Why Work-Life Integration Is The New Norm

Life is not neat; it can be messy. There is no such thing as 50-50. Life can include career and family.

I’m 57 years old and in my generation, it wasn’t a given for a woman to work. I was the Peggy Olson from Mad Men: For the most part, I was the exception to the rule in my kids’ school. Today, it’s quite normal to have two working parents.

Still, people ask me all the time, ‘How did you do it?’ I raised my three children while being married to a doctor and pioneering online technology at the same time. The short answer is, it’s not easy, but it is doable. Maybe not in the classic textbook way, but definitely in the way that worked for us. Hardly perfect, but who is to say what perfection is? It was perfect for us.

My husband and I made a conscious decision early on that if we were both to have careers, we would both need to share the responsibility. We did not have traditional mother-father roles; we were co-parents. Rather, we divided and conquered together with lots of calendar coordination along the way. If one of us had to travel for work, we made sure the other was home. Our kids didn’t care who was home as long as one of us was there, and we never missed the important moments.

You only have one life, so I don’t believe in separating work from the rest of your life. I involved my kids in my career, showing them presentations and asking for their opinions, taking them on business trips when I could because real-life experiences can’t be learned in a classroom, and bringing them into the office so they were like family to my colleagues.

Bringing your kids to the office is a stepping stone for normalizing caregiving in the workplace for both men and women. Plus, helping kids experience what their parents do and giving them exposure to the work world can have a big influence.

Working moms especially may have a positive impact on advancing equality for the next generation. Daughters of working mothers are more likely to be managers and make more money than daughters of stay-at-home moms, and sons of working moms spend more time on childcare and household duties, according to the Harvard Business School.

I asked my kids their thoughts about having two working parents. Here is what they shared:

Be there for what matters most

“My mom always asked me to tell her what was important to me, and told me that she would never miss anything that was important to me, whether it was tucking me into bed, going to a school play, or showing up for my volleyball games. It’s about balance, and you have to make some compromises.” ~Niki, 24 years old

Create boundaries and rituals

“Respect for each other and encouraging your partner to be their best selves is one of the most important aspects of a healthy relationship. My biggest takeaway is that both of my parents were able to set their boundaries between work/life balance and were always true in sticking to it. There were certain things—whether it be my baseball games or Sunday night dinners at our favorite restaurant—that were non-negotiable that my parents would never miss.”

~Alex, 27

Women belong everywhere

“Societal norms are changing now. I’m graduating college this year. On campus the message is clear that women should take a dominant role in all aspects of society, and not just in business. I think guys my age really respect women who can speak up and lead as well as follow.”

~Jake, 22

Co-parenting is the new norm

“With people in my generation, I see an encouragement for women to continue working. We’re moving towards a society where couples are having a more equal partnership, so women don’t have to step out of their careers when they have kids. I do think there is still this stereotype that the man is the provider, but the shift to co-parenting roles is getting better day by day.”

~Niki

Partnership starts at home

“I think our generation has become a lot more understanding and leaned in to the concept of equal footing, but also understanding that the individuals in a partnership each have their own inherent strengths... and also passions. Strengths are important to embrace and cultivate in order to help set individual responsibilities for yourself and your partner, but if you can support your partner’s (and kids’) passions while also managing daily routines, that’s the key that we all need to find.”

~Alex

Confidence is beautiful

“When I get married, I would want my wife to do whatever she wants, but I’d be happy for her to work. I learned from my mom, and I look for women with leadership skills.”

~Jake

For me, pursuing my career made me a more fulfilled person, which I think made me a better mother. Taking your kids to work and involving them in your career can help inspire them to follow their passions and own their strengths—as well as advance equality at work and home. At the end of the day, no matter what I achieve at work, my children will always be my greatest success.

This article was originally published on FORBES.