Why You Should Let Your Fears Guide You

We all have fears…! Being afraid of something is a natural part of life, but it’s important to overcome your fears or better yet, learn how to let your fears guide you. If you let fear control your life, then you won’t be living life to its fullest.

Take a minute to think about your potential, where your limit is? I hope some of you are saying to yourself, “the sky is the limit!”

Staying in fear could cap your personal and professional potential. Don’t settle and let fear hold you back, you’re worth more than that.

So, how can we overcome our fears and instead let our fear guide us?

Well, during this #Millennialtalk we spoke with the one and only Leonard Kim who’s  TEDx Talk, Why You Should Let Your Fears Guide You, has been internationally recognized as one of the best TED Talks by Forbes and Inc. Magazine.

If your ready to conquer your fears, scroll down to read a recap of last night’s insightful Q&A…

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@ChelseaKrost: The root or stem of that fear could reveal how to conquer it. How can you overcome your fear if you don’t know the who, what, where ,when, why, or how it began….

@MrLeonardKim: First, there are two types of fears. One is the primal fear where you can’t stand bugs or spiders and stuff. The other fear is the ones we learn as we get older. We’re going to talk about the other type of fear. The ones that we learn. You want to understand your fears because as we grow as humans, what happens is we start to act based on prior events in our lives. It becomes cause and effect. Cause and effect. And next thing you know, you’re a brand new person. And that person may be a better version of yourself, but chances are, that new person is making their decisions based off of fears that have become engrained in their minds and is becoming the driving influence behind their behavior, or lack thereof. That fear could be the reason you’re scared to try new things, meet new people, or even get out of your own home. The reason you want to understand your fears is simple. If you have a problem you want to solve, you need to know what the underlying cause is.

@jkhoey: You won’t truly conquer or overcome or push aside something until you understand it.

@ChelseaKrost: Fear creates nerves, stress, and anxiety. If we can learn to re-direct our fear we can truly work to eliminate stress and anxiety from our lives too! Holding on to fear or letting your fear win has a negative compounding effect.

@MrLeonardKim: Let’s discuss all four topics. First we will start with anxiety. Anxiety is defined as a feeling of worry that is usually tied to an imminent event with an uncertain outcome. In other words, it’s worry of the unknown. Stress is when you have mental or emotional strain that results in being under too much demand. This usually happens when you say yes to everything and get overwhelmed with commitments, make promises you can’t keep or stress can be when you are behind on a deadline and can’t deliver your project on time. Sometimes, stress is self-imposed from overpromising or procrastination, but other times, it can be when others have unrealistic expecations of you. Now nerves is a person’s mental state when they feel agitated or worried. Or when we counter things that annoy us. These are usually caused by things we don’t like, such as when someone chews their pen, or hearing a screech on the chalk board. Fears on the other hand are an emotion that are caused by a belief that something will cause us pain, or be a threat to us. One common fear many face is when you don’t want to leave your job to be self employed because you’re scared of living without a salary. Another common fear is when you are scared of doing that you truly want to do because you feel that others will judge you negatively. These could be rooted from past experiences, like being unemployed or bullied or growing to not believe in yourself anymore.

@ryanfoland: Fear is your body’s way of protecting you. The better you understand what the threat is, the better you can approach the challenge. “Named must your fear be before banish it you can.” – Yoda

Don’t fear the traffic. Become the traffic. And try that same concept for other things that scare you. Don’t fear public speaking. Become the speaker! Don’t fear the ….. Become the ….

Fear, nerves, stress, and anxiety are all things that can hold you back from greatness. I always say, if it frightens you, gives you nerves, or anxiety, do it.

Fear, nerves, stress, and anxiety can all be forms of self doubt. Self doubt is self destructive. Tap into your confidence.

@ChelseaKrost: I am a big believer in getting a 3rd parties perspective. Sometimes being in our own head gets us nowhere fast & we need to hear ourselves talk out loud. Depending on your circumstance a mentor, advisor, coach, guide, healer, or therapist could be helpful.

@MrLeonardKim: In order to let your fears guide you, you first have to identify what it is you are scared of. Sometimes, recognizing a fear can be easy. “I’m scared to go speak in public.” Yeah, that’s easy to identify because most people have the same fear. Othertimes, this can be difficult because you have to go layers deep to discover what it is that you are truly afraid of. For myself, I am scared of talking with new people because people who I let into my space before hurt me while others made fun of me. You may think you are scared of one thing, but you are really scared of something else. You need to sometimes go layers deep and go why do I feel scared to talk to people? When was the first time I felt this way? Was it when I was bullied? Or…Your fear can be derived from many things, whether it be speaking up in a meeting, reaching out to a prospective mentor, or the thought of how others would judge you if you decide to share something that you have experienced in your own life. No matter what that true fear is, you have to recognize exactly what it is you are afraid of. I remember my biggest fear when I had to live with my grandma was to admit to others that I was a failure and that I lost everything. It took me months before I could come clean to that about anyone and I just lied saying I was busy and couldn’t make it out.

@ChelseaKrost: Whenever I am scared/stressed out about something I create a to-do list to guide me on how to take action & tackle the “thing” causing the stress. Taking ACTION helps eliminate the stress aka the fear of the unknown. People’s judgements, comments, & rude remarks will always be there. If the fear of what others will say/think is holding you back DON’T LET THEM WIN. Your opionion of yourself & your loved ones is all that matters, not strangers with a keyboard. Haters gonna hate. 

@MrLeonardKim: Facing your fear is easier said than done. When you begin to face your fears, it may feel as if you are looking the devil straight in their eyes. And who wouldn’t be scared of looking the devil in their eyes? They say there are two reactions to fear. You either fight or flight. But you can also freeze too. I’m a coward. When given a choice, I usually freeze in terror or run away. So if that’s what you do, I get it because I do it too. Facing your fear can trigger any of these reactions, and if you’ve encountered your fears before, you probably have a cyclical pattern in dealing with fear, like hiding in bed each time you think of finding a new job or gravitating towards the corner when you are at a networking event instead of meeting others or flaking entirely. I do some of these things too, so no big deal. But once you face your fear, you need to move onto the next step. You have to DSA it or do something about it. If you don’t do something about it, then you won’t be able to move ahead. Some things you can do to DSA it include writing, talking to others, sharing a story, going to a job interview, starting a business, etc. If you don’t DSA it, then the cyclical behavior will continue, or get worse. When I used to be stuck in bed jobless, I went for days, then it turned to weeks, to months, then I had an eviction notice. So you gotta DSA it.

@robynstevensPR: I like to go for outdoors and think about other situations in my past that I was scared / stressed out about – that I ended up accomplishing, enjoying and learning from, it inspires me.

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To view the rest of this #MillennialTalk Q&A, click here!