Why You Should Tell the Truth in Exit Interviews

If you've read anything I've published on LinkedIn, you know I'm usually prompted by some recent experience I've had, story I've heard, or foolery I've witnessed. This piece is no different.

I happen to have a large number of "mentees" across America. Some have been with me for decades and others are relatively new. When they are winning, they update me. When they are struggling, they consult me. And when they've played the game as hard as they can and are about to cash in their chips, well, they call me during those times, too.

This week, I had a conversation with a bright, passionate professional who has enjoyed a long career with a company. In recent months, things have gone south for her. Leadership changes, shifts in business expectations, and a seeming cultural evolution away from inclusion and toward stylistic homogeny are likely culprits for this abrupt derailment. I'll be honest. When possible, I try to encourage professionals to work within their systems to be seen, heard, and recognized in ways that enrich not only the person but the company as well. There are strategies for this. But sometimes, through a line of questioning, I can tell that encouraging someone to work against the tide would be damaging to them emotionally and spiritually. In these cases, my advice is simple: Get. Out. Followed by this: And before you do, tell the truth in your executive interview.

We don't tell the truth in exit interviews. Why? Because we don't want to "burn bridges." What does that even mean anymore? If a company has burned you, why are you afraid to hold up the mirror? Telling the truth in an exit interview doesn't have to be dramatic or volatile. It can be factual. Respectful. Direct. And still honest. Here are five reasons why you shouldn't hesitate to shine your light on an otherwise dark situation.

5 Reasons Why You Should Tell the Truth in Your Exit Interview

1. Feedback is information. No more, no less.

Being honest in an exit interview doesn't mean you're "blowing up the spot." You're providing feedback, and feedback is useful. You're sharing what worked and what didn't. You're telling your story - how you experienced the end of your tenure with that company - not only in moments, but also in memory. How actions and conversations affected you professionally and emotionally. The impressions left on you. The conclusions you made as a result. The impact of those conclusions on your effectiveness. It is not right or wrong, good or bad. It's just your truth. Tell it.

2. Some bridges are overrated.

If a company has "put you in a corner" with their action or inaction, rendering your contributions meaningless or deconstructing you with petty and irrelevant feedback, they have lit the proverbial match. Now you're on your way out, either voluntarily or involuntarily. What exactly are you concerned about? Those two or three people whose theories about what happened might differ from yours? So what? There's a great big world out there. Lots of destinations. And lots of bridges, too. You can always cross another one. Don't let this old adage prevent you from doing what exit interviews are made for.

3. It's probably not just you.

Until we start documenting the choices and behaviors that marginalize us at work, erect barriers to progress, or send mixed signals about how we should operate, a company will not recognize the patterns that essentially spit diverse employees out. It will always be the fault of the person exiting. They will point to some reason why you are different, when in fact, sometimes you're not that different. Sometimes the reasons why you're leaving are darn close to the reasons why other people like you are leaving. But no documentation = no patterns. No patterns = no insights. No insights = no accountability. Think of the people before you whose feedback could have instigated real culture change - how might your experience have been different? Now think of the people after you. How will your honesty help them?

4. Your voice deserves to be heard.

You may have spent years in your company feeling silenced. Conversely, you may have enjoyed decades of meaningful contribution and influence, only to be sidelined by a late-breaking turn of events. It doesn't matter. In a business world where every company claims to be "people first," the voice of the people is important. In this case, you are the people. You may be over it and, if you're like many others on their way out, you may be thinking it's not worth it. But it is. Say your piece - in truth and in service of a better outcome for everyone. It's important to know that, at the end of the day, you had your own back. Your company's narrative shouldn't be the only one. You matter, friends.

5. Your company can't get healthy if it doesn't know it's sick.

This one is a combination of the above points, but the bottom line is worth reinforcing. For every talented employee who has experienced cultural misfires, there is an accountable leader who has no idea there is a systemic issue. They don't know they are unconsciously rewarding the same type of person over and over to the exclusion of people who don't fit the mold. They don't realize they're nit-picking people who make them uncomfortable. They don't see how they are systematically homogenizing their organizations, and unless we start telling the truth, they won't see it until until their business begins to suffer. At this point, they will be confused as to what went wrong. (Myopia. That's what.)

Your company has to be able to see beyond its nose. Your honesty on the way out provides important input for culture diagnosis. Without it, they will tell themselves the story they want to believe. This is human nature, and companies are nothing more than a collection of humans. It may be too late for you to personally benefit from telling the truth in your exit interview. But someone down the line will thank you for it. And maybe, just maybe, your company will, too.

Tara Jaye Frank is a passionate leadership speaker and consultant, a blessed wife, a grateful mother of six children ages twelve to twenty-two, and a firm believer in human potential. She recently founded #MoreThan: A Movement - a healing movement toward deeper understanding between disconnected people. Share your #morethan story at www.morethanamovement.com, and join the movement on IG/Twitter @morethanmove, and on Facebook @morethanahealingmovement.