Why You Shouldn’t Fake It Until You Make It

The following is adapted from Twenty-Five Hours A Day.

When I was young, whenever I was confronted with something I didn’t know, I’d try to bluff my way through it. I feared looking ignorant, or like someone who didn’t have all the answers. High school, college, the early days of my business—I worried about creating the perception that I was an idiot, so when I didn’t know the answer to something, I faked it. “Fake it until you make it” was my mantra.

My mindset changed when I went to U.S. Army Ranger School. I realized the moment I got there that there was going to be a lot of stuff in the course that I didn’t know, and that I wouldn’t be able to fake knowing about. I committed to asking questions, asking for help, and admitting when I didn’t know something.

It was like a light bulb went off in my head, and the results were amazing. It opened doors to accelerating my knowledge and skills, and sparked an urge to learn, to stretch myself. I realized that “fake it until you make it” was some of the worst advice I ever received. Here’s why. 

Faking It Doesn’t Teach You Skills

When I was stationed in South Korea, I made it a goal to learn at least three new things every day, so I could grow and get better. Within one year, I knew that I’d be adding 1,000 skills to my toolbox. Imagine where you’d be a year from now if you added 1,000 new skills to your skillset. How much more valuable would you be as an employee? What heights could you reach? Where might that new knowledge take you? Faking it will never get you there.  

There were plenty of times in the Army that my “fake it until you make it “mindset was challenged. Once, we were in one of the rock pits at Fort Benning, and I was learning how to tie an inline bowline knot. A classmate asked me if I knew how to dress (a fancy way of saying “finish”) the knot. I had to consciously force myself to admit I didn’t, then to ask, “Can you teach me?” 

If I had said, “Yes,” I would have been on the hook for teaching him. I probably would have looked like an idiot, or worse, I could have taught him wrong and put him in danger if he ever needed that knot. But by saying, “No,” I gave us both the chance to learn a new skill.

When I started my nutrition company, I had no clue what I was doing, but I was all-in. I had no background in business. I didn’t understand cash flow, and my plan was to figure it out as I went. I dieted and cut down to be ready for a photoshoot to help promote our products on the website. Meanwhile, I was going to school for nutrition and talking to pros at my local gym. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was passionate and determined to do whatever I had to do to make it happen.

If I tried to fake my knowledge or experience, my company would never have made it. I had to learn new skills to make my passion and determination pay off. Faking it is about trying to look cool. Success is about adding new skills. 

Embrace the Suck

I first heard the term “embrace the suck” in 2009, when I was in the Army Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC) in college. It struck a chord in my head. I knew it was a military term, but I adopted it on the spot. I’ve continued to use it in business, in life, in my personal stuff, while working out. I literally apply it to every aspect of my life.

I think we all need to find that thing that re-centers us. For some, it’s therapy. Others, meditation, or a long walk on the beach. For me, it’s getting my ass kicked over a long period of time. Crazy as it sounds, this is my therapy, my meditation, and it leaves me feeling refreshed.

I search out events that promise to leave me a physical wreck afterward. Nothing matters more during these things than to simply drive forward and push through the suck. I’m able to focus my thinking to one thing at a time, which allows me to dedicate the thought energy needed to find solutions or meaning. Embracing the suck gives me clarity and purpose.

Admitting that you don’t know something isn’t a wasn’t a physical kind of pain, but it still represents the “embrace the suck” mindset perfectly. Figuring out new things is often difficult, and you have to ask for a lot of help. You have to let go of your ego and face the challenges that come with being new at something. That sucks, but it’s always worth it in the end. 

Learn on the Fly

Learning on the fly isn’t the same as faking it. I’ve always valued practical experience over book learning. Whenever I talk to someone, I can tell right away as to whether they’re talking from experience, or from something they read in a book, or saw on a video, but have never actually experienced themselves. Experience is an invaluable part of learning, and it takes humility and courage to try new things, despite the possibility of failure. 

If you’re always concerned with “getting it right” or convincing others that you aren’t ignorant and you know everything, you’re not leaving any room for your own growth. You aren’t giving yourself the space to make mistakes and learn from new experiences. 

Over the years, I’ve had conversations with well-meaning folks who wanted to focus on the things I’ve done wrong in building the business. They wanted to point out the inefficiencies in the process, the things we did wrong, and to offer solutions to do a better job. Usually, though, these aren’t people who’ve actually done what I’ve attempted to do, namely, grow a business from scratch. 

It’s easy to analyze mistakes, but those mistakes were part of my process. Those were the things I had to go through to get where I wanted to be. Don’t be afraid to make your own mistakes, either. Creation is messy. Following a dream isn’t always a straight line. The only real sin would be to make mistakes and not learn from them.

The Not-So-Secret Sauce

What happens to unused muscle? It atrophies—loses form and mass and becomes useless. When you fake it, you are never going to make it. You’re only relying on appearances, not the real muscle of your brain and talent.  

Embracing the suck means learning, and learning—that burning desire to acquire new knowledge—is the not-so-secret sauce to growth in your personal life and career. It’s the key to improving yourself, your business, and your relationships with others. 

When you embrace the suck and admit that you don’t know (and don’t need to know) everything, you exercise every fiber of your body and soul. The end result is a level of success and happiness that you’d never envisioned.

For more advice on learning, you can find Twenty-Five Hours A Day on Amazon.

Nick Bare is the founder and president of Bare Performance Nutrition, a seven-figure supplement company with a focus on high-quality products. Nick has a Bachelor of Science in Nutrition, served four years active duty as an infantry officer in the United States Army, and completed US Army Ranger school. He completed a 150-mile ruck march to not only raise money for Hurricane Harvey victims, but also test his mental and physical strength. Nick, who lives in Austin, Texas, has built a community of hundreds of thousands of followers on social media.