Why you shouldn't ask a tester "Does this make me look fat?"

I have been in testing domain for almost a decade now. All of us wish our work didn't impact our lives, but it does. Being a tester has made me look for defects and errors in the unlikeliest of places. My mind, if forced to think, WILL find an issue.

That is not to say I enjoy proving my point in a miserable conversation, but yes, nothing is ever good enough. Sorry Martha Stewart! We all know there is no such thing as a zero-defect code. But is that a good thing?

"Kirti, how's the food?"

(Looking at a burnt toast) "It's good, but a little more charred than I'd prefer."

"What the hell woman, can't you be polite?"

Umm, yeah. I can lie, if that's what you mean. We are just more likely to NOT lie. Because hey, we need to minimize our defect slippage ratio. It messes with our heads. Why would you people rather have the issue in an Alpha version?

Although, I am working on being diplomatic. The best tool available. Or defect deflection.

"Kirti, does this make me look fat?"

"You know, red is not your colour."

Win- win.