’s bored with you or he actually meets “the one” for him and drops you anyway.?

Be a girlfriend first. Let him chase you, wine and dine you and let him pay. You’ll have plenty of time to split the check if this works out and you’ll definitely have all your life to cook and clean.?

So, the next time your friend or relative asks you to meet their boss, just be open to it. Even if they live in another state and you swore you’d never move out of Michigan, even if they're NOT Albanian, and even if they're a spicy Italian from The Bronx and only 5 '8,? just say, “okay”. Be OPEN to it. Because, it was the best decision I ever made.?

May you also find your happily ever after.?

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