Why You Need Multiple Mentors

Chances are you’ve received the career advice to “find a mentor” from countless well-intentioned people — from career advisors to older relatives to your new boss. Of course, these people are right. Data clearly indicates that?protégés?(i.e., you) benefit from having a mentor.

But if you take this advice too literally, it can also be pretty misleading. When we hear the words “find a mentor,” we implicitly interpret them to mean “find ONE mentor.” And so, when our organization assigns us a formal mentor or we identify one ourselves, we assume that we’ve accomplished this task and can check it off our lists. In reality, though, finding only one mentor may not be as useful as you think. In fact, it could do more damage than good.

Let’s first consider why this is a problem and then discuss what you can do about it.

The Problem

One of the benefits of having a mentor is that you get to learn from their past experiences. If you ask the right questions, you can get their perspective on how to negotiate politics at work, ask for a raise, and which projects will get you the most visibility. The advice they dish out is shaped by their career path, values, and goals. This means, however well-intentioned they may be, their advice is also somewhat biased and their baggage — good or bad — will inevitably become a part of your journey.

While this is true no matter how many mentors you have, you can gain a more valuable outlook by triangulating advice from multiple individuals. You can take bits and pieces of what each has to offer and decide for yourself which words of wisdom feel right for you at certain points in you career.?That’s much harder to do when if your mentor situation is a “one and done.”

Another risk that emerges from the mythos of finding “the one” is that a single mentor is unlikely to be an expert on all the things that you need support with, especially early in your career. The transition from college to career is a time of rapid growth with that will require you to make countless decisions: which job to choose, how to navigate financial independence, the best ways to deal with a difficult coworker, how to network, and more.

It’s unrealistic to expect one person to have all the answers.

In addition, if you’re looking for the holy grail of a mentor who is an expert at all of these things, you’re not only setting yourself up for disappointment, you’re also asking for a lot of their time and energy. For busy working professionals, this may be more responsibility than they want to take on. The question, “Will you be my mentor?” can be tough to say yes to. This burden is even?higher?on women and people of color, who are frequently asked to take on more mentoring than their white male counterparts.

By diversifying your portfolio of mentors, you will be able to get the support you need without over-burdening one person, and find the right?people?to help you navigate the problems they are uniquely well-suited to solve.

The Solution

If relying on a single mentor is a risky career proposition, the obvious solution is to pursue multiple mentors. Yet, doing so effectively will take time and practice. Below, I describe steps you can take now to help you reframe your approach to mentoring and proactively develop a network of support that will help you thrive in your career and beyond.?This process is frequently referred to as?mentor mapping, and it serves as both a mindset shift and a planning tool.

Here are a few steps you can take to rethink mentoring and approach it in a fresh and thoughtful way.

1) Envision what you want your career and life to look like five years down the road.?What do you want to do? How do you want to feel? How will it be different from the present?

Creating a vision of the future is a staple of personal and professional development for good reason. By starting off with a sense of where you want to go, you can more clearly identify the steps you’ll need to take to get there, starting from where you are now. At this point, allow yourself to dream big without worrying too much about how realistic you’re being. The purpose here is to identify the help you’ll need to progress on your path, regardless of whether this exact vision becomes reality or not.

2) Create a list of the different types of support you will need to get from where you are now to where you want to be.?Think creatively and expansively. What knowledge do you need to obtain? What skills will you need to develop? What connections will you need to make? The answers can (and should) encompass the broad array of support you’ll need as you progress both professionally and personally.

Young professionals that I’ve worked with have said they will need support from people who can: provide job search advice, introduce them to their network, help them resolve work dilemmas, set professional goals, role-model work-life harmony, give them emotional support during difficult times, and advise them financially. Use the below?Mentor Map worksheet?to write these down as Types of Support in the space provided.

3) Next, consider who currently fulfills those roles in your life.?Who do you go to for emotional support now? Where are you getting your negotiation advice? Under each category, write down as many names as you can think of. If you don’t have any names for a particular category right now, don’t worry about it! This is essential information that you can use to help you move forward.

4) Now, take a step back and review your Mentor Map.?What do you notice? Here are some questions to get you thinking:

• Are there certain areas where you have plenty of people to help you? Why do you feel like you are able to access this type of support?
• Are there certain support needs where you lack trusted mentors? What are barriers that make it difficult to access this type of support?
• Are you relying on the same person to meet multiple needs? Are they the best person to be providing each type of support? Are they overburdened?
• Are you asking people for advice outside of their area of expertise? Are each of these people uniquely well suited to mentor you in the areas you’re relying on them?

Based on your answers to those questions (or anything else you notice), start to identify where you have “missing mentors” and “misplaced mentors.” Missing mentors are types of support that you will need moving forward but don’t currently have on your list. Misplaced mentors are mentors who are supporting you in areas where they are not particularly well suited to provide advice. A mentor who appears in too many of your areas of need may also be a “misplaced mentor.” Knowing this, shift or remove mentors from certain areas of your Mentor Map.

Once you’ve completed these steps, you’ll have a much better sense of what next steps you need to take to strengthen the network of support around you. You can create a plan to fill in the “missing mentors” by developing new relationships or strengthening existing ones.

As you develop these relationships, you will find people are much more inclined to say yes to providing support or advice on a particular topic than to the question, “Will you be my mentor?” By sharing your vision for the future and clarifying your goals for these relationships, you are laying the groundwork for authentic and meaningful connections that will create a support system around you. In doing so, you avoid the risk of falling prey to the myth of the mentor.

Written by?Alyssa F. Westring