Why won't men engage with wellbeing initiatives?

How do we get men to engage with our wellbeing initiatives?

It's one of the most common questions I've been asked this year by the L&D/Wellbeing leads I serve.

"We delivered some great initiatives but why the low take-up from men? And why won't men talk?"

MEN DO TALK and if you don't believe me, I personally invite you to The Dog pub in Bearwood on a Friday night at 7.00pm, to come and observe my footy mates after our game of Friday football. We talk about anything and everything, from the trivial stuff, to the gut-wrenching, marital break up, job insecurity and kids driving us round the bend!

It's a myth that men don't talk.

• We talk if we feel safe because we're in trusted company.
• We talk if we can sense that others also open up in this particular circle.
• We talk if we believe we won't be gossiped about, belittled, ignored or patronised.
• We talk if there is no pressure on us to talk: thus it feels natural rather than contrived or forced.

To safeguard men's mental health in the workplace and deliver initiatives which truly engage them, it starts with asking challenging questions about our organisations:

1)???What are the barriers/prejudices/stigmas within our organisation which might hold men back from opening-up in general?

2)???What is the language we need to speak, in order to engage the people, we most need to engage?

3)???How do we inspire men to be the best version of themselves???

There are no quick and easy answers, but I have a few suggestions to help get the ball rolling.

-??????Men’s Networks: where men can connect, build relationships, talk in an open setting and have fun, whether it’s simply a social vibe or whether there is more of a purpose such as volunteering, or sport as part of the connecting.

-?????Psychological Safety: where people are safe to be open, transparent, vulnerable. Psychological safety is a trending buzzword in leadership and HR circles, but on an operational and day-today basis, do people really understand what it is and how to create it?

(On a recent burnout webinar, I delivered for 60 middle managers within an NHS trust last month, only one person (from an HR role) could correctly define psychological safety. It’s up to leadership to take the lead in creating psychological safety, so that at all levels, people understand what it is, why it matters and how to create it.)

-?????The quick and easy wins on a micro level: ... like the team leader, working in a male-dominated, warehouse environment. He wanted to create a learning focussed and high-performing team, so as part of his strategy, he initiated fortnightly lunch meetings with his team, in order to eat together, watch a TED talk and discuss it. Sometimes the choice of TED talk was random, sometimes people would make recommendations and requests, but the act of meeting with food, in order to watch a TED talk and share respectful debate and discuss ideas, helped to create a team culture of learning, curiosity and mutual respect. A simple idea, which wouldn’t necessarily create change or be welcome in every team, but for his team, was an important component of changing team culture.

Men's networks, psychological safety and quick and easy wins: they're not the full picture in promoting men's mental health, but certainly a good start!

I'd love to know what's been working for you and whether you have active men's networks in your organisation.

1) Connect with me here on Linkedin

2) Click here to find out more about me, the people I serve and my men's mental health work (and also my other speaking topics, including; burnout, resilience imposter syndrome, decision making and mastery of time)