Why Worrying Won’t Work

“There were many terrible things in my life and most of them never happened.” Michel de Montaigne

Worrying is a natural response to uncertainty and change. It's a way our minds attempt to prepare for the unknown, but often, it does more harm than good. When we worry, we can become consumed by negative thoughts, which can affect our mental and physical health. In fact, worrying can frame a mental reality far worse than lived circumstance. Recently, I experienced this firsthand transitioning across the U.S.

When my family and I moved from the sunny shores of Cali, to the unpredictable weather of the East Coast, I was filled with anxiety. I worried about my kids making new friends and missing their old ones. I wondered how we would adjust to the harsh winters and snow. Despite my fears, we navigated the transition pretty well. My kids made new friends, we adapted to the weather, and we found a new rhythm in our lives. Thank GOD! ????

Here’s what worked for me, and it could work for you!

Focus on the Present

Worrying often stems from imagining worst-case scenarios that may never happen. To combat this, I focused on the present moment. Instead of worrying about whether my kids would make new friends, I focused on helping them adjust to their new school environment, one day at a time. My wife and I encouraged them to get involved in activities where they could meet new people. By concentrating on immediate actions rather than potential problems, I found myself less overwhelmed and more in control.

Embrace the Unknown

Change is inherently uncomfortable, and worrying about the unknown can be paralyzing. I learned to embrace the uncertainty instead of fearing it.

January 2024 I was challenged with a sudden employment change. We had just moved into our home in December, and our youngest child was 1. Being unemployed in a new region and in our new home was daunting, but I saw it as an adventure. Full transparency, that didn’t happen instantly. I am a human being, and the emotional struggle was real! I had to embrace the unknown for the sake of my own mental health.

Ironically, embracing the unknown turned potential stress into exciting new experiences. This shift in perspective helped reduce my anxiety and allowed me to enjoy the transition more fully.

I was interviewing with companies that blew my mind! Having multiple offers skyrocketed my confidence through the roof! I eventually selected a federal job which made all the sense in the world! It just so happens to be the place my mother retired from after 30 years of serving veterans. As a veteran myself, the sense of purpose and fulfillment is everything. When you’re focused on purpose, worry simply can’t survive.

Practice Radical Self-Care

During stressful times, taking care of yourself is crucial. I made self-care a priority by maintaining a regular exercise routine, eating better, and setting aside time for relaxation. More recently, my focus on sleep health has been tremendous! These practices helped me stay grounded and resilient. By nurturing my well-being, I was better equipped to handle the challenges that came my way.

Friend, worrying is a natural part of life, especially during significant changes. However, it doesn’t have to control you. If you’re worrying about tomorrow so much, that it’s stripping away the joy of today, please reassess! All you’re doing is creating a perpetual cycle of habitual anxiety.

You deserve to be better to yourself.

Have a great week!