Why you will always be alone:
One thing has always been kept in my mind and it's that I never ever expect my life to stay the same. I've lost everything multiple times over and over and it's what allows me to keep my mind-stead-fast. More and more I realize, my beliefs are so far beyond the inferior slow beliefs of neurotypicals, that I find myself in this self-imposed isolation many of times. As you know much, of the content that I write about is all fairly extreme and it's all true. I am not here to be liked and I am not your friend. I write, to find out the reality of the world and then I act on those results. Yet, many neurotypicals come to me and constantly whine about their problems. They say, they don't have enough friends yet? That their relationships are incomplete, that they need a new car, that it's still not right, yet they are always trying to run from their own isolation...Where am I getting at?
- No one Can fix your life: One of the curiosities of neurotypicals, is that they have all the most latent potential in the world, yet they are always expecting others to fix their problems for them. If only this new X dream girl would come into my life and fix my problems everything will be perfect. Well, this is simply not going to happen. No one can help you, No one can force you to change yourself, No one is going to slap some sense into you. No one is going save you. All of my life with ADHD has proven this to me time and time again. I was always alone and I will die alone. My actions alone led my to my current reality, not anyone else's actions, only my own. No one can fix your life, No one can come by and do the work for you. Only you can do it. Every result,we get in life is precisely because of are actions alone. We choose to be weak, We choose to quit. We choose to be frustrated. Most of my highschool youth I lived around the idea of trying to always Find help, to find the magic answer to BE on the varsity track team and To RUN 4:30 mile and to get the gold medal. The help Never came. Your help does not exist. No one can control your mind, except you. Stop waiting for help that won't help you and help yourself.
2. ACCEPT THAT YOU STAND ALONE: One thing I've realized is that greatness does not desire company, because that company would make that greatness common. You will never be great if you are with other people. Ever. I remember when I almost killed myself driving from Idaho to California, I almost ran myself off the road 3 times and died. I remember almost dying of heat-stroke in the Nevada desert, from my own ignorance and lack of planning. I remember almost going homeless multiple times. Yet, I still stand and others do Not? Why? It's simple, I keep coming back because I rely on no one to survive. I remain when everyone else has left the play-ground, I continue and keep going and do not need anyone to make my fucking destiny happen. It was my fucking effort to bike in the snow that got me to class every single fucking day, not anyones help nor anyones pity. I single-handedly weaned off multiple addictions not because I had to but because I wante dto. I have stood MONTHS in isolation scarcely talking to a soul at a time and persevered through a strong Idaho winter with nothing to do except my own will. Accept, that your struggle is your's alone and that ONLY you can do it and no one else can and you will go far. I will be uncommon by my own fucking efforts and drive to be who it is I want to become and I stand because I revel in my ADHD and my genetic difference and I don't make excuses why I fail. Accept you will always Stand Only through your efforts.
3. Revel In Your MIND: One of the biggest problems with many people today, is that they refuse to sit in their own isolation. They feel uncomfortable with their own thoughts and their own inescapable idea that, " What if, I'm not doing enough?". What if your not living your best life. What if that conscience in the back of your mind that you've been ignoring all your life, starts asking you all of the hard questions? What if, you had to face yourself and look at yourself and all of your imperfections. This is the greatest problem of today, is so many people are looking for someone else to fix your life and to give you a crutch to run from your problems. People seek the company of others, because they are constantly running from what's in your mind, You are running from the lies that you tell yourself. Why your a drug addict, Why you fail, Why you make excuses for your own inadequacy's. Hoping for a magical relationship to come and to dispel the darkness will never work and only the awareness and the sickening work ethic to fight the great fight is what matters. No One can save you, stop hiding from that voice, that says that you can be more than what you are. Nothing pisses me off more than the people who deny that voice, in them and they deny it for decades. I did that for the majority of my life and I regret it every single fucking day.
4. Your GOING TO DIE ALONE: One thing, I always remember about John Sonmez, is the idea that you are always going to die alone. He was correct, no one can be with you in the end. You have no company in your mind, no matter how many hugs, kisses or love or even loyalty none of that really matters. You are ALONE with your thoughts and you are directly responsible for what becomes of yourself and where you go. My life outcomes, is directly proportionate to the amount of excuses I make, responsibility take, and management of ADHD is what determines my life. Take it to heart, that you are on this journey alone, you and YOU alone will determine what you get out of this ONE fucking chance, this one moment is all that matters. No one can accompany on your own journey, No one can be their when you take your final breath. Your are totally and absolutely alone in your mind and you are your own company. Only you can love yourself like, yourself No one else can do it. When I realized this , I knew that it was exactly up to me and my own fucking effort to push myself to my limits before I die. When you Die, ask yourself do you want to live a life of obligation dependent upon the expectations of others, or do you want to live your LIFE based on WHAT you want to DO, not what people tell you what you ought to DO.
5. Only YOU CAN DO YOU: The greatest annoyance I get, is when people try to obligate us to the expectation of others and in these moments, we lose the capacity to be FREE of worry, want and desire. This is why I HATE love, love is a delusional fantasy that makes you DEPENDENT on another person and makes you a slave to feelings rather than doing whats best for yourself. I hear people constantly bitching and moaning about being selfish, but that's exactly your Problem, you aren't selfish enough, you aren't watching out for what you WANT. You keep going with the herd, you keep doing what your told, You keep rolling over to the social rules of others, You keep conforming and your not willing to do what YOU WANT TO DO. Guess what guys, their are no fucking rules, in this game of life. Their is no rule that says you have to go to college, no rule that says you have to have kids, no rule that says you have to work for 40 years and then die, No god Damn rule, that tells you what you OUGHT TO DO. You are here only by CHANCE a SLIM luck of fate at a SINGLE moment in time and you can DO whatever you want to do. When we all die, we will not be remembered, we will never exist ever again in the history of the universe. We will cease to exist FOREVER. To many fucking people are so WASTEFUL with thier lives. You will cease forever. Even if you exist on the slim chance, that their is a god, which is their isn't then you better realize, that this is the AFTERLIFE right now. Do what you want to Do, take risks and Fail HARD, you have nothing to lose except death itself.
6. Revel alone and Live Everyday For Death: Too many people, are wasteful with their lives, they are waiting for a crutch, a problem, an answer or something to change their lives but I am here to tell YOU, you don't have TIME to wait, You ARE DYING DAILY, marcus Aurelius, tells us we need to prepare daily for the inevitable reaper to come. REVEL in BEING ALONE but do not despair, despair not in death, despair in living a life of meaninglessness, despair in not having TRYED, despair in not having touched the lives of others. Fight the Great fight and stop crying over being alone, I've alone ALL my life and I REVEL in it. I feel it and I let it encompass me because I am being Who I want TO BECOME, Who I say I am, is what I say I fucking am. I don't need anyone to define me or anything, all that matters is what I DO and I craft myself to my efforts no expectation.
So what are you waiting for? It's time to put on the big boy boots and time to start manning up and taking life by the HORNS, This is your ONE and ONLY chance. Don't waste it or life might fly right past you.