Why You Need a “4H Approach” to Your Leadership Style Right Now.

How do you lead in turbulent times? It is a worthy reflection for all leaders right now. We are still in the middle of the pandemic, even with the vaccine coming along. We are experiencing civil unrest and massive political dissent. And at the heart of it, we all just want to reconnect with colleagues, family and friends.

As 2021 started, I spent some time reflecting on my own leadership. I have the privilege of leading a large HR team and know that my way of leading will impact many. And when I whiteboarded some of the feelings I had under the surface, I was surprised by what emerged.

I saw many positive words, as that is my style. However, I also saw the words “tired” and “frustrated” and “sadness over lack of connection.” I think of myself as someone with pretty strong resilience, so if I’m feeling that way, I know others must be too. And that got me thinking about what leaders can be doing right now to help their teams as the pandemic drags on.

I remember a time earlier in my career, on a difficult project, when someone said to me, “Why are you so positive all the time? Don’t you get frustrated?” Well, of course I do, but I thought as a leader, I had to keep the optimism going. I thought if I showed the cracks in my armor, people would lose confidence in me.

The reality, though, was that my team needed me to be authentic. They needed to see that I understood how they were feeling and had frustrations of my own….that our shared experience was something we could grow from together, not something to be hidden or ignored.

It was also around that time that I was introduced to what’s known as the “3H Model.” Essentially, it says that in a time of significant change, teams can come together for positive momentum if they do all three of these steps:

• Honor the past
• Be Honest about the present
• Build Hope for the future

While the model is generally used for things like evolving businesses post acquisitions, the introduction of a new senior leader or the creation of a new business unit, I see a lot of parallels to what we’re all facing now.

Honor: We’ve had a new reality thrust on us without an opportunity to say goodbye to the old ways. Things we valued are gone, at least for now. We feel cut off from what we used to see as vital to our success or happiness. It’s important to acknowledge and honor that loss so that you can let go of the past.

Honest: We also need to recognize the present we’re in. Some things aren’t ever going to go back to “normal,” and we have to admit that. There are also new challenges that we’ve never dealt with before, with more potentially to come. Yet we also have new strengths and successes, hard won in this difficult year. Acknowledging honestly where we are today can help us move forward and create the momentum for change.

Hope: And then there’s the idea of building hope. I read an interesting piece on this recently from McKinsey. The authors referred to what’s needed as “bounded optimism” – that leaders should offer inspiration and hope, but also be realistic. Telling people that we’re almost through it could foster disappointment if delays happen. Implying that we’ll go back to the old “normal” could lead to disillusionment when we don’t fully return. Instead, the biggest kindness we can offer is to speak the truth. And as leaders, we must build a reason to believe so our people will continue to be inspired to deliver.

And this is where I believe it’s time to add another “H” to the model: Heart.

Even if leaders embrace the 3H model right now, it’s may not be enough. Because what people are missing isn’t just operational leadership, it’s human-centered leadership. The ways we interact with and understand each other have been limited in so many ways in 2020. We as leaders need to find ways to connect one-on-one and keep building relationships in our teams, to sustain the inspiration needed for the future.

So that means:

• Going out of our way to connect personally with people. We need to push past the easy answer of “I’m fine,” to see how our teams are really doing as the pandemic drags on. Set up coffee breaks. Ask questions. Really, really listed to the answers.
• Making it easy for them to connect with each other, too. Remember when work-from-home started, and we were all trying so hard to keep up our connections? Now, months in, it’s just as important. If you’ve let go of things like team happy hours, add them back. 
• Acknowledging that some things may have changed for the better. As we mourn what we’ve lost, we can also recognize things we’ve gained. Many people stepped up with leadership and innovation to deliver results this year. Make sure you’re celebrating every one of those wins! Ask people how they view their roles and their futures with this newfound perspective.
• Understanding that boundaries are different now. On the positive side, the many Zoom glimpses of each other’s personal lives have brought us closer and more authentically together. At the same time, there’s growing evidence that work-life balance has become harder for many. We need to talk about this openly and make sure we’re empowering and supporting people. As we mourn what we’ve lost, we can also recognize things we’ve gained.

As we mourn what we’ve lost, we can also recognize things we’ve gained.

There are so many lessons we can take away from the crazy year that 2020 has been. But I think one of the most important is that heart must be part of the leadership mix.

The 3H model offers great perspective to keep teams moving forward. A 4H model, with heart at the center, could do even more.

As we embark on a new year, I’m sending my warmest wishes to everyone that your 2021 is happy, healthy and, yes, full of authentic and heartfelt connections. That’s good for people and good for business – and it’s a future we can really look forward to.