Why You Shouldn't Be Friends

Spending a lot of time with colleagues can lead to close relationships, even outside of work. 70% of professionals believe that having friends at work makes their job more enjoyable. ?

However, when you're a boss or in a position of power, being friends with your employees can be tricky.?

Only 15% of employees believe that it's appropriate for leaders to be friends with their subordinates.

The problem lies in the unequal power dynamic of the boss-employee relationship.?

A leader's job involves evaluating and making decisions that can affect their employees' careers, making it hard to maintain a truly equal friendship. Giving critical feedback or addressing issues in such a relationship can be difficult, as employees may doubt the leader's intentions and suspect favouritism.

HBR's research shows that 20% of employees feel uncomfortable with leaders who are overly friendly with their subordinates.

While it's natural to develop warm relationships with colleagues, it's important to respect professional boundaries in the workplace.?

Being friendly is encouraged, but being friends with your employees is not always appropriate. It's crucial to maintain a professional demeanour, especially when evaluating or addressing issues related to an employee's work.

Undesired Feeling/Beliefs & Impact of Believing It

While it may seem like a good idea to be friends with your employees, statistics show that it's not always the best approach.?

A study by Gallup found that only 35% of US leaders are engaged at work, which could be linked to difficulties in balancing professional and personal relationships with their team members . Here are some reasons why it's better to maintain a professional distance from your employees.

First, it's important to recognize that humans are naturally social creatures. While being cordial and friendly can encourage communication and motivation, blurring the line between cordiality and friendship can lead to accusations of favouritism.?

A report by the Harvard Business Review shows that 64% of employees believe that leaders show favouritism to some employees over others. By refraining from being friends with your employees, you can avoid these accusations and make decisions based solely on performance.

Attempts to befriend all team members can also come across as insincere, which can undermine your authority and respect as a leader. A study found that 38% of employees said they would be less likely to trust a leader who tries too hard to be liked .?

As a leader, you need to maintain a level of professionalism to effectively discipline your employees when necessary. Oversharing personal information with your team members can also be problematic, as it can lead to breaches of confidentiality and make it difficult for you to separate personal and professional relationships.

Lastly, as a leader, you are responsible for the performance of your team members, and sometimes that means making tough decisions like firing someone who isn't meeting expectations. However, if you're friends with your employees, you may hesitate to take such actions, leading to a decrease in your effectiveness as a leader.?

According to a survey by CareerBuilder, 41% of US employers said that a bad hire in the past year had cost them at least $25,000. By maintaining a professional relationship with your team members, you can ensure that you make decisions based on what's best for the company, rather than on personal biases.

While it may seem tempting to be friends with your employees, it's important to recognize that a professional relationship is often the better approach. By maintaining a level of professionalism and avoiding accusations of favouritism, you can effectively lead your team and make tough decisions when necessary.

In nutshell, being friends with your employees will result in:

• Risk of favouritism which can damage the workplace environment.?
• Undermination of your authority as the boss.
• Resulting in breaching confidentiality.
• Make it harder for you to make tough decisions.

Desired Feeling/Beliefs & Positives of Shifting To This Pattern

Maintaining a balance between being friendly and authoritative is crucial in a leadership position.?

You want to create a positive work environment where everyone feels comfortable, but at the same time, you need to assert your authority and make sure that everyone is working towards the same goals. Think of the friend and leader role as two sides of a scale that you need to balance.

Understandably, you may find yourself becoming friends with your employees, but it's essential to recognize when this happens and take steps to rebalance. You can cut back on after-work drinks, invite different members of the team to social events, and say "no" a little more often.?

This will help you to maintain a professional relationship with your team while still being friendly.

As a leader, you should always remember that you are the one in charge. You don't want to make anyone feel small, but it's important to maintain a level of professionalism.?

Be a supportive and motivating role model, rather than being "one of the team." While it's great to pull your team together, try to keep yourself a step apart from everyone else.

If you aren't invited to social events with your team, don't take it personally. Remember how you felt when you were an employee and the boss was hanging out with everyone? Your team may see you as their leader, and it's important to respect that dynamic. Instead of trying to force a friendship, look to build relationships with other leaders and leaders in your organisation. This will allow you to share challenges and advice freely, without undermining your work relationships.

In conclusion, successful work relationships require balance. You want your team to do well, collectively and individually, and that requires you to maintain the right level of professionalism. Your relationships with your team members should balance amiability and professionalism, and your leadership style should balance clear authority and care for each team member. By maintaining this balance, you'll be able to create a positive work environment that fosters productivity and success.

3 things a leader can do to be friendly with employees without being friends:

1. Show interest in their lives and well-being: Leaders can be friendly with employees by showing genuine interest in their lives, asking about their hobbies, interests, and families, and expressing empathy and support when they are going through a tough time.

1. Create a positive work environment: Leaders can foster a friendly work environment by showing appreciation and recognition for employees' contributions, encouraging teamwork and collaboration, and providing opportunities for social interaction and team building.

Set clear boundaries and expectations: Leaders can maintain a professional relationship with employees by setting clear boundaries and expectations, establishing a formal chain of command, avoiding favouritism or special treatment, and addressing conflicts or performance issues in a timely and constructive manner.