Why You Should Never Buy “Self-help” Books

During my teenage days, I have been a big fan of the so-called “self-help” books. I used to read typical self-help titles like “The Power of XYZ Thinking,” “How To Win ABC and Do XYZ,” and “Think and Do XYZ”.

What I thought then was that these books could provide the panacea for the lack of confidence, anxiety, social complexes, public speaking fear, and other social fears that I was facing at that time. When I finished reading such a book, it used to give me a kind of sense of achievement that I have done something, and I have “improved” something in my persona.

In fact, partly inspired by one popular self-help book written by a famous Indian self-help guru, and partly due to my on delusions, I even started a business at the age of 20, but failed miserably (obviously, I am not blaming the book for my failure!).

However, over a period time, I have observed that whatever “feel good” effects — enthusiasm, hope, energy, motivation, etc. — that I get after reading a self-help book lasts only for a few days or weeks. I realized that there was no substantial change in the fundamental problems that I was facing.

Scientifically speaking, the reality was that all these books just activated the dopamine pathways in my brain a bit, and made me “feel good”, which I misconstrued as incremental improvement.

My realization: self-help books, in reality, will only “help” their authors

The only real beneficiaries of self-help books — provided they become popular — are their authors who will make good money from the royalties and can then “help” themselves. There are always a number of self-help authors in the fray, but the one who presents a novel idea of a particular time most often becomes successful and will go on to become a “rock star”, start his consulting firm, do workshops across the world, write a few more books, and become a rich man. Then, another one with a new idea comes, the cycle repeats, and this goes on.  

Some authors who have not been that “lucky” and have not become “rock stars” will use their books as a publicity material for their workshops and other coaching programs and will make money.

Mostly, it’s the same wine in a different bottle

If you read 10 self-help books of the “The Power of XYZ” “You Can Do XYZ” variety, you will realize that essentially they are all talking about the same things: always think positive, copy the habits of great achievers, leverage the power of your mind, etc.

Self-help, literally, means you help yourself…

“Self-help” means you help yourself, and it does not mean that you let someone else help you with the magic formula that they have invented for everyone. In fact, there is no magic formula for achieving anything in life. Anything that anyone has achieved in life can be achieved by adopting different strategies. There are always endless permutations and combinations that can lead to the same result.

…so do it

First accept that the problems that you are trying to find a solution to are structural in nature. Then, try to find your own solutions for them, and apply them. Learn from others who have successfully did it, but do not blindly copy their strategies, create your own unique strategy, because both you and your problems are unique. And, more importantly, take your time.  

But still, if you have a pressing need to follow the advice of someone, go for the “doers” – people who have really done the thing that you want to achieve, not the people who give you advice for a living.

Disclaimer: The views, thoughts, and opinions expressed in the text belong solely to the author, and not necessarily to the author’s employer, organization, committee or other group or individual.