Why You Are Better off With a Cat Than a Man; A Feminist’s Take ;)
Blen Amanuel Mamo
Sustainable Marketing Strategist | Digital Copywriter | Social Media & Community Engagement | Empowering Brands with Purpose & Impact
I am sure you have heard of the sentiment that feminism is a radical notion that women are human beings and that some of us feminists hate men. I want to take this opportunity to confirm that these rumours are true. This blog will discuss the roles of indigenous Ethiopian cultures and Western Media in the rise in men’s sexual violence against women in Ethiopia. And more importantly, I attempt to convince my female readers why statistically they are better off with cats than men.
What are the Roles of these Indigenous Cultures?
Most harmful traditions against women and girls are interrelated. It starts with FGM, followed by the deadly idea of virginity, then comes early marriage, harassment in public spaces, justified abductions, rape and murders.? Female Genital Mutilation is practised universally; including in Ethiopia, it is done to ensure women's virginity before marriage and their fidelity afterwards. FGM has lifelong consequences for the victims, such as scarring, cysts and other tissue damage, infertility, life-threatening childbirth complications, and increased susceptibility to infections. (World Health Organization: WHO, 2020) So much for equality and bodily autonomy.
This sets the tone for a lifetime of misogyny. Some of us are still convinced our worth equates to our "purity". I have always found it disturbing that the patriarchy has objectified everything about women. Here we are, believing that our value is determined by what we can offer our future husband on our wedding night. Through this internalised misogyny, the patriarchy has succeeded in making women participants in their subjugation. “Boys only want one thing”, I have heard from my mother, “your virginity”. Virginity is men's preoccupation in our disorderly societies crafted to exercise power and control over women. (F. Mernissi, 2021)
The horror stories continue as the most common ages for child brides are 15 to 17. Marriages earlier than 15 are considered very early marriages. (Child marriage - Frequently Asked Questions, 2018)? In Ethiopia, it is not so rare to promise the hands of unborn girls for marriage for financial and security reasons. In addition to lack of education, this practice makes young brides vulnerable to sexual violence, STIs, unplanned pregnancies, and domestic violence. I want to mention, however not as prevalent as girls, in some countries, 1 in 25 boys younger than 18 are victims. Even though it is illegal, it is still prevalent under the guise of tradition and religion. Young girls are not safe even if they have sensible parents who send them to school. Abduction is a frequent practice in rural areas, where young girls are taken by older men, raped and forced into marriages.?
In big cities like Addis Ababa, harassment and…. catcalling in public spaces is common. Like most parts of the world, the current Covid-19 pandemic has increased rape and domestic abuse cases. 58% of women have reported that they or a woman they know have experienced violence from men, and 3 in 5 women reported increased sexual harassment in public. However, only 1 in 10 women would report to the police in case of abuse. (Measuring the shadow pandemic: Violence against women during COVID-19, 2021)
What is the Role of Western Media in the Rise in Men’s Violence Against Women
The impact of Western media on the rise of men’s violence against women in Ethiopia is hard to ignore. Western ideology has an embarrassingly high influence on African youth. We often watch chronic and repeated domestic violence in movies and shows. Studies have shown that higher exposure to this causes a change in affective, cognitive, and behavioural processes. (Kohlman et al., 2014) The Ethiopian population is very young and susceptible to such influences. Humour is also a prevalent way to deliver sexism and misogyny. We see this in our most-watched shows like Friends and How I Met Your Mother. Women are ridiculed, stereotyped and devalued, leading to increased rates of men’s violence against women.?
Notable newspapers and magazines with significant influence have portrayed rapists and abusers positively, causing the public to sympathise with them. The choice of words tent to describe the victims negatively, laying the way for the trending culture of victim-blaming. The public is influenced into thinking the victims deserved it by justifications such as “The victim was wearing…”, “The victim agreed to go on a date with…’, and by manipulating details to paint a bad picture. Similarly, studies have shown that women tend to connote women as victims and responsible for such violence in women's magazines. On the other hand, there is a “tolerance for and celebration of sexual violence" in men’s magazines through humour and exoneration. In this time of globalisation, anyone exposed to these sentiments is highly likely to be influenced and deem men’s violence against women just.?
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Historically compared to Africa, the patriarchal system was prevalent in western cultures. Even though gender roles were typical worldwide, women played vital roles in Ethiopian history.? One of the most notable leaders was Empress Taitu Betul, a diplomat and a war strategist who fought against colonisation alongside her husband, King Menilik II. (Taytu Betul biography | Women, 2019) In the Arsi Oromo, women were engaged in socio-judicial decision-making processes through the Sinqee institution, a women-led customary institution that settled disputes. Harari scholar Ay Amatullāh (1851–1893) played a significant role in handing down and teaching Islamic learnings. (Zeleke Eresso, 2021) The most prominent women’s civil society organisation today, the Ethiopian Women Lawyer’s Association (EWLA), challenges the legislation against women by using the human rights framework. They work to provide legal advice to women, raise awareness and fight against men’s violence against women. (Burgess, 2013) It is clear despite the odds, Ethiopian women continue to play huge roles in the economic, political and cultural transformation of the nation.??
The Numbers are not in Our Favor
Rape culture has become incredibly prevalent in Ethiopia because of the reasons mentioned above. The pooled prevalence of men’s sexual violence against women in the workplace is 22%, a 14.1% increase in general cases of attempted rape, and an 8% increase in rape. There is a staggering 33,2% for sexual harassment in public areas and at home. Men’s sexual violence against commercial sex workers increased by 28%. According to a study the pooled prevalence was highest for university staff at 49%. (Worke et al., 2020) These statistics do not represent the entirety of Ethiopia. However, it is an excellent place to start this conversation about why men’s violence against women seems to be increasing, where it stems from and what can be done about it.
Can we do anything about this violence?
The patriarchy has made this a women’s problem when it is Men’s Violence Against Women. It threatens women’s physical, emotional and mental health. Intersectionality is also a crucial part of this problem. Women from lower socioeconomic classes, women who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, women without education, etc., are impacted in more complex and significant ways. (Women, 2020)
As a feminist, I have made it my mission to advocate for women’s rights and free individual self-expression. I believe each of our activism will deconstruct the patriarchy and build a new and inclusive society.? I call on every feminist to speak up and challenge misogyny; silence is part of the problem. And why cats? Because cats have long been women’s best friends, they possess healing powers, and they elevate your mood. Seeing how statistically, men are the biggest threats to our wellbeing, this Christmas look into adopting a kitten.
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