Why you shouldn't go for that promotion…

I've been in my career for 15 years. I've been promoted a couple of times and was about to go for another promotion before I spectacularly burnt out.

It took me 6 months off work before I was ready to go back and it's been a further year since I've started feeling like myself again.

It's given me a good amount of time to consider my priorities and how I want to make significant changes to the way I'm living my life.

What I've also gained is a huge amount of perspective, not just for myself but for the career traps many of us can fall into.

Before applying for that next promotion, make sure you give this a read…

What's the right reason to go for promotion?

It's probably easier to start with the "wrong" reasons for seeking promotion:

• Trying to fulfil an ongoing need for external validation.
• Never feeling like you have "enough" material things despite living comfortably.
• The false belief that the "next" promotion will make you feel "good enough".
• You're a power hungry lunatic.

Aside from number 4, I hit all of those reasons. I was stuck in a comparison cycle, constantly needing to "prove myself". I wrongly believed that the next stepping stone, the next achievement, the next promotion etc. would somehow heal my wounds of chronic low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy.

But of course it didn't.

Promotions and achievements did nothing but amplify the issue.

Now, I didn't go for promotion for all the wrong reasons. I wanted to make a difference, I wanted to show my colleagues what it was to be supported by a leader that actually cared and put their wellbeing first. I wanted to try and change the culture of my organisation to one that I would be happy to be in.

But these reasons for promotion felt like they were in constant battle with each other. I wanted to do the best job possible, not only to look after my staff but to prove myself. It created a dangerous cycle which led to significant overworking and an inability to switch off.

Understanding your "why" for promotion is critical.

If you're already working a 60hr week and you think the ￡10k pay rise is going to change your life (despite you already being "ok" for money i.e., you can afford to live, eat, go on the occasional holiday etc.) then you're living in cloud cuckoo land.

For most organisations, that extra ￡10k, 20, 30 or even ￡50k, means they want their pound of flesh and you are delusional if you think they don't. ESPECIALLY if you work in the public sector like me.

So, here's the really challenging question. If you're already on reasonable money and can cope with your bills with a bit of money left over, would an extra few hundred pounds a month really be that life changing? And is it worth the trade off for more of your time and more of your stress?

This was the question I asked myself just before I pulled out of my last promotion. Sure, I'd be taking home a few extra grand a year, but after tax, pension, etc. it was barely ￡100 a month. It would mean I'd have a shedload more responsibility, be carrying more risk and an unspoken expectation that I would work extra hours and be "more flexible".

There becomes a point where the extra money is NOT WORTH the loss of time and additional stress.

That point is different for everyone but it is crucial to know where your point is and why it is there.

I've watched countless colleagues chase the promotion hamster wheel, bending over backwards for organisations, working all the hours under the sun, losing marriages, relationships, getting fat and unhealthy, all to earn an extra few bob that in reality really isn't worth it.

How to find your why for promotion…

Do you know what's important to you? Lots of people will say the standard, "my family, my friends, my health, money etc." but without giving it much thought. I sometimes think it actually takes either losing or almost losing one of those things to really identify if it is a critical value for you.

I took my mental health for granted. Despite having on and off battles with depression and anxiety I had never gotten so bad that I couldn't function. But that's what burnout did to me. I went from being super high functioning and a high flyer to someone who couldn't remember what day it was or even how to input the correct address into my sat nav.

I never want to get to that place again. It was dark and scary. Therefore, it is now very easy for me to say my mental and physical health are my top values.

Getting to such a low point also pinpoints who your trusted friends and family are. I now prioritise those relationships above anyone else.

I know that I will not do anything, or put myself in a position where my mental health may end up severely compromised, where I cannot exercise regularly or have my sleep patterns deeply disturbed and where I stop being able to prioritise my family.

The consequence of that knowledge is that I will never go for promotion in my organisation again. I am too well versed in the unwritten expectations and too experienced in the demands to put myself in that position.

Ask yourself, "what am I willing to lose for this promotion?"

Are you willing to work more hours and have less time with your friends and family?

Are you happy to forgo your exercise routine to accommodate travelling or long hours in the office?

Are you happy to increase the level of stress you experience on a daily basis?

There are no right or wrong answers to those questions. And it will be different for everyone.

But to make a decision that truly aligns to what you value and want in life, you need to be fully versed in not just the benefits but also the potential sacrifices.

We can have anything we want in life. We just can't have everything.

Causes of Common Career Traps

Western society celebrates the over achiever.

What could possibly be more important than the big house, fancy job title and flash car?

Well… lots of things.

But unfortunately, the "other metrics", which aren't so highly praised in society, don't make for interesting reels or exciting stories.

