Why You Shouldn't Be a "Yes" Man or Woman

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There's something questionable if you agree with absolutely everything your manager/company says or does.

What value do you bring, if any? If they hired you just to go along and agree with everything, are you even contributing? How does your voice and role make a difference?

Be leery of people in your company or organization who flatter upper management just for the sake of appearing to be a team player.

You can agree with someone, superficially, on the outside, but disagree with them internally. People might see your smile and hear your nice words, but they don't see you spewing on the inside.

When you agree quickly and mechanically with pretty much everything, people may be more willing to cross moral/ethical/vocational/personal boundaries with you or even take advantage of you because they know you won't complain. You'll say yes and be on with it. To be clear, I'm not saying to disagree with everything or that you shouldn't be quick to agree, when there's no reason not to. Just don't do it superficially.

As I get older, I have more respect for those co-workers and managers who are willing to give friendly push-back, with good reason. Questioning an action, policy, or decision doesn't mean you're unprofessional or negative. It means you care.

Here are 3 simple tips for disagreeing without being disagreeable:

1) Manage expectations - Understand that you can't agree with someone on absolutely everything, so don't expect it. They like hot sauce, you like mild sauce. Be you. Instead of expecting that your team will do and say things that you agree with 100%, realize that they won't and learn how to manage that.

2) Find common ground - What can you agree on with the person you don't agree with? Find something, anything. Do you both like dogs? Talk about it. You don't want it to appear as if they're an enemy, because they're not. This is work after all, not war. Find something you can connect on; a common point of interest, be it work-related or not. This helps you remain cordial even if you disagree on something.

3) Control your tone of voice - It's not just what you say, it's how you say it. You may disagree with a manager, for example, over the supplier of choice for a particular project. Don't be loud about it. Don't raise your voice or be combative. Speak normal. Breathe. Use a gentle voice. It can change the atmosphere entirely.

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Join me next time as we look at ways to improve your Career + People Intelligence.

The views reflected in this article are the views of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the authors employer, customers, partners, etc.