Why you need to stop turning to others to empower you and how to empower yourself instead

There is so much talk about empowerment; it’s become a buzzword: Women’s empowerment, youth empowerment, empowerment here, empowerment there…

But the truth is:

No one can empower you but yourself!

Empower (em-power) means to place power inside of someone. – How would they do this?

Now, another person may transfer legal powers to you, or the so-called “power” that comes with a position of authority. They can also give you money, training, tools, and other resources – which you can either put to good use or let go to waste… because this is not “empowerment.”

The real power, your creative power, that power that no one can take away from you, that is power that originates within. No one can grant this type of power to you, and no one can place it inside of you, and that’s also not necessary. Because it’s already there.

Our power doesn’t spring from an external source. Our power is already inside of us, and this is where it has always been. We may just not be aware of it or disconnected from it. (This is not surprising, as we’re literally educated out of it.) ?And when we’re not connected to it, it’s as if we’re trying to watch TV without plugging in the power cord. Power energy cannot flow. So, we must first plug in our inner power cord so we can feel our power – our inner power – and trust that it’s there.

We can tap into this inner power through our mindset, our heartset, energetically or spiritually… and preferably in all four ways.

Everything you need to be successful is in you: In your mind, your heart, your body, your energy, your spirit.

Let’s explore this together, and let’s start with mindset.

A Self-Empowering Mindset

We know that we must believe in ourselves in order to achieve success and live our wildest dreams. – But that is easier said than done.

The tricky part is that over 95% of our behavior is driven by our subconscious. We think we’re in control but we’re really not. What’s in control is our subconscious programming or conditioning. This conditioning is like a computer script: It’s filled up with data that is constantly bombarding us from all sides: our parents, teachers, families, culture, religion, the media, the collective conscious and subconscious… from the moment we are born. And we even bring some of this data with us in our genes. We are not born as clean slates.

And soon, we are programmed further – through our upbringing, education, the world that surrounds us, our experiences...

From very young, we learn that we are not enough. Our parents criticize us, our teachers scold us when we don’t give the one and only acceptable answer. We’re educated out of using our creative potential. Instead of creativity, we are taught limitation. But we are limitless. Our potential is infinite. So when people say, step into your full potential, that is not even possible. You can never use your full potential because your potential expands every time to step deeper into it. We all have untapped potential, at any given time, and we are called to explore its vastness.

All this programming pretty much keeps us on autopilot, it controls our thoughts and our behaviors… We think about 70-80,000 thoughts a day, and 90% are of the same nature as our thoughts of the previous day.

Reflect on this for a moment: What are most of your thoughts about? Are they empowering or disempowering? Are you thinking your thoughts or are your thoughts thinking you? Where do they even come from? – Interesting question, right?

As some have said: our mind is a great servant but a lousy master.

So, for us to take control, we must become the observers of our thoughts and learn to master them. This requires daily practice. What’s been recorded over all these years is not easily deleted in a day. But it’s all about progress, and it’s a journey worth walking on. ?

From very young, we learn that we are not enough. Our parents criticize us, our teachers scold us when we don’t give the one and only acceptable answer. We’re educated out of using our creative potential. Instead of creativity, we are taught limitation. But we are limitless. Our potential is infinite. So when people say, step into your full potential, that is not even possible. You can never use your full potential because your potential expands every time to step deeper into it. We all have untapped potential, at any given time, and we are called to explore its vastness.

Now, of course, mindset is key… but the mind is most powerful when it is led by the heart.

Mindset and heartset must go hand in hand because they are better together. When your heart and mind are in co-creation, you will be able to use the power of both: the intellectual power of the mind, on the one hand, and the you-specific wisdom of the heart, on the other… that wisdom that you have gathered through your unique life and experiences.

A Self-Empowering Heartset

It is noteworthy that the heart isn’t just a blood-pumping organ. It is a part of the brain with 40,000 brain-like cells called sensory neurites, which feel and remember similarly to the neurons in the head brain, independently of the head brain. Just like all other organs, our heart continuously communicates with the cranial brain. But we could say that our heart brain and our cranial brain have a “special connection.” Scientists have found that they communicate in at least 4 ways: neurologically, biochemically, biophysically, and energetically. (Feel free to consult the research of the HeartMath Institute.)

Scientists have found that the heart’s electrical field is 100x as strong as the brain’s electrical field magnetic field of the heart can even be up to 5,000 times stronger than the head brain’s magnetic field. What’s also interesting is that the heart’s electromagnetic frequency creates a torus-shaped field.

What does this mean? It means that our connection with the world around us happens through our hearts to a very large extent. Our heart is literally a magnet because of the strong magnetic frequency it emanates, that strong signal it sends out. It is the home of our magnetic monopole, which attracts things and people toward us.

Our heart holds many treasures: It is where we can find courage. (Courage is in the heart, fear is in the mind.) It is where love, self-love, and compassion reside. We can ask it for answers as it speaks to us through with its intuitive voice… if we are willing to listen. (Questions are in the mind, answers are in the heart.)

The magic happens when your heart and your mind become coherent, when they work together in harmony. Hence my teachings around a Self-Empowering Mindset & Heartset.

Self-Empowering Energy

It takes seven seconds to make a first impression, right? – That’s at least what we hear all the time. When, in reality, it takes a mere 0.07 seconds for our brains to figure out whether we can trust someone.

That is less than a blink of an eye. It must happen this fast because it is part of our survival mechanism. This is about our energy. Preparing energetically can change how you show up in business, in your career, and in life in general.

So, can you see now that it makes all the difference when you optimize your energy before meetings, job interviews, presentations, critical conversations, negotiations, or any other challenging situations?

Of course, our energy is inseparable from our body. Our posture and our body language impact the energy we convey and vice versa. Thus, power posing (as introduced by Amy Cuddy) or power dancing (my preferred variant) help us feel more confident. When we focus on our power energy, our inner power expands, this enhances our perceived (energetic) presence.

There are many other ways to optimize your energy and enhance your business and speaking presence, as described in some of the exercises included in my book Speak up, Stand out and Shine .

A Self-Empowering Spirit

Each of us may have a different spiritual practice, and as long as it doesn’t limit us (as many religious organizations have tried to do for the sake of controlling humans and keeping them smaller than they really are), any of them can be valuable in the context of self-empowerment.

What is important for any spiritual self-empowerment practice is that you don’t see yourself as the victim of your circumstances. This, again, is related to your mindset. Nothing is separate. All four elements are in fact inseparably intertwined, even if we contemplate them separately for the sake of offering some facts and suggested practices.

First and foremost, we are spiritual beings, and we are having a human experience. This means, we don’t “become spiritual.” We are spiritual. So, from my perspective, everyone is invited to connect to their highest spiritual self to explore which practice is most beneficial to them. ?

I consider myself a free spirit. My spiritual essence doesn’t fit into any religious doctrine, and as a spiritual being, I can talk to God, my Source, my Creator directly. I need no intermediary and I prefer to avoid distortions. You are free to decide this for yourself. After all, you have been given free will for a reason.

In summary, if you rely on someone else to empower you, this may result in huge disappointment. Because it’s just not possible. That’s the bad news.

The good news is: You can empower yourself. In fact, you are already em-powered. You just need to remember to connect with the power that is in you so you can unleash it and tap into greater depths of your unused potential.

Always remember: You are meant to be the director of your life. This role comes with responsibility. It requires taking risks. But it also comes with the gift of freedom and unlimited possibilities. Taking risks allows you to explore the richness of your unlimited potential.

The time to self-direct your career or business, and your entire life, is NOW.

Questions? I’m here to answer them for you.

Ask away in Comments below!