Why Words Matter, & How to Use Them.

Why Words Matter, & How to Use Them.

We use them every single day. Whether it’s at work, in a store, or at home, we use words to function in nearly all that we do. Words allow our superiors to direct us and empower us to further the goals of the company, our own careers and professional development. They allow us to effectively communicate precisely what we need to an associate while shopping in a retail or service store. And of course, words are how we attempt to explain, discuss, or reason with our loved ones at home or with friends in our communities. Words are often taken for granted, most of us (the fortunate ones) have had the opportunity to simply learn our words and how to write them while we grow as children. We call it language. But words, like any other tool we use, can only be as effective as the person using them. A hammer in the hands of a carpenter can produce beautiful structures of art, while a hammer in the hands of the untrained can only destroy. A knife in the hands of a trained chef can create culinary marvels worthy of the consumers top dollar, but a knife in the hands of the inexperienced can ruin the recipes ingredients. Words produced by a person who can be articulate, literate, and clear in any chosen method of communication can guide, teach, and inspire others. However, words from one who is not careful or thoughtful while communicating, can only hope to confuse, misguide, and potentially irritate or even anger those around them. Words, like a hammer or a knife, possess the ability to create or destroy. And like all tools need to be wielded by those who are well trained in their use.

Why is communication needed?

Many of the words we utter are reactionary. They come in the form of a controlled outburst normally after another person speaks or after something interesting is witnessed. When we speak in this entirely normal manner our words are primarily focused on the what. We wish to quickly respond to what someone just said or to bring attention to what we just witnessed outside or online. This concept on its own is not entirely a negative event in terms of productivity, but instead a simply less effective way to communicate. Sure, you may get a point across especially if your words of choice hold accuracy. But the rate in which others receive the words clearly is a variable that cannot be predicted when we respond in focus of merely what we hear or see. This is due to the lack of intent in our words.

To use a hammer without a blueprint will likely produce nothing of use. Likewise, the use of a knife absent a recipe will not produce the things needed to create a delicious meal. When a carpenter reached into the toolbox in search of a hammer, there was a reason. The reason if worthwhile, is likely not spontaneous. If it was, we could stand to express some concern for where that hammer might go. What it may impact. The carpenter reached for the hammer, not because of what needs a good whack, but because the blueprint for the project stated the next step required a hammer. The blueprint provides intent to the carpenter, and therefore a reason why a hammer is to be used next. Words should be prepared in the same fashion. Just as the carpenter prepared to continue the job with a hammer knowing why the hammer was the correct tool, we should ready our words with consideration of why we wish to speak them.

Imagine the carpenters boss showed up to the construction site and noticed a bucket of nails too close to the road. Urgently concerned the bucket could be spilled and potentially damaged a motorist’s tires, the carpenter’s boss quickly exclaims “Please get this bucket of nails moved somewhere else right away!” The carpenter, hearing the urgency in the boss’s voice jumps to action and quickly moves the bucket. To the other side of the road. Not a very effective solution to the problem the carpenters boss identified. This is because the carpenters boss focused on the what when forming words and not the why, the intent. Imagine the same scenario but instead when the carpenters boss notices the bucket of nails, urgency is placed on the situation but so is thought. Consideration of what the desired outcome is takes place instead of all the attention forwarded to what could happen if action is not swift. Once the desired outcome is identified the carpenters boss states “Before this bucket of nails spills and potentially damages a motorist’s tire, please move it somewhere else.” This time the carpenter hears the request and moves the bucket of nails next to the toolbox and away from the road. The carpenter’s boss had a vision of what needed to be done, and since the reason why was identified prior to speaking what the words were to prevent, the carpenter was able to achieve that vision to reality. This is because the first thing the carpenter heard was the reason why the carpenter’s boss was forming words, followed by what the words were to achieve. Simply knowing the intentions of our words before using them can have a profound impact on our ability to effectively communicate.

How will it be done?

Much of what we do in a professional sense is completed in a method or procedure provided to us. For example, the chef knows to always ensure that at no time any cross contamination can or will occur in the kitchen. The chef accomplishes this by always storing raw products away from fresh products, utilizing separate prep stations for each type of product, and by making frequent use of gloves and hand washing stations. The question here is how does the chef know to do any of these things?

