Why You Should Never Let Fear of Failure Stop You Trying

And how to trick yourself into succeeding.

For years, I had this same old behaviour pattern whenever I would try to get out there and achieve my dream goals. I would come up with a great idea. I would get really excited. I would tell people. I would begin. And I would immediately get stuck. Always at the first hurdle, whether it was a novel, a business idea, or a film synopsis.

Each time I would be thinking: “This time it’s going to be different.” It was like a new relationship. I would be giddy and starry eyed at first. And then, I would come back down to earth from my little floating fantasy world, landing hard among the practicalities of the thing; I would see all these hoops to jump through, in front me, and I would cave in to the belief that I just couldn’t make it. The idea that earlier electrified me suddenly drained me. And each time, the same old doubts would come up. And I would just feel so helpless, hopeless and… sad!

Of course, I wouldn’t be the first person to experience lack of self belief. My field of work has shown me that. But it would be the devastating disappointment in myself afterwards that would really get me.

“Fear kills more dreams than failure ever will.” – Suzy Kassem

What I discovered, though, through the course of my career, is that the barrier that most people experience at the giving up stage, is rather better described as a gate – an unlocked one at that, but one that people are just too afraid to enter. Instead they create this block in their mind, seeing it as an immovable obstacle. They are just afraid of what is on the other side of trying because it’s an unknown. They’ve got nothing to compare it to. So they categorise it, unconsciously, into the danger box. It’s ok to peek, but not to open or walk through, as in the gateway analogy. And it’s understandable. We are hardwired to stay away from things we don’t recognise or understand, until they become familiar.

I was exactly the same. That was the hurdle for me. Trying was like a hill that I couldn’t see beyond. I had no idea what could be over the crest. The thought was so scary. Just because I had no idea about what to expect. In that space of not knowing, I would fill it with all kinds of horror stories. It was always about what would go wrong and who I would let down.

So how do you get over that kind of hump? What I did, when launching my existing business, was trick my mind into thinking it was going into a known situation, thereby removing doubt. It was another new business idea of mine. But this time, instead of getting the pretty branding together, I started doing the actual work on the side, through an agent, slowly building up to the point where I had a healthy client base. I gained trust and loyalty. Then when I realised the clients wanted something different that tapped into their specific needs that were not being met, I created that exact service. I didn’t need to research the market, I was already in it. I didn’t even have a website or business cards, but I was able to test out my new product without a marketing budget and without triggering my imposter syndrome. It worked. And my current business was born, even without a name at that point. Because I was already doing it, just under a different guise.

I used a similar experiment on my clients and found that all of them needed this invisible push; a gentle tricking of the mind, so they could discover their true capabilities without seeming to be trying. Almost all of them believed they were learning a particular skill they lacked, but in fact, they already had those strengths in their tool kit that perhaps just needed sharpening. What they were doing instead was developing the mindset to give themselves the confidence and permission to go after their goals. It works every time.

It’s safe to say, the relationship we have with ourselves is best described as complicated.

Ultimately, we are all the same. Most of us get hung up on our own limiting ideas about who we are and what we can achieve. Rarely are we able to view ourselves with the same generosity we extend to others and nor do we reflect on our qualities with the perspective that others have of us. Especially when we spend most of our time minimising our abilities, undervaluing our worth and ignoring our needs. And in making the risky comparisons of ourselves with others, we fail to accurately assess our real strengths. It’s safe to say, the relationship we have with ourselves is best described as complicated.

But we simply need to try. No matter how much of an unknown quantity that action represents. And at the same time, it’s about investing a little blind faith into that void of not knowing, because that is where possibility lives. And possibility always opens the door to something worth taking the risk for. Even if it’s just a new learning.

Pimmi Pande , September 2023.

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Pimmi Pande has spent well over twenty years observing the behaviours, practises and characteristics of successful individuals, and those who aspire to be, and assisting individuals in creating fulfilling, successful, lives. A key focus is on how people think and communicate. Pimmi has used the results of research and experience from working in the Film & TV industry, and as a writer, to create communications and mindset practises to great effect with her international clients over the years. Much of the writing shared in this publication is a direct result of this work.?

Pimmi now mentors groups and individuals, guiding them towards how to live consciously while achieving more. She also offers motivational speaking opportunities, commissioned writing, and is available for interviews.?

To book a free consultation to work with Pimmi, click here: https://www.pimmipande.com/apply