Why Would You Dance With The Devil (@ Work)?

Lucifer may wear many different faces at work. The demon may wear a mask of a demanding but untrustworthy boss, highly challenging tasks you think you cannot deal with, a heavy workload, bad company culture or a frustrating work environment. Other aspects could include unfulfilled promises, a lack of important training which you desperately need.. or a combination of all of those factors. Or it could be something completely different.

What does your Devil look like?

Why would you want to dance with him? Not to talk. Not to argue. Not to negotiate or persuade. Just ... dance! Play. Even have fun. Learn. You may authentically enjoy the experience! The privilege of overcoming your own mindset. Breaking through the wall of your own prejudices, assumptions and limitations.

A Polish psychologist developed a well known Theory Of Positive Disintegration. In very simple words it states that to be able to build a new quality (of self), one needs to disintegrate, or almost fall apart in order to build something new. It’s like you want to live within a completely new design of your current house, so you demolish the walls. In order to make more space in the living room, you add a big window to let more light in to see your flourishing plants in the garden. Additionally, you decide to get rid of an old chimney and install an open fireplace to feel cosy during winter. Just painting the walls wouldn’t make the expected change.

To use an example which is more human-centric, consider a guy you met after many years, and instead of an overweight, shabby and clumsy fellow, you face a fit, sporty and handsome man who has a completely new energy. You would be stunned and forced into thinking, “how the hell did he do it?!”

In both examples, something had to be destroyed or abandoned in order to create something new. In the case of the humanistic example, it is clear that apart from rigorous physical work, a huge mental change had to have been done to undergo this drastic shift... As well as to maintain this new quality on a different, yet higher, level.

Your Devil can be your transformation. But only when you dance with it - definitely not when you fight it! If you let this force devastate your old structures as you are learning the new steps, you become a more flexible dancer. Skilful. Strong. Fit. Professional. An athlete, if you will.

    This can only come to fruition when you make a clear, conscious choice. Not when the situation turns you into a marionette. You need to want to do it. To be a winner. Not a meek victim.

This refers not only to work. Yet, as this article talks about work circumstances, let us analyze a few different areas we would typically associate with hell at work. And let us see how we can transform them into stronger leadership skills and higher self-awareness while acquiring completely new skills. The outcome is a much better version of ourselves. If these situations ever happen again in the future, we will easily embrace them as normal step in the dance of (working) life and naturally move forward.

Case One: The heavy workload.

This can basically be the result of intrinsic or extrinsic reasons. Intrinsic is a lack of planning and organizing skills. Go for that extra training and learn from the masters.

Extrinsic reasons are when there are real, objective examples of a badly organized enterprise which demands people to do much more that is manageable. As this is a really interesting case, let us look at how you can benefit from being in this situation:

• You can learn the skill of setting priorities and not doing things which are not EXTREMELY CRUCIAL. Familiar with 20/80 principle? Google it. Now. Apply ASAP. If everything is important, then nothing is. You have to choose. You have to explain why you are not doing other things. You need to choose. Otherwise, sooner or later, you will find yourself burnt out.
• You should look at processes and systems. It’s possible that the problem is more systemic, rooted in an ineffective organization within your company. If you know the relevant solutions - propose them, showcase them and calculate ROI with your coworker from the controlling department. Look for others interested in these solutions, build allies and find support at the top. If you don’t know the solution - jump on a learning curve. Search experts forums online and invite potential providers. Even if nothing happens, you will benefit personally. And you will create a perception in the organization of a proactive and effective individual who goes beyond their own scope of work. Also think of making a good input for succession discussion in your organization!

Case Two: The demanding boss who doesn’t listen but is very smart.

 It’s not always easy to make those who always know better, listen. 

• If the boss in question is intelligent and has proven lots of outstanding business performance, the first positive for you is that you are in a lucky position to work with somebody that you can learn from. So learn. Observe. Ask questions. Understand. Absorb. They will notice. And they will eventually create some space for you to speak.
• If you need to be heard right away, first learn to listen to what matters to your boss. Listen for key words and key needs. When you are asking, you are actually getting there! Then, build your case, including your rationale for things with those smart codes, meanings and objectives that are the key to your boss’ ears. But they have to be relevant, not just a mechanic use of key symbols! You will see it’s working. So - do it!

Case Three: The demanding boss who doesn’t listen. You think they are stupid.

