Why You Need To Understand Your Emotional Triggers To Stop Their Influence

The many life events that are taking place influence all of your feelings. Life events of any complexity can set up emotional triggers in people. Simply seeing the news on television or the loud sounds in your neighborhood can cause an internal emotional reaction.

Your present thinking will determine how you respond to each of these triggers. Any phrase, person, circumstance, or experience that sets off an immediate emotional response is referred to as a trigger. It’s like getting startled by a noise: The trigger is the noise, and the reaction is to be startled.

Your responses to emotional stimuli frequently go beyond what is reasonable given the circumstance. It appears you’re still startled by the sound of the slammed door several hours later. Triggers are the con your ego uses, though. Your response can be so quick that they blur the distinction between stimulus and action, giving the impression that they are the same.

But they can also guide you toward your healing journey. They can help you identify the tasks you need to complete on your own. A trigger can be a sign from the Universe if it encourages self-reflection.

Your triggers are pathways to your wounds. The stimulus is only a door. ~ Sanhita Baruah

What Is An Emotional Trigger?

Not every emotional trigger is harmful. They can also invoke joy or wonderful memories, such as when you smell a flower that makes you think of a special place or view a picture of an auspicious moment. However, you typically use the word "trigger" to refer to unfavorable stimuli, such as those that cause you to feel depressed, angry, or afraid.

The survival response includes fighting, running away, or freezing. Your body may get agitated, sweaty, or chilled. Your egoic mind perceives harm, and the sympathetic nervous system kicks in to protect you. But frequently the ego goes too far, struggles too fiercely, or freezes for too long. These reactions may start to hinder your ability to function in daily life. It's a dead end when a trigger only results in a survival response.

That you can't trust yourself is a powerful motivator for triggers. But you have access to your inner resources, therefore, you can learn to recognize your reactions rather than simply acting on them. Then, you can have faith in your ability to manage your emotions.

The arrows don't hit as hard as they used to as you gain confidence. Instead of running from your world's dark side, you become courageous enough to deal with it.

We all have a trigger built into our heads… Not aware of its existence whatsoever. But a single word can pull the trigger. Forcing us to feel numb, allowing the shadows to sip through the cracks in our build-up shell. ~ Kate O’Grady

Types of Emotional Triggers

Strong emotional reactions are not always negatively triggered. It’s sensible to react with shock and grief if you learn of a friend or relative's abrupt passing. Your body automatically changes your heart rate, breathing pattern, pulse, and brain synapses. Avoiding this isn’t good, and trying to regulate it isn’t healthy either.

However, the past may enter the present and take control of your neural system when you react intensely to a less significant occurrence. Psychology identifies nine types of triggers:

1.   Being undervalued, such as when someone brushes you off or rejects your calls.

2.   When you feel self-conscious, for example, when you're by yourself in a group or comparing yourself with others.

3.   Feeling taken advantage of, for instance, when someone doesn't pay you back on a loan.

4.   Feeling controlled, such as when someone decides for you or tells you what to do or how to feel.

5.   When you feel exposed or at risk, for example, when you're in a vulnerable situation.

6.   Relationship sensations, for instance, feeling suffocated or lonely.

7.   Concerns about personal boundaries, such as when someone approaches you while intoxicated or disregards your personal space.

8.   Uncomfortable feelings about what is occurring, like when you see someone being injured or when someone says or does something that goes against your beliefs.

9.   Anxiety about potential outcomes, such as when a threat seems imminent.

Even though they are unpleasant, all the triggers on the list are realities of life and relationships.

Triggers are like little psychic explosions that crash through avoidance and bring the dissociated, avoided trauma suddenly, unexpectedly, back into consciousness. ~ Carolyn Spring

Where Do Emotional Triggers Originate?

Disappointment is a potential in human interactions. Nobody should expect a life free of triggers. Even so, these routine experiences have the potential and frequently remind us of past sufferings. Trauma is a shocking, hurtful experience that you have no control over how it will turn out. Because the experience is so painful, you frequently detach from what is happening during traumatic events.

