Why you should consider self-compassion to support your life and leadership

I have been a fan of self-compassion for many years now. It is one of three practices that have forever changed my life for the better. The other practices in my indispensable triad are gratitude and contemplative practice --(future post alert!). For now, I’m excited to share a few reasons why you should consider self-compassion to support your life and leadership, after reading the article The Most Needed, but Counter-Intuitive Leadership Skill: Self-Compassion by Steph Stern, Director of Global Expansion for the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute.

I first read Kristen Neff’s book Self-Compassion in 2015. I was so excited that I formed a small reading circle around the content. Not everyone was sold at first. This is the point that Steph Stern, Director of Global Expansion for the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute makes in the article The Most Needed, but Counter-Intuitive Leadership Skill: Self-Compassion. Stern describes the initial perceptions of self-compassion as “soft, squishy, and something I didn’t need.” Yup. I concur, there were side-eyes in my group as well. But after learning more, attitudes changed. Stern now sees self-compassion as?

“an essential leadership skill and one that is all the more important right now amidst uncertainty, stress, and challenge.”

I agree wholeheartedly. As a leadership coach, I’ve noticed that performance challenges are more often linked to internal self-talk and outdated belief systems than technical ability. These intrapersonal dynamics get in the way of performing at one’s best. When that happens, we are not creating a supportive environment for learning and habit change to occur. We are instead creating loops of self-judgment and self-doubt. But as Sterns points out self-compassion helps us develop a balanced perspective of ourselves within our circumstances.

“self-compassion allows you to keep perspective and face challenges without either becoming harshly self-critical or unrealistically inflating our self-esteem, and without blaming others.”

I recommend pairing self-compassion with a growth mindset–(future post alert!) whenever embarking on new personal/professional development goals. This dynamic duo of a skillset can help us keep in mind that while it’s difficult to do new things, we have the capacity to learn. And with this perspective, we can be kind to ourselves as we stumble through, practice, and grow. Remember learning to tie your shoe for the first time, ride a bike, or write in cursive? Wait, do they still do that? I think I just dated myself.?

The point is that at once upon a time these things were hard too, and with time and practice they got easier. While we are ‘in-process,’ self-compassion helps us to lead others by leading ourselves. Lastly, I’ll leave us with some sage wisdom from Stern’s article,?

“by supporting you to show up with more perspective, optimism, and connection, self-compassion can help you to be the leader you want to be.”?

All in all, this read helped me rediscover the applications for self-compassion for today’s leaders and beyond.

Intrigued? Why not find one small exercise to support your resilience today.

Learn more about the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute?

Adapted from...https://siyli.org/the-most-needed-but-counter-intuitive-leadership-skill-self-compassion/?

Go forth and do great things!

Alfreda

I write about the intersections of contemplative practice, values, leadership,creativity, social justice, and wellbeing.