Why You Shouldn’t Be Afraid to Embrace Your Envy

In a world often driven by comparison and competition, it’s not uncommon to experience envy. But what if we could transform this seemingly negative emotion into a catalyst for growth? Here’s why you shouldn’t fear envy and how to use it constructively.

Studies show that envy peaks between ages 15-25, a period of life exploration, and resurfaces around 30-34 and 55-59 years, as we measure our achievements against others.

Nearly 40% of people experience envy (or have the strength to acknowledge it).

Besides acquaintances, it can hit strangers as well, with common triggers being exceptional abilities, success, and even happiness in others. In the workplace, people feel envy for colleagues' salaries, working conditions, flexible schedules, or remote work.

Research indicates that there are two ways to handle envy over unfavourable social comparisons: a constructive path that acknowledges envy and develops resources, and a destructive path that focuses on feeling inadequate and defending oneself.

So how can you make Envy help you instead of hinder you?

1. The first step is acceptance. Recognize and acknowledge your feelings without judgment.
2. Understand that envy often highlights what you truly desire. Allow yourself to want these things.
3. Change your perspective. Instead of seeing others as objects of envy, view their achievements as living proof that something you want is achievable.
4. Plan Your Path. Start with a few steps towards your goal. Starting with a direction and first steps will be enough; you don't need to have a complete roadmap.

It's tricky and confusing, but letting yourself feel envy can make it easier not to compare yourself with others and can turn a potentially destructive emotion into a tool to gain self-awareness and growth.

In conclusion, let me just remind you that your career and personal journey are uniquely yours, and it is totally fine that our accomplishments, paces, and results are different from one another. You can read more about it here Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself to Others.