It's challenging to recall all the details because of the pain. Years may pass before you can feel the emotions you've suppressed, and this won't happen until your internal clock signals you’re prepared to deal with the past suffering.

However, a trigger ignores your scheduling and thrusts you into the physical memory of trauma before you're prepared to face it cognitively. This explains why, when you’re triggered, you frequently experience a sense of utter helplessness.

Fortunately, in the present moment, you may learn to notice trigger reactions and then question their strength, such as when you take feedback from a coworker as a complete character evaluation or when you react to a perceived insult as though someone is attempting to undermine you.

You can pause and ask: “Is this about me as a person, or the work I’ve done.” This enables you to examine your behavior rather than blame it on others. You’re less likely to get triggered the more you can embrace the truth.

They don't directly listen to you. They just hear things within their minds that are triggered by your words. ~ Toba Beta

How To Deal With Emotional Triggers

These days, you have many resources at your disposal, including inner ones, to help you manage your emotions. Here are ten specific psychological and spiritual methods that can help you respond to your emotional triggers rather than simply react to them.

1. Label them. You can preserve a written list of the names of your well-known, frequent emotional triggers in your journal. Whenever someone criticizes your weight or attractiveness, for instance? Or perhaps if your income is not a particular amount? Or perhaps you believe you are unworthy of love and a fulfilling relationship? To identify the parts of yourself that require healing, list them. These could be specific individuals, phrases, locations, or actions. You get prepared for your triggers when you are aware of them. Then, rather than acting out of reflex, you respond consciously.

2. Look for the origin. To break free from a trigger reaction, you must first identify the cause—a particular experience. Emotional triggers show you where the past has intruded into the present. Keep a journal and note the sources of these triggers. Did your parents ever tell you that you were pudgy or ugly, for instance? Did an art teacher ever tell you that you lacked the skills necessary to be an artist? Or perhaps your family neglected you and you grew up believing you were unlovable. Being more aware of your triggers will help you better understand who you are. But they also provide you the opportunity to see right into the innermost parts of who you authentically are. For example, I've found that when I precisely pinpoint the source of a trigger within myself, I can frequently significantly lessen the impact of the trigger.

All pain triggers a reminder, deeper than thought, buzzing through blood and bone, that we are fragile and finite. ~ K.J. Ramsey

3. Recognize projections. Projections play a role in trigger reactions. For instance, if one of your parents had behaved violently out of anger toward you, you might still be sensitive to other people's anger today. This is the case even though anger and violence aren't always related since your body fears a repetition of that initial event. Your ego makes predictions based on the past. Most importantly, when you focus your response solely on other people, it renders you helpless since you’re powerless to influence them. By accepting responsibility for your actions, you move closer to recovery and letting go of the initial pain.

4. See hyperarousal symptoms. Because cortisol and adrenaline rush through you when you’re startled, you may experience weakness, panic, and confusion. In that situation, you cannot self-regulate, thus your priority is to calm yourself down. Have your go-to relaxation techniques ready to use when you feel this way. Breathe in deeply. Take a fast lap of the block. Go to the restroom and splash some water on your face. Take deliberate action that will help bring you back to the present moment.

I don't know if I'm ready to know what triggers my anger. I just feel like I figured out on my own how to stay calm, how to enjoy life, how to be happy. ~ Rolando McClain

5. Calm the inner critic. Avoid engaging with the egoic voice because doing so will just start a debate. Instead, attempt to use the inner critic's voice as a bell signaling it’s time to take a break. It can serve as a reminder to engage in a self-care ritual, such as repeating the mantra, "I trust myself to do my best." I trust myself to handle whatever happens is a useful mantra to repeat when you begin to worry excessively. Reprogram the lies of the ego. Start by lovingly reprogramming one trigger that has the least emotional impact. Remind yourself this is an egoic lie. Actually, "I am lovable, capable, and smart" is what is true. Replace the limiting belief with a more empowering one that is grounded in reality.

