Why You Should Take Up the Bestie-Challenge

We all have that one friend who we can count on for a good laugh, a listening ear, and some tough love when we need it. Our lives are so much better because of that one friendship. But what if I told you that you can be that friend to yourself? That it is actually more beneficial for you to be that friend than it is to rely on an outside source of friendship? Or, that you can use self-talk to become your own bestie and boost your personal growth and development while you're at it? I know. It is pretty cool right?!

As a self-help author and expert in self-talk, mindset, and neuroplasticity, I know the power of positive self-talk firsthand. In fact, I am making a point of writing about it in my upcoming book "Does your mind hear you? How to transform your life with authentic self-talk", because self-talk can alter the longest relationship you will ever have - the one with yourself. I felt inspired to write about how we are always in a relationship with ourselves, yet most people struggle to recognise that relationship at all, let alone make it a fulfilling one - because I think we can change things for ourselves from within.

Self-talk that is directed authentically to ourselves can help us build self-confidence, resilience, and motivation. It can also make us feel like we have our own personal hype squad following us around. But here's the thing: we often forget to treat ourselves like we would treat our bestie. We don't give ourselves enough credit for our accomplishments, we don't cut ourselves enough slack for our mistakes, allow ourselves to be patient as we learn and grow, and... we don't listen to our own advice!

Take up the Bestie challenge:

So, my challenge to you is this: be your own bestie. Use positive, kind and authentic self-talk to support and encourage yourself. Celebrate your strengths and achievements, and be kind and compassionate to yourself when things don't go as planned. Spend just 60 seconds per day on this task. Here's how it works;

1. Pick a time that you can consistently talk to yourself for a minute about what's happened in your day (this often means it is what you talk to yourself about as you wind down for the night and are getting ready for bed).
2. Focus on being kind with your words, compassionate with your self-reflection, and always use assertive language (In other words, there is no room for "maybe" or "Should have" or "I might". Your brain likes clarity so try "I will", "I did", "I can" instead). Notice your wins, the things you still need to learn, and how you are handling each part of your life.
3. Be honest with yourself. There is no point talking to yourself like a motivational poster if those are not the actual words you respond to. In the early stages of this challenge you may not feel naturally "in love" with yourself. That's ok. Look for things that are okay, satisfactory or passable first. For example it may not be authentic initially to say "I did a wonderful job today at work and I love myself fully". It may be more like "I recognise the that I did a satisfactory job today and I am glad that I am taking the time to become my own friend". Your brain knows when you are being real and will respond to it.
4. Repeat this process daily for three weeks and then reflect on what has changed internally for you.

Refine and do it again: Notice what is working for you in your self-talk and what can be evolved. As you go along you will notice how your self-talk naturally shifts from satisfactory to more empowered language. Just remember that whatever is reinforced most in the brain wins over time. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Before you know it this will be a routine you look forward to daily and then BOOM - you will be your own best friend!

Be a magnet:

The benefits of positive self-talk go beyond just personal growth, development and ensuring you are your own pal. It can also improve your relationships with others, your career, and even improve your body's baseline functions and overall well-being. When you're your own bestie, you radiate authenticity and confidence, and that attracts others (and other opportunities) to you like a magnet.

So go ahead, be take up the bestie challenge. Tell yourself that you're awesome, that you're capable, and that you're worthy of love and respect. And watch how your life transforms for the better.

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