Why You Keep Second-Guessing Yourself (& How to Stop)

Picture this: Your heart is in your work, you care deeply about doing a good job, and you get praise for your efforts. Yet there are still moments when it feels like you don’t belong. Been here before? It doesn’t make sense—you’re skilled, you’re dedicated, and you’re good at your job. But there it is: that gnawing sense of self-doubt whispering, “You’re too young for this,” or “You’re not good enough.”

It’s confusing and exhausting. You find yourself second-guessing everything—from how you present yourself to whether you should speak up in meetings. Public speaking feels intimidating, and the doubt doesn’t just stay in your head. It seeps into your work, pushing you to overcompensate, work harder, and hold yourself to impossibly high standards. The cycle can last for hours, days, or even weeks.

This is the imposter syndrome narrative many of us face:

• "What are you doing here?"
• "You’re not credible."
• "Keep quiet—you don’t belong."
• "You’re wading into waters you have no business being in."

The good news? With intentionality, you can change the role and impact this inner critic plays in your life.

The Mindset Shift: Facing Self-Doubt

1. Identify the Source

Self-doubt doesn’t come out of nowhere—it’s often tied to past experiences. Maybe you’ve been the youngest or newest on the team and felt overlooked, or perhaps others have underestimated you due to your background, gender, or role. It might even stem from moments when you were criticized or made to feel “less than” in previous jobs or personal relationships. Pinpoint these specific triggers so you can clearly identify what needs to shift in your mindset. Once you start to understand where the doubt is coming from, you'll gain a clearer picture of exactly what needs to shift to break free from it.

2. Challenge Your Narrative

At one point, your thoughts of doubt may have been a form of protection—keeping you cautious, avoiding failure, or helping you fit in. But now, those same thoughts are likely the ones holding you back. How are you defining success today? Are you still measuring it by external factors, like the approval or praise of others, or are you defining it by your own growth and achievements? If you keep looking outside for validation, you give away your power. It’s time to redefine success on your terms and reclaim your narrative.

3. Recognize and Reframe Negative Thoughts

We’re all human, and negative thoughts are going to happen—it’s part of life. But it’s not about trying to eliminate them; it’s about how you respond when they show up. Instead of letting those automatic negative thoughts overwhelm you, recognize them for what they are: temporary. You have the choice to shift your focus. When those thoughts arise, ask yourself: "What’s the worst that could really happen?" By putting things into perspective, you’ll find that taking risks isn’t as scary as it seems. The potential rewards are often far greater than the fear that holds you back.

Your Personal GPS: Building an Internal Compass

An internal compass is the set of principles and beliefs that guide you, independent of others’ opinions or external validation. While many people believe they have a sense of what their guiding principles are, few take the time to reflect and consciously choose the ones that truly resonate with them.

When you rely too much on outside approval, it’s easy to lose sight of your strengths, question your abilities, and avoid necessary challenges or conflict. With a strong internal compass, you make decisions with confidence, trust yourself, and face obstacles with resilience.

So the next time self-doubt creeps in, ask yourself: Am I following my internal compass, or am I letting someone else’s map guide me?

Own Your Space

If you’ve ever felt like you don’t quite belong—whether because of your age, background, or experience—it’s easy to let that doubt creep in. But the truth is, your unique perspective is exactly what sets you apart. When you operate from a place of self-assurance, rooted in your skills and internal compass, you begin to see that what makes you different is your strength. You bring fresh insights, new ideas, and a different kind of energy that can benefit any team.

You’re not alone in feeling this way. Look around, find those who support and value what you bring, and you’ll realize that many people feel the same. By embracing your differences, you can truly tap into the value you offer.

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