6. Express your feelings. Similar to muscles, emotions grow healthily when they are used effectively. Similarly, if you've suppressed an emotion like anger or sadness for most of your life, your capacity to deal with it suffers. This is one reason when you’re emotionally triggered, a reaction could feel inappropriate. As you get better at understanding and expressing your feelings, you’re less likely to act incorrectly when you have potent emotions.

Fear comes from your past observations. That fear settles inside you. It becomes your psyche. Something triggers it and it fuels that subconscious. There is no logic to it. ~ Gulzar

7. Pause for a moment. You become subject to triggers and lose your impartiality. Take a minute by taking a step back to allow your ego to settle. This makes it simpler to discuss how someone's behavior or experience has affected you in a nonjudgmental manner. You can also reply with an echo. The precise words that are upsetting us can be repeated slowly to the individual who spoke them. This causes a pause that can stop you from feeling overwhelmed or victimized. You’re rerouting the energy back to its source.

8. Understand family interactions. It makes sense that you’re frequently at your most reactive around family members since they’re aware of all of your buttons and know precisely how and when to push them. Be alert if you know that a certain family member presents difficulties for you. Be as present as you can, and if things get out of hand, leave the area. The aim is to be loving and have boundaries.

We are not a victim of our emotions or thoughts. We can understand our triggers and use them as tools to help us respond more objectively. ~ Elizabeth Thornton

9. Seek help. Consult a specialist if a certain emotional trigger is causing specific issues for you. Seek counseling or a life coach like myself, who can help you identify the cause of a trigger and process the associated emotions. Because you may feel a lack of support, you may experience extreme fury or grief. As a result, you have trouble believing in yourself. By expressing and letting go of the emotions, you can recover from the trigger and embrace your inner strength.

10. Accept what is. Even though triggers can be unpleasant and difficult, it might be helpful to keep in mind that they are one of the body's methods of guiding you toward your recovery and completeness. And everyone possesses them. Everyone experiences such triggers; they are a natural part of existence. One approach to being kind to yourself is to make it a habit of accepting the things you cannot alter, including the fact that people will inevitably say or do things that irritate you. You can learn to accept that triggering circumstances will occur, even though you don't have to accept abuse.

I have thoughts - obtrusive thoughts and rituals that have to - it's like a broken skipping record. And if these thoughts or these triggers happen to me through maybe shaking a hand or just a thought or just - then I can't get past it and move on with my life. ~ Howie Mandel

Moving Forward Emotionally Free

It’s freeing to eliminate your triggers because other people's offensive remarks won't affect you. They won't be able to zap you, but they might still be bothersome. As you move through life, the ego is looking for ways to keep you protected, that’s its job. When you give in to the voice of dread, you give up control of your life to the egoic mind. 

But along with the ego’s screams are the whispers of the soul. It’s analyzing the situations from a place of love and will allow you to respond for the best outcome for your life. The soul is looking for your complete healing from past hurts. It recognizes the boundless potential that you have to move past a life of fear into a life of love. You will become more emotionally liberated as you work to address your emotional triggers.

The idea that you have to be protected from any kind of uncomfortable emotion is what I absolutely do not subscribe to. ~ John Cleese

Do you need help identifying the source of your emotional triggers? Are you looking for support to empower yourself to overcome the negative reactions you’re having? Do you want a strategy to help you create an extraordinary life? Consider using my coaching services by contacting me at TerriKozlowski.com if you feel you cannot move forward alone. Together, we can create an action plan for you to identify the source of your emotional triggers and help you on your healing journey.

To discover how I learned to deal with the family triggers, you can do so by reading Raven Transcending Fear, a book I wrote, which is available on Amazon, or by visiting RavenTranscendingFear.com for further details.