Why ‘why’ is the wrong question, and what to ask instead
Darren Fleming - Author Mindset Mastery
Clear the Mental Clutter - Cut the mental noise, focus on the right things at the right time, and perform without burning out
When you ask a question as to why someone thinks a certain way, the answer you get reinforces their position. This makes it harder for you to move forward. This is death in any negotiation.
Take the objection ‘I can’t buy from you.”
The most common and obvious response to this question is along the lines of, ‘Why not?’, ‘Says who?’
But the answer to that only serves to reinforce the objection. The answer could be as reasonable as “we have a contract with someone else”, through to something as bizarre as “When I was a 5 year old I didn’t get a hug from mum, so I won’t buy from you.’
Whatever the answer, it reinforces their position and makes it harder for you to push ahead. That’s because the challenge goes to the meaning of the sentence.
There is a better way.
Instead of challenging the sentence and the meaning of it, challenge the words used.
- Challenge I - Who here can buy from me? (Maybe they don’t have the budget but someone else does)
- Challenge can’t - what is stopping you? (Is it as systems issue, a managerial directive or laziness?)
- Challenge buy - What would happen if you did? (Is it an accounts issue, stock issue or cashflow issue?)
- Challenge from - Could you buy through our distributor? (Is it a procedural issue?)
- Challenge you - could you buy from my colleague? (Is it a personal or company thing?)
When you challenge the words used it opens up the conversation to a deeper level of information that can then be addressed. This is how you set yourself apart in the market.
Questions are the focus of my new program Deep Questioning. If you’d like to know how your teams can ask better questions to get better information to make more sales, hit reply and let me know.
As always, I’d love your thoughts on this below.
Cheers,
Darren
Great reframing of a simple question, Darren Fleming, really changes the conversation. Will definitely remember to use it!
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5 年Really interesting post to question our deeper objections and how to overcome them. The psychology behind them is that is so fascinating. Thanks for sharing.
Executive Coach - I enjoy helping cyber and tech leaders build their influence and achieve stretch results. Live in Australia and work globally.
5 年That is a great set of questions Darren that affirm the potential buyer instead of invalidating them.
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5 年I agree to this! Asking “why” may challenge the person’s ego quite a bit and that may lead the person to feel uncomfortable opening up.
Non-Executive Director, Sales, Marketing, International Business and Strategy
5 年Great questions you pose. I do think Why is wrong, Toyota has certainly proved it works, what you have done is added alternative probing questions which are great. Thanks for sharing.