Why You Should Be Who You Are. Not Who You Think You Should Be.

I’ve watched ‘’Embrace Your Raw Strange Magic’ several times. It’s one of my favourite TED talks. Casey Gerald’s storytelling is magical, his message of courage and authenticity compelling. I’m curious about his life story.

‘Watch: Casey Gerald: Embrace your raw, strange magic | TED Talk

As he highlights, many of us change parts of who we are to ‘fit in, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. Sadly, when we relinquish parts of ourselves to conform or appease, we become lesser versions. Why? Often for the benefit of others, at our expense.

Authenticity is not a new phenomenon.

The concept of authenticity has been rooted deeply into the value system of Western civilization for over 500 years. Indeed, Shakespeare’s words “To thine own self be true”, reflect what it has meant to the Western mind. In Eastern philosophy, Lao Tze said “Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment.”

Authenticity is central to success in life, in business, and in relationships.

Investing in your personal development.

As with any personal development, authenticity starts with self-reflection; building awareness and clarity about who we?are at an individual level (and who we?are not).

This sounds easy, but embracing our?‘raw strange magic’ can take a lifetime of work. It requires introspection, sometimes working with a Coach or therapist, and is never 'done'.

We are constantly evolving and learning regardless of our role, title, or seniority..

As Brene Brown writes in ‘Atlas of the Heart’.?

‘Because we can feel belonging only if we have the courage to share our most authentic selves with people, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.’?

In other words, when we have the courage to really be ourselves with ourselves first, and then share that with others, in a psychologically safe space, there is a sense of being at home. We can be without?excuses and take our place more comfortably in the world.

See Dare to Lead | Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. - Brené Brown (brenebrown.com)

The impact of authenticity in relationships.

Connection is foundational to humanity, and yet, how often are we truly authentic in relationships with others?

Consider these two (fictional) people:

X describes herself as a ‘Thought Leader’ and often posts about her successes on social media. You know she’s claimed credit?for your team-mates work, and you sense that she envies?you. Something in your body tells you she is not trustworthy and is ‘massaging’ the truth in order to be ‘Someone’.

Y is active in several business groups?around the city. You’ve never heard him call himself a ‘Thought Leader’, although he is well known, highly respected and very capable. Sometimes he strikes you as over-confident, but you sense that he’s also somewhat self-aware so you don’t mind so much. Y admits when he doesn’t know the answer and isn’t hung up on being ‘Someone’.

Now answer these questions:

• Which one of these people seems most authentic to you?
• Who are you more likely to trust??
• What advice would you give X and Y?
• Why? How will this help them?

‘To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don't need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.’ -Thich Nhat Hanh

Why does being authentic matter so much?

Because....

• When we are consistent and authentic, people are more likely to trust us.?
• When we are authentic, life seems to flow more easily.
• When we are authentic, we are honest with ourselves and others, building stronger relationships based on truth.?
• When we are authentic, we are more successful (at work, at home, in life) because we’re not pretending to be someone else.
• When we are authentic, we play to our strengths, and accept our weaknesses. We don’t strive to be ‘Someone’.
• When we are authentic, we can relax more and get on with living.

For more on this, read: The Importance of Being Authentic (upenn.edu)

Now it's your turn.

If you're reading this to the end, I'm guessing you're committed to personal development. In that case, the following closing thoughts might fast-track your journey towards authenticity.

Coaching Tips:

1. Align to your values. When you’re aligned, life flows more easily. When you’re out of alignment, you will experience blocks. Knowing your values is Authenticity 101.

2. Trust what your body is telling you. If you’re feeling stressed, judged, or fearful, you are out of sync. Your body provides important messages. Tune in to what it’s telling you. When you are aligned and authentic, there will be a level of calm in your body.

3. Invest in quality people. Who you spend time with matters. Not everyone has you or your best interests at heart. Choose people that show up authentically. Reciprocate.

4. Stand in your power. Choose words that reflect your potency. Be honest in self-representation. Your words are a mirror of your inner and outer reality. Show up.

5. Banish labels that others put on you, especially when they’re not your truth. Labels are for others to make sense of their world. They are for them to feel safe. Be prepared to have clear boundaries with people that can’t accept you as you are, want you to be different (or stay the same), or who feel, energetically, out of sync. Define yourself.?

Thank you for your support!

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About HUKU Studio?

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