Why You Feel Like a Fake and How to Fix It

No one is immune to imposter syndrome. These strategies can be the cure.

There comes a time in my coaching sessions when many of my most successful clients reveal, at their most vulnerable moments, a secret:

“I’m a fraud.”

They aren’t, of course. They are high-achieving, passionate, knowledgeable, respected leaders, with the evidence to prove it. But they still can’t shake this feeling, known as imposter syndrome.

Most of us have felt imposter syndrome at one point in our careers, and very few of us are immune. In fact, research by Korn Ferry shows that the higher we rise in our careers, the more pronounced the feeling can get, with 71 percent of American CEOs saying they feel like imposters.

Imposter syndrome can have many causes and roots, varying along differences in industry norms, cultural traditions, and individual circumstances. But, the result is the same: It can hold you back from taking risks, realizing your full potential, and enjoying your hard-earned successes.

If you have imposter syndrome, know that you are not alone — and you aren’t helpless. That’s what I tell my clients following those confessions. And, with the following strategies, they learn to believe they truly deserve to be where they are.

1. Develop a growth mindset. In her book The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women: Why Capable People Suffer From the Imposter Syndrome and How to Thrive in Spite of It, Valerie Young identifies five types of imposter syndrome, characterized as the Perfectionist, the Superwoman/man, the Natural Genius, the Soloist, and the Expert.

For the Perfectionist, any result short of perfect is proof of inadequacy. The Natural Genius expects to be great at all things on the first try, and they feel like failures if they’re not. A growth mindset can help shift these thoughts.

The growth mindset, a concept identified by researcher Carol S. Dweck, is the belief that intelligence, talent, and ability are ever-evolving and can be developed through training and persistence. For most of us, there will come a time when a new role brings new challenges. Adopt a growth mindset and believe that you are capable of meeting those challenges, even if you can’t right now. Embrace that learning is a healthy and fulfilling part of the process.

The Soloist type, according to Young, faces those challenges alone, because they fear asking for help would expose them as frauds. A growth mindset can help them, too. Don’t be afraid to ask questions — of peers, trusted colleagues, managers, mentors, and even a career coach. Asking for help only reveals that you are curious and open to learning, not that you are a fraud.

2. Take feedback seriously, not personally Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone receives critical feedback, whether it’s ad-hoc or during a performance review. For those with imposter syndrome, though, critical feedback isn’t received as a routine part of work, but as reinforcing the feelings of phoniness.

Instead, remember to take critical feedback seriously (don’t dismiss it because it causes difficult feelings), not personally (the feedback is not about you as a person). Everyone, even those who seem to navigate their careers with confidence and ease, is a work in progress. Embrace that you aren’t at your final destination — instead, you are on a continuous journey of lifelong learning and skill-building.

3. Compete only against yourself. It’s often said that comparison is the thief of joy — it can also be the fuel for imposter syndrome. Many of my clients often hold back in expressing their ideas because they’re not as technically proficient as their colleagues, don’t hold as many advanced degrees, or don’t speak English as well as their native-speaking peers. The fact is, they’re in their roles not through luck or by mistake, but because they’ve earned their positions, and everyone would benefit from hearing their ideas.

Instead of silently comparing themselves with others, I invite my clients to compete only against themselves. Set realistic goals, and measure your progress against where you were before, not where your peers are now.

Similarly, practice relying on internal validation instead of seeking approval from external sources (which doesn’t do much to alleviate imposter syndrome anyway). Believe that you deserve every role, accomplishment, and reward. Be mindful of your internal dialogue — does it reflect reality, or is it only reinforcing your imposter syndrome? Nurture your internal confidence.

When you feel like you may not actually be the expert you are, mentoring someone in a junior role can be the reality check you need to rewrite that story. Helping someone else on their way up can not only feed the soul, but it can affirm that you do, in fact, know your stuff.

Overcoming imposter syndrome is not about never feeling self-doubt again — it’s about recognizing those feelings and choosing to act in spite of them. By developing a growth mindset, taking feedback seriously but not personally, and competing only against yourself, you can start to dismantle the grip of imposter syndrome. Embrace your journey, celebrate your achievements, and remember: You deserve every bit of your success.

My book, Saving Face: How to Preserve Dignity and Build Trust, illustrates how we can honor face to create positive first impressions, avoid causing others to lose face, and, most importantly, help others save face to build trust and lasting relationships inside and outside the workplace.