Why Is Workplace Gratitude So Difficult?
The United Project
NFP charitable foundation uniting our workplaces in the early detection of mental health risks in team environments
World Gratitude Day is celebrated on the 21st of September. In the lead-up to this day, The United Project is sharing a set of articles about gratitude in the workplace. Gratitude is intrinsically linked with mental health. Those organisations with a culture of gratitude have been shown to have safer, happier and more productive environments. We hope these articles will stimulate conversations about the role of gratitude in organisations and ignite ideas for how you can make it come alive in yours.
This article addresses the barriers that hold us back from building cultures based on gratitude. We explore the emotive frictions that prevent us from using the power of gratitude to enable ourselves and others to live up to their full potential.
Why Is Workplace Gratitude So Difficult?
What is holding us back from expressing gratitude at work?
I was shocked to see the statistics showing that 61% of people express gratitude at work twice a year or less, and only 10% express gratitude daily. It must be a truly depressing workplace where people don't share their thanks and appreciation for the assistance they receive. This statistic piqued my curiosity as to why gratitude is not a more normal part of working life. Surely people are expressing thanks to family and friends in their personal lives. So, what is it about the workplace that has them shying away from one of the simplest yet the greatest signs of respect? Spoiler alert – we are about to delve into the murky waters of privilege and fear.
It does not seem like it should be such a big deal to acknowledge the effort and assistance a person provides in the workplace. However, it appears to be so taxing for six out of ten people that they can only bring themselves to do it twice a year. In contrast, a small proportion of employees (10%) practice gratitude daily. What is holding the 61% back from joining the gratitude gang? A search through literature has revealed three key reasons why people may not invest the time and energy in showing gratitude in the workplace. These reasons are:
Let's go through these in more detail and see how it may be possible to reduce the barriers to create happier and healthier workplaces.
Ignorance Of the Impact
Research from the ILR School at Cornell University has shown that some managers believe expressions of gratitude have little effect on the receivers and only make the receiver feel awkward. As a result, managers hold back from showing gratitude. Thanks to the ILR research, this belief has been proven to be faulty. In fact, in a workplace setting, it was shown that people expressing gratitude vastly
People who receive expressions of gratitude are generally much more surprised, less awkward and much more positive about the appreciation than you could ever imagine.
However, because people misjudge the benefits of action, they withhold expressing gratitude, and so lose the opportunity to increase their and their colleagues' wellbeing.
There is also a significant ignorance about the positive flow-on effects that one expression of gratitude can have. Some may believe the gratitude share ends with the receiver. This is far from the truth with Kipfelsberger, Bruch and Herhausen[2] Gratitude does not rest with the receiver but creates an energising cycle that flows across the organisation. showing that positive feedback creates a ripple effect throughout the organisation, improving the overall atmosphere and doubling the likelihood of organisational success. This is because positive feedback such as gratitude affirms and reinforces helpful behaviour and thus allows the employees to identify the things they need to keep doing.
The Energising Cycle of Positive Feedback
Leadership Privilege
Those in leadership positions are generally gifted with many formal powers. While this provides opportunities to create workplaces where people can thrive, it also comes with the risk that this power may turn into an attitude of privilege. The ILR School researchers at Cornell University found power and privilege to be a real barrier to leaders expressing gratitude to their subordinates. They found that higher-power individuals were more likely to feel entitled to receive benefits from their subordinates and did not even feel grateful for the work of others[3]. Because they did not feel it (because of their sense of entitlement), they certainly did not express it. This situation contrasts with those in lower-power positions who faced many more threats in the organisation. They used gratitude to build more interpersonal and supportive relationships.
Interestingly, privilege is not only a barrier to gratitude in the workplace but right across society. There is no clearer example than in racial injustice, where unseen or denied racial privilege is used to prevent movement towards racial equity.[4]
Fear of the Consequences
"There is only love or fear, for we cannot feel these two emotions together, at the same time. They're opposites. If we're in fear, we are not in a place of love. When we're in a place of love, we cannot be in a place of fear." ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
If this wisdom holds, then a key reason why people do not share their appreciation is that they are afraid of the consequences. This may sound ludicrous, but when you dig deeper, expressing gratitude does create a vulnerability[5]. It acknowledges that other people can impact you, and if viewed from a position of insecurity can create concerns about weakness and reliance. We all want to feel and be perceived to be strong and independent. Showing gratitude may bring about fears of creating connections that could leave you vulnerable. And yet, the human connection between the giver and receiver of gratitude leads to reduced stress, increased happiness, and boosts productivity. Without this vulnerability and connection, there is no authentic gratitude, and there is no improvement in wellbeing for either party.