No-one's interested in "Susan" who works an average job, lives below her means, enjoys the simple pleasures in life and keeps herself fit and healthy.

Instead we've become obsessed with "looking" like we've got all the trappings of success, but are actually wildly unhappy.

This saddens me.

And it's a dangerous mindset because it can lead to poor decision making. Especially when it comes to careers.

By focusing on "keeping up appearances", we're more likely to base our decisions on what we think is more acceptable and appealing to "society" and will improve our social standing, than what would actually better align to our values and bring personal meaning.

It may not just be societal expectations either, it could be the pressure from parents or family traditions that trap us into particular career decisions.

So, how do we avoid falling into career traps?

There are four defaults that can take over when making decisions. Understanding these defaults and how they can impact career decisions will enable you to think more clearly about what it is you really want.

The Emotional Default

Emotions are not the enemy. But they can cloud clear thinking when we don't recognise the automatic patterns we fall into or the lack of objective reasoning.

Making a decision on "gut feeling" is not the same as making an "emotionally charged" decision. When we are in the throes of heightened emotion (whether that's positive or negative) we can show signs of impulsivity, lack of reasoning and decisions made not on fact but feelings.

For example, can you think of an example where you've made an excellent decision in the heat of anger? If you did, I would imagine that was luck and not judgement.

If we continually make decisions when in a highly emotional state, we are unlikely to make sound judgements.

Self-awareness is the key to managing the emotional default, especially vulnerabilities such as sleep deprivation and heightened stress.

When considering what to do with your career, what emotional state are you in?

I have never wanted to quit as badly as I did when I was in the height of my burnout. My stress levels were through the roof, I couldn't see a way out and I felt continually anxious. Had I made a significant career decision in that emotional state it would not have been one made on clear rational grounds.

The Ego Default

The ego default kicks in when we feel a need to defend our self-image. This can lead to ego-driven actions that subsequently undermine our success.

In terms of career choices I resonate with this strongly. Prior to pulling out of my last promotion attempt,? I was subconsciously needing people to see me in a particular way. I was holding onto a self-image that required external validation. Without it, I felt like a failure.

To combat the ego's negative influence we need to be vigilant against the drive to feel important. When pride or a desire for recognition is dictating our actions, this is the time to take a step back.

If the key driver for you seeking promotion is a need to feel important or a desire to be respected, is this a really valid reason to go for it? Is your ego taking over?

I've since learnt that letting go of my ego enables me to make more considered decisions that align to my actually priorities, and not just a need for people to see me in a particular light.

The Social Default

The social default drives us to conform to group norms and behaviour out of a fear of being ostracised.

If you're in a world where seeking promotion, more money, more material possessions is the "norm" then it may be challenging to buck against this.

Similarly, if your environment is the polar opposite and you actually have that drive for climbing the corporate ladder, that can be equally difficult.

Our personal growth, creativity, and ability to be innovative may be stifled when we allow our fear of social rejection to govern our actions.?

To achieve exceptional results, we need to resist the comfort of conformity and be willing to stand out.

It's remembering that your "calculated risk" may be very different to someone else's and we need to relinquish the requirement to constantly compare.

The Inertia Default

As humans, we don't like change. Our desire to keep the status quo can often be detrimental.

It's why we stay in jobs we hate and relationships that don't work because there is comfort and safety in knowing what to expect.

Predictability gives us comfort because we remove the potential for adverse outcomes.

When the effort to maintain is less than the effort to change, this is when we can get caught in the inertia default.

When this comes to careers the inertia default can emerge in an unexpected way.

You would think that inertia in careers would be not seeking out that promotion, it would be shying away from seeking out challenges. But I've actually experienced it the other way round.

The "inertia" I've experienced in the corporate world is the constant expectation of always climbing. If you're not seeking out that next opportunity or next promotion, then you're the odd one out. And this plays out, people go for promotion because it's easier than taking a step back and thinking if that's what they actually want, if they're on the right path, in the right career etc.

I have seen far too many people get to the top of that career ladder to only realise they've climbed completely the wrong one. And that's because it was EASIER to keep climbing than it was to pause and re-assess other options.

Concluding Thoughts

Your worth is not defined by your job title.

Nor is it defined by how much money you earn.

In a world full of “hustlers” and 24/7 work addicts, it’s ok to question if that lifestyle is truly what you want.

Whilst I am all for seeking out challenges, achievements and learning to better yourself, I believe it is more important to do those things for the right reasons.

Before you get yourself on that promotion wheel, do the inner work. Identify your values. Know what your REAL priorities are. Be happy with who you are as a person without external validation. Get yourself into clear thinking by removing your emotions, ego, social pressure and the desire to avoid failures.

Make the decision for career progression on sound reasoning.