Why won't my depression end?
This is an example of the many types of questions, I am often asked by LinkedIners, some Facebook Friends, etc. Although I am no doctor, I do have experience from both perspectives of the term mental health and depression. 1.) Being that I have been dealing with mental health personally since young age (depression, anxiety, and PTSD.) 2.) I was also a registered Peer Support Worker and a registered mental health counselor previously, so I hope my answer to this question, that I have often asked myself the same helps.
I’m not sure how long you’ve had depression for, but speaking as a 55 year old, who’s dealt with it for years now, I can guarantee you, you are not alone.
I am no doctor, but having had therapy for years and the constant struggle of not being as happy as my peers, ate me up as I’m sure it does for you too.
I remember being every age up from 10 and hoping I could just feel a balance, a sense of ‘normal’.
I’ve been in therapy with different therapists for years now, and in a lot of ways I feel less depressed, but nonetheless it will always be apart of me.
Some days, my biggest battle is leaving my bed- not because I hate myself , but because I shouldn’t have stayed up that extra hour on my cell phone checking Instagram, etc.
Other days I find I have no appetite, because of my depression. Some days I find myself isolating at school- because I don’t want to get close to people.
One day, the hardest parts of your life will to reduce and to minimize, and even then, they might feel annoying to deal with. I have been always told that no matter what in life, one problem is switched for another.
Depression can magnify even the littlest of things, and trust me, I know this. I was in the bank just the other day an I was trying to figure out why, there appeared to be $12 to the negative in my account statement. I hyperventilated and almost passed out, because I had a terrible anxiety attack.
I got weird looks from other customers and staff members of the bank, when I calmed down and was walking out of the bank (stigmas working against me in all its glory.)
It felt like law of attraction in the worst way possible, but the struggles I’ve endured my earliest years of depression, have helped me strengthen myself as an adult. Day to day, I deal with social anxiety and I find it hard to let my guard down for some people, but ultimately, you end up growing into yourself. I am not saying depression is cured, as there will be moments you won't believe are happening to you and you’re on top of the world, and then you will find yourself sad once again.
But it is something worth allowing yourself the opportunity to experience.
If you are in therapy, or taking medication, the medication takes 2 months to work (most commonly) and you will feel frustrated, and angry, it will be stressful, but when it works, you will feel that there is a normal balance somewhat. At least, you won’t feel intense feelings constantly.
If you do not participate in either of those functions, try to set a goal list for the week.
- Something you need to do??
- Something you’d like to do??
- Something you’d never do??
- Something to help someone else??
- Something to help yourself??
Start small, and find new ways to grow, a hobby can be beneficial, as I’ve found writing was the best outlet for me during my depression’s beginning. Work on yourself ultimately, and treat yourself kindly, because you will be there for yourself the whole way through life’s journey.
When I was 10, I didn’t see the reasoning why life could be important, but there is a myriad of reasons why we are here.
Mosaics must be broken before they create something beautiful, don’t let time pass you by too quickly, breathe in the air- love the sun.