Overcoming the Barriers
Gratitude is a simple and inexpensive method to uplift individuals and energises the whole organisation. There is now a plethora of research confirming the benefits on mood, performance, relationships, creativity, and productivity. And yet the fact that expressing gratitude is a rarity for most people at work suggests there are hidden barriers to making it come alive in workplaces. This article aimed to highlight these obstacles so they can be overcome for the benefit of all.
As we have seen, ignorance of the benefits of gratitude prevents many people from sharing thanks and showing appreciation. Now, this is no longer an excuse. Reading this article, you now know that assumptions you may hold about the receiver feeling awkward or not feeling any real response are mistaken. You can no longer hide gratitude behind concern for the receiver's comfort. And you now know that the other person may truly treasure your gratitude even more than you can imagine. With this awareness, then, comes the responsibility to show your appreciation. Not doing so could be considered a significant act of selfishness.
Positions of leadership come with many privileges. The major one, though, is the honour of using the power granted in the position to help your people thrive and live up to their full potential. Expressing your gratitude is a way that you can achieve this and boost their performance, confidence, sense of safety and belonging. This article shows you that a subconscious sense of entitlement could prevent you from taking this action. Your privilege could inhibit your ability to be the best leader you can be. Bringing consciousness to your behaviours and the beliefs that drive them will give you a different kind of power. This power enables you to transform your and others' lives for the better.
Courage or Comfort?
Nobody likes to think they are afraid, yet we have seen that fear of vulnerability is a real barrier to the growth of gratitude in workplaces. With this insight, you can now ask yourself what might be holding you back from opening your heart and connecting with people who help you. If you seek to influence others to be their best, then whether you like it or not, you will need to create open, authentic and trusting relationships. Gratitude is a gateway to positive and productive relationships. To pass through, all you need is courage. If gratitude is not something you practice regularly in your workplace, the first few experiments may feel uncomfortable and clumsy. But as Brene Brown says:
领英推荐
“We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can't have both.”
Building a culture of gratitude requires us to understand and even challenge the beliefs, emotions and behaviours holding us back. With courage, we can move away from ignorance, entitlement, and fear and towards understanding, humility and compassion. And with the power of gratitude, we can inspire and influence a safe, productive, uplifting and mentally healthy workplace for all our people.
This article has been written by Belinda Tobin, Chief Strategy Officer at The United Project.?Belinda Tobin | LinkedIn
Resources
Gratitude At work – a Canadian organisation, founded by Steve Foran
Blueprint for Mentally Healthy Workplaces?from the Australian National Mental Health Commission
The Greater Good Magazine?from the University of California, Berkeley
About The United Project
The United Project Foundation was formed in 2020 in response to the growing rise of mental ill-health in workplaces and teams, exacerbated by the impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic and the exponential growth of technological disruption. These events have highlighted that while our time at work represents the lifeline to our existence, security, and prosperity, it can also be a major source of anxiety, stress, and depression. The statistics are heartbreaking - 84% of all suicides worldwide occur in the working age population, and 63% of employed Australians report that workplaces have harmed their mental health.
The United Project has embarked on developing programs to combat this trend directly within our workplaces. We are taking a proactive approach and developing strategies and tools to assist with the early identification and prevention of mental health risks in workplaces and teams. Just as miners once took canaries into coal mines to detect toxic gases early, we see our role as the canary in the organisation, establishing a safe environment that allows everyone to thrive.
A mentally healthy workplace leads to improved productivity, lower staff turnover and the retention of skills and experience. Comparatively, a mentally unhealthy workplace can lead to increased stress for employees (and employers), disengagement and reduced productivity. We have set out to deliver programs that will make teams and workplaces safer for the individuals within them and assist the organisation and its people in living up to their full potential.
We are called The United Project because our tools and programs bring together individuals, teams, and organisations to deliver safe and productive workplaces. We work across the globe to unite our partners in driving systemic change.
We Are Grateful
We are thankful for the time you have taken to read this article and for the energy you bring into making your workplace one where people are safe and can thrive. We are also deeply appreciative of our volunteers and supporters. The United Project is driven by a team of passionate volunteers, and our work is supported by people like you – who care about creating environments that are psychologically safe, inclusive, and supportive for all staff. If you have enjoyed this article and would like to help us continue our work, then your donations will be received with immense gratitude.
References
[1] Kumar A, Epley N. Undervaluing Gratitude: Expressers Misunderstand the Consequences of Showing Appreciation. Psychological Science. 2018;29(9):1423-1435. doi:10.1177/0956797618772506
[2] Kipfelsber P., Bruch H. and Herhausen D. 2015. Energizing Companies through Customer Compliments.?Marketing Review St Gallen. Vol 1.