Learned, written, and verbal procedure. It’s a lot of what keeps structure within an organization. When provided in a clear and concise format, procedures keep people out of trouble. They keep us safe on a construction site. They keep us, for the most part, from physically contacting another motorist on the roadway. And they keep the chef from cross contaminating food that could provide the evenings diners with a round of food poisoning.

Imagine a new chef arrived at work on the first day and the head chef went over how things were done in this particular kitchen. The head chef verbally touched on a few topics like being on time, not overtaking breaks, and not burning or undercooking any food. ?The head chef then stated “Also clean up after yourself and stay organized. I don’t allow cross contamination in my kitchen.” The new chef nodded in understanding and went to work. Little breaks were taken, food was cooked to order, and the new chef ensured to wipe down counter tops as the night went on. Suddenly a plate the new chef had sent out a few minutes ago returned to the kitchen and the waiter said the customer had fallen ill. This was not good. Soon another plate returned with a similar story. Not again. And then a third and final plate returned to the kitchen along with another story of the customer’s now poor condition. Examining the plates, the new chef noticed all three were loaded with salads from her prep station. The head chef learned of the situation and as one could imagine, came down rather harshly on the new chef. But the new chef in her defense was very confused. She had been on time. She took very little breaks and made the salads correctly to order. She also made certain her salad prep station was wiped down and cleaned frequently. The head chef then said “Why are raw products next to your salad prep station? And where are your gloves?” In this scenario the head chef will likely place blame on the new chef. And that could carry some degree of accuracy as a chef with some experience ought to know how to safely handle raw or fresh products. From the standpoint of effective language and proper use of words, the head chef could arguably share in this blame. The new chef did, after all, adhere to the head chef’s directions as they were given.

Imagine now the new chef appears on the first day, and the head chef is explaining how to operate in the kitchen. When they arrive at the part where cross contamination is discussed, the head chef states “We take great care to never allow our guests to become food poisoned from cross contamination. To achieve this, I expect you to clean up after yourself, be mindful of where your raw and fresh products are, use gloves frequently and wash your hands often. Especially between handling a raw and fresh product.” This time the new chef has some substantial information. While the head chef’s intent was the same as before, the new chef was provided with a very important piece of information. How to achieve the head chef’s intent.

When communicating with others, ensuring that those on the receiving end of our words know why we are speaking is important. But when our words are to ensure the other person can properly achieve the reason why we are speaking to them, like not poisoning a guest in the restaurant, it is equally important to communicate how to navigate the path to the desired end state or intent. When providing directions to someone, it is important to first and foremost identify the why or intent. This is the vision the head chef would have had in the preceding example; “To never allow our guests to become food poisoned.” Following the why the head chef needs to communicate how the new chef could hope to ensure the why becomes the reality. This is when the head chef can describe the mission that will achieve the already determined vision; “Clean up after yourself, be mindful of where your raw and fresh products are, used gloves frequently and wash your hands often.” With these important pieces of the head chef’s communication delivered in this specific order, first why (vision) then How (mission), the new chef knows not only where to go but how exactly to get there.

What is the result?

A theme may have been noticed throughout this article titled “Why Words Matter & How to Use Them.” Why (the vision and intent) was the first element of effective communication examined as it should always arrive first in the conversation just as it does in the title of this article. Those on the receiving end need to know why someone is speaking to them, why the conversation is necessary, and not least of all why it matters. The next element of effective communication examined, just as it should arrived next in a conversation and as it does arrive next in the title of this article is how (mission and steps) to accomplish the preceding why. Those on the receiving end of a conversation need to know how to achieve the intended vision from the one speaking.

No different than the carpenter who identified why a hammer was the next tool needed and learned how to properly use it. Or the chef who identified why care must be taken in the kitchen and learned how to properly ensure such care is taken. One must identify why a conversation needs to happen and explain how those on the receiving end of the conversation can hope to achieve the desired outcome. That desired outcome, by the way, is not by chance the what.?