Why you don't love your voice?

Over the years that I’ve been a singer, then turned actor and then voiceover actor, one thing resonates in my ears a lot. “You’ve got a beautiful voice” – both speaking and sung. This may sound very arrogant to say, but it’s not based on me, but on people just spontaneously saying this to me. Yet, when I was young, I hated my voice. Why is that? Why does how we think and feel about our voice effect how we work?

Most people know this, but I’ll say it here again, as it’s so important…

What we hear in our heads isn’t how the world hears us!

So, when we first?hear our own voice the way the world around us does, there is often a dislike, a dissonance or unfamiliarity. I know when I first?heard my voice, I said, “That’s not me!” or “Do I really sound like?that?” I’ve got a theory about it. I don’t think it’s just because we don’t recognise the sound. I think there’s more to it than that.

I’ve needed to fall in love with my voice to make it work the best for me and me for it. So, I started with, “Why don’t I like the sound of my voice? – a lot of other people say it’s nice. I know I’ve always had people say I’ve got an excellent voice on the phone, so why don’t I like it?”

My exploration started me getting curious and realising that a big reason I didn’t like the sound of my own voice was…big drum roll…

Vulnerability

How does vulnerability fit into this?

Well, what I started to realise is my voice hides nothing. It’s not like my body, where I can put clothes over the bits I may not like. With my voice there’s nothing I can cover it up with. My voice says a lot about me. It says a lot about a lot of us without our realising it. In fact, it says everything about us.

So, if you have a loud voice, things are assumed of your personality. If you have a quiet voice, people assume things of you too! I think you are getting my drift here.

The voice is a naked place, especially when we hear it for the first?time. It’s why our moms can always tell ‘there’s something wrong’ when we talk with them on the phone – it’s there in the voice. Do we like that our voice reveals so much? No, usually not. People can tell we are upset just by our voice. We don’t have to be in the room with them. If they can hear our voice, they can often tell, if we are happy, sad or indifferent. They can even sense when we are playing on our phone and aren't really listening to them fully.

How does this play out in your career?

Well, if your voice isn’t being heard or you feel you lack a vocal presence or it can create a story that gets in the way of you making the mark you’d like to…you may:

o??Lack the confidence to speak up in meetings

o??Sound hesitant about ideas you’re proposing

o??Ruminate over the presentation you think went badly

o??Be spoken over, because you don’t sound like you know what you’re talking about

o??Miss out on promotions, because you don’t come across as someone who can take the lead

What can you do to prevent this from stymying your career?

Lots, from my many years of extensive experience of developing and using the voice.

Any voice can learn to project better – and represent you better - in any given circumstances. For example, just by using targeted vocal support exercises, you can learn to use your voice in a way that is powerful, without being strident…authoritative, without sounding know-it-all-y!?

Furthermore, learning how to stand, walk and hold yourself in alignment with your voice, will help you increase the impact you have.

My top 5 tips for voice:

1)????When you’re feeling insecure about the sound of your voice, grab some perspective, by reminding yourself that you’re not alone!

2)????Practice playing around with your voice – learn what different sounds ‘feel like’ to make. Just like any other ‘muscle’ you can train your voice to perform more consistently.

3)????If you feel your throat is tickly, scratchy or in pain, then stop whatever you’re doing with your voice; it’s a sign that you’re using it in a way that’s not working for you.

4)????Nervous about how your voice will perform in an important presentation??Eat a green apple (e.g. Granny Smith) about 30 mins beforehand.?The bitterness and juiciness promote the production of saliva and help to prevent the dry mouth that can dog the nervous presenter! This works much more effectively than drinking water, by the way…

5)????Get bespoke, specialised training from a voice professional.?We have first-hand experience, and expert knowledge on how to consistently get the best from your voice and have it represent you so that you feel confident and authentic.

A teacher also trained in the performing Arts, will help you put it all together, with an understanding of how to use your body to maximise your confidence and impact.

Debbie Bridge is a seasoned voice over artist, opera singer and performer, who helps mangers and leaders to increase their impact and leadership presence, using body and voice.

To book an exploratory call or find out more about her workshops with Debbie, click here: https://voiceover.debbiebridge.com/contact/