Whether your estimation is right or wrong is always in question. Do not try to discuss it, though, unless it’s somebody really trusted and the reasons are only to vent.

• Go and talk to a coach, the external one to better understand the situation and how this affects you.
• Try to apply the techniques of listening and aligning the described skills above. This may work. You will definitely practice your influence and communication skills.
• But if you are right, and the boss is actually stupid, analyze whether this limits your development. If so, look for other opportunities. You know what to avoid. Do it quickly, do not waste your time!

Case Four: Bad cooperation and atmosphere in your own team.

 If it’s happening, your boss has screwed things up. They may not be aware of the phases of team development (forming, storming, norming, performing) and - quite crucially - the required behaviour of the superior to lead the team through them. They probably are also not masters of conflict resolution and would rather avoid it entirely. They may have not heard of Lencioni’s Dysfunctions of Effective Teams and how to overcome them. What can you do?

• Get familiar with the above approaches. Read, learn and understand where you are. If you are or want to become a leader one day, you will avoid being as ignorant as others.
• Learn to proactively solve difficulties with your peers. Approach them. Ask questions. State positive intentions. Work with your pride and ego. Go beyond it. Who is stronger? The one who doesn’t approach a colleague in difficult situation or the one who does?

Case Five: Tremendous speed of work. Chaos.

If you are in a start-up organization, have just gone through M&A or were bought by a new owner, disruptive TRANSFORMATION can be one of your company’s characteristics. New owners, no clear rules, evolving structures, vague and constantly changing accountabilities, chaotic decision-making ... Familiar with any or all of these challenges? It’s not an easy environment. It is, however, perfect to develop problem-solving skills, adaptability, decisiveness, critical-thinking and experience. Let’s see how to get there.

• Understand where you stand. Decide if you want to face it. It is going to be extremly difficult. Expecially if you are in this for the 1st time. You can learn new skills which can be usable in other life settings, even if you do not plan to work like this for ever. If you don’t see yourself here, leave. ASAP.
• If you stay, change your mindset 180 degrees. Don’t expect a cozy, predictable and stable environment. Prepare for long hours and busy weekends.
• Spot those who have gone through this several times. Talk to them on how to survive. Copy their solutions if relevant.
• Ideally, try to work with the people who have already gone through such pace of working and have competencies of navigating through rapid waves and sharp reefs. Working with those who know makes the learning faster.
• Basically you will have to develop the skill of structuring ambiguity into simple, effective solutions. What can help is agile and design thinking approach. Create simple initial solution, check with your customers if this solves their immediate problems, implement, improve and modify along the run. Warn your customer this will be like this, gain commitment. There's not time for half a year project planning and 12-months-long realisation.
• Develop flexible mindset. Don't get stuck on initial ideas and solutions. Brainstorm new options. Get fascinated by looking for new opportunities.
• Learn to make the decisions with not all the required information available. If you have basis critical thinking skills, this shall help. If not - develop them. How? By asking the right questions, looking at different perspectives, analysing the root causes, talking to people who know something you don't and questioning all the above by 2 simple questions: "does this explain the situation well enough?" and "How do I know this will help to solve the problem?". There are just examples of many technics, which could be a rich material for another articles. Look for the available knowledge and learn! By doing!
• This environment is not for everybody. If you decide not to practice to sail on a stormy water, it's trully okay. It is important though, it is your aware decision.

When I work as a coach and I happen to discuss with the other person the dilemma of “should I stay or should I go?” for any given situation, I always frame it as a simple metaphor of wage. On one side there are your sometimes invisible advantages, gains and benefits of the situation. On the other, remains everything that you may be losing. Become aware of those things. Look at values which are important to you and are fed by those gains and losses. Yes, you heard me. Also the losses. You may miss time with your family, this time is a high value for you. But, a higher value is that you are flying all over the world, which is something you always wanted, or that you are proving yourself in a challenging acquisition opportunity. If this is the case, you will probably want to continue your dance with this devil. Just be aware of what you want, why you want it, what it gives you and why it is important. Reframe your own gains, and make the right decision.

 Dance. Don’t complain.

 If you want to leave though, just bear in mind ...

 ... that ...

 ... just behind the corner....

... another Beelzebub is waiting. 

 Always.

 Although the music may be much nicer. It just depends on what you want.