Why you shouldn't feel like you have to have it all together: A Perspective on the Surgeon General’s Advisory

In a world where the expectation to "have it all together" often feels like the norm, the recent Surgeon General's Advisory on parental stress and well-being is a crucial reminder that this expectation is not only unrealistic but also detrimental to our mental health. As someone deeply involved in supporting overwhelmed and burned-out working parents, I want to share why you shouldn't feel pressured to present a perfect front and how embracing support and compassion can lead to a healthier, more balanced life.

It took me back to a pivotal moment in my life—a chapter of burnout, stress, and overwhelming fatigue that reshaped my path and led me to where I am today.

In 2019, I returned to full-time work after having my second child. My role had changed, and under new leadership, my remote working days were eliminated. I was suddenly expected to be in the office five days a week while navigating the challenges of raising a toddler and a newborn.

The daily stress was relentless. I was sleep-deprived, scared, and isolated. Every morning felt like a battle, not just with time but with my own physical and mental limits. I vividly recall taking the train to work, feeling so overwhelmed that I feared I might collapse or worse, my exhaustion manifesting in a tragic accident.

My mornings began at the crack of dawn, trying to leave the house before 7 AM to reach my desk in Boston by 8. My kids would be screaming as we rushed out the door, the pressure of timelines and the need to remember everything weighing heavily on me. The stress wasn’t just a passing feeling; it pulsed through my body and compounded with each passing day.

As working parents, we are often expected to juggle it all—our careers, our children, our homes, and even our aging parents. But here’s what I want to make crystal clear: We were never meant to do this alone.

Today’s working parents are more overwhelmed than ever, burdened with guilt and unrealistic expectations that they should have everything figured out. But the truth is, even the most ambitious, organized, and productive among us are set up to feel defeated by a system that fails to support us. This perpetual cycle of stress, overwhelm, and burnout isn’t a personal failing—it’s a systemic one.

We need to recognize that our mental health is on a continuum. There will be seasons in life when we require more support, and that’s okay. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.

Human connection is essential. None of us are immune to struggles—whether it's the emotional toll of daily stress, mental health challenges, or the weight of loss and grief. We need each other. No one should have to face these burdens without support, hanging on by a thread with limited resources.

As we navigate the trying and burdensome years of parenthood, it’s crucial to remember that reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness, but a step towards reclaiming our well-being.?

We were never meant to do this alone.

The ideal of "having it all together" suggests that you should be able to balance work, family, and personal well-being effortlessly. But this myth can be harmful. It sets an unattainable standard that leaves many feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. The reality is, no one can juggle all responsibilities flawlessly without encountering challenges.

The Surgeon General’s Advisory highlights the increasing stress that modern parents face, underscoring the need for systemic changes to support them better. It recognizes that the demands of parenting, combined with work and personal life pressures, create a significant strain on mental health. This acknowledgment is a step towards dismantling the myth that perfection is achievable or even desirable.

Life coaching offers tailored strategies to manage stress and prioritize well-being. It helps individuals recognize their needs, set realistic goals, and navigate the complexities of their lives with compassion. Through personalized guidance, working parents can find sustainable practices that work for them, rather than striving for an unattainable ideal.

Remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.

Reach out for support, connect with your community, and consider life coaching as a valuable resource to help you thrive amidst the demands of modern life. You deserve to be supported and to live a balanced life, free from the pressures of having to "have it all together."

If we haven’t met, I’m Christine, Master Certified Life coach, Mom of 3. I help overwhelmed and stressed women cut through the chaos of their lives and prioritize themselves in a way that feels good to them. I lead with empathy, support, and my intuition.? If you’d like to be a part of my community, feel free to join me here.