Why you shouldn’t do anything for anyone else?
Dr Fern White
Principal Dentist @ Beacon Cove Dental, Melbourne Keynote Speaker, Coach and Mentor for Dental Women ????
A big problem right now, if you think that you are doing things for everyone else.?
Think about it.?
If you are going around serving and looking after your partner. Giving him the touch he wants because it's his love language.
If in the back of your head you're saying “I'm doing this for him,'' you're going to run into trouble.?
Because you're going to start to resent him.?
Or you’re training your staff and giving up a lot of your time while saying, "Well, okay, I'm doing it for them. I'm doing it so that they can be better people".?
You're going to resent them when they leave.?
What about, "I'm doing it for my kids. I'm sacrificing all of these things so that my kids have this time to play," or whatever it is??
More resentment.
What you need to do is STOP doing things for other people.?
Turn it around and realise that everything you’re doing, you're doing it for YOURSELF.?
You have to reframe it.??
“I'm doing this for myself.”?
“I choose to be intimate with my partner. I choose to serve him because I want it for me.”?
“I choose to be a better leader. I choose to come in and train my team because it will serve me.?
It will give me the reps and the practice that I need to be a better communicator.”?
“I choose to be around and serve my kids because it'll make me a better mum."?
If you can turn your thinking around and show that everything you do has an impact on you, then you're winning.
And you're winning because then you don't fall into that pattern of resentment and saying, "I did it all for you."
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No, no, no, no, no, no.?
You know that Bryan Adams song, ‘Everything I Do, I Do It For You?’?
Scrap that.?
Drop the martyr. She’s not doing you any favours.
Everything that you do right now, you do it for YOU.?
When you realise this it’s a win win for everyone.?
You never lose, because you always win.?
You can always learn something from every situation.
It’s a chance to do the reps so you can become a better communicator, a better lover, a better mama.
Whatever it is you’re giving to right now.
Everything that you do, you do it for you. Remember that.
Love,
Fern
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