Why Women Only? (and the powerful case for female-only spaces & support)...

So I've been posting daily on LinkedIn for 203 days (yes... I'm all about consistency so I count these things) and it's been an education - but not in the ways that I could have ever predicted!

I've made some fab sales

I've gone viral once I think

I've met people from all over the world that I would never have met if not for this fabulous platform. And there are so many incredible questions and opportunities available that they make you giddy

Now I get asked a lot of questions about what I do, but the one question that has come up more than any other isn't even about what I do - but more about who I serve.

Why I am focused on serving women, seems to be an endless source of fascination, and I honestly find it a little confusing. I ended up having two conversations in the last few weeks that have surprised me and since I put fingers to keys often, I thought it would be useful to have a place to put this down in writing once and for all - so for today's #SaturdayServing, I'm talking female focused solutions, why they matter and the power of sisterhood.

It's a Woman's life

They used to say 'It's a dog's life' when trying to describe an unfortunate state of being... But I call B.S on that straight away. I see humans pick up dog crap in the park on a daily basis, dogs get food practically on demand, and many a human is more affectionate with their dogs with cuddles and kisses than they do with their spouses (and are more concerned about their welfare too), so dogs seem to have it pretty cushty.

Women on the other hand, have it, well let's just say interesting. But don't let me tell you, I will let an incredible woman and client who engaged on my post earlier today tell you a bit more about it:

Being a woman is not always easy — there's so much for us to do. We have stereotypes to break, jobs to excel at, families to care for, lives to lead, friends to hang out with and the world to run.

Sometimes we are too busy making sure everything gets done so we forget to remember to accept who we are

Corinne Guehenneux

She's not wrong - the life of a woman is uniquely challenged in our modern version of society, and with social cues and gender roles implanted in our minds and psyches from such an early age - there is a lot to contend with. And that feeds into all aspects of our lives, from work, to career, family and business too.

Origins

Now I had a few key seeds that started me on this path to supporting women. From my mum's cancer diagnosis and that fun-filled situation of watching her leave chemotherapy to go and service client needs, to my own experience at a business conference where the guys in the break ran for the croissants, and the women ran to the toilets to phone home and ask about homework, food and laundry.

The burdens are heavy - and different.

And I'm never one to speak in terms of the language of disadvantage, but I'm passionate about women succeeding everywhere that's important to them but the Boys Business B.S peddled by all the famous one through their bro-hustle testosterone lens, is not cutting it for women and is leaving them shattered, and borderline crazy.

So when I realised that the business goo-roos peddling magic formulae kept forgetting to tell us that they had a wife at home, preparing meals, dealing with children and making a mental and physical runway to enable them the space and time to pursue their businesses, and that women don't always get the same support (sometimes they do, but often they don't), I knew that we needed a different solution. I knew there had to be a different way, and I was determined to find it.

They were some of the seeds that started what has become my business focused on systems and leverage and giving women the edge in their own paradigm and the reality of their real lives

Offensive Undertones

And yet the guys come calling.

I'm a very no-nonsense person, and it appeals massively to guys... I've told them I'm not for them and yet they keep coming. Fair play - they know a good thing when they see it and are so much faster at making decisions and wanting to show you the money, it's so much more tempting.

But I keep meeting women who give off this air of superiority, like working solely with or for other women was beneath them. And that they would have little in common with women working in the creative industries or selling products on Etsy. And it makes me smile. (Especially because someone who is trying to feel superior clearly feels in someway inferior, but also because neither are true).

Now I'll sidebar this and say that for years I felt the same, because women only spaces were full of pink (not my colour), and sparkles (love them, but in the right places), and lots about feelings and values but very little about results and cash and they talked a lot in terms I didn't understand (like about money getting in the way of their service, in their businesses??), and I'm not about that life... so I shunned such environments like the plague, because they were not for me. But that didn't mean that I didn't see that there was value in those spaces, I just knew that I'd have to do it differently.

Now I'm not about to bash anyone, but I will say that that sense of self-loathing is the patriarchy in your brain telling you that your masculinised version of success is what validates you. I'm not in need of any phallic validation, and if serving both men and women floats your boat and is part of your mission, more power to you. Your business is no better because it's not based around arts and crafts or has customers with penises.

Money's money. And the principles to make a business successful have an element of universality about them, although they do need to be applied contextually. So I would advise a little caution on that particular focus and paradigm, as it's you buying into the lies we've been told about what it means to be successful - and those lies are not designed to help us

It's the same women who would take offense to the idea of 'thriving like a girl' - but that's another story for another time, like I said... it's usually the women who shun and reject only working with women as though they have something to prove.

Yes, working with men would probably make me more money, and faster too - but thankfully, that's not all that's important to me about my vision and mission and so that's not going to be enough to change my mind.

There is something unique and powerful about women-only spaces and I was reminded of that power just yesterday morning.

The Power of Sisterhood

I had the pleasure and privilege of spending my morning led by two incredible women. Diana Osagie launched the ground breaking Academy of Women's Leadership with a power packed keynote speech from Michelle Griffith Robinson, Olympian, former Commonwealth record-holder and general queen of bada*ssery.

The atmosphere was electric, and both women just lifted and encouraged the hell out of the women in the room.

They needed that space. To hear another woman's journey of highs and lows, triumphs and tribulations, told with authenticity and unapologetically.

There were references that only women would understand, and everyone on the call resonated in full. It was empowering and uplifting, and even in my role as a Curriculum Designer, Session facilitator and coach on the ground breaking programme - I was so inspired to hear Michelle advocate for women to truly invest in themselves as a primary focus, not an after thought.

She encouraged the women to:

• Say No Early
• Rise and Leave the naysayers in the sparkles of your action and success
• Get the help you need, whatever form it takes (therapy included)
• Ensure that you know who is in your corner, who holds your values, who is your support system
• 'You know where to find me', Michelle ended - 'Make sure that 'you find you'

The academy opens it's doors for joining the January 2021 cohort soon - with less than 40 spaces left. If you are new to leadership and want to be inspired, upskilled and equipped, join an upcoming discovery webinar with Diana to find out more now.

Be sure to follow the hashtag #AcademyWomensLeadership to follow updates and to find out more on how the 1st cohort is getting on.

For Women Only

So in conclusion... women only spaces are not only necessary -but should absolutely be held as sacred if they encourage authenticity, support and improvement of the women in question. They are not a sign of weakness, inferiority, man-hating, or any other false account given where men are excluded.

Even in the business world... start-up support is different from scale-up support. Digital support differs than that of bricks-and-mortar businesses. Life for women, or black people, differs from those of men, or non-black people, and if any of that plays into their business building experience or chance for success, then it must be supported differently, or the wastage of hopes and dreams could be really harmful.

Spaces designed to uplift and support women, do not diminish or disadvantage men, just like a focus on blackness isn't disparaging of whiteness. On the contrary - a well supported woman, given all the roles she plays in her broader life would absolutely be of benefit to all, including the men in and around their lives, and that's not a good enough reason... they are valid even if the woman is the only beneficiary - but that is rarely if ever the case.

The fact is that men have so many structural and social advantages in business, that women need as many opportunities and advantages created for them as we can get. It's totally my intention to be one of those secret weapons for women. And that's no less worthy, 'hardcore' or successful... it's paradigm changing and the honour of each and everyone of us called to support in this space.

The fact is for my self directed content and programmes, I cannot stop anyone from purchasing them, but there is real power in creating a space for women. It's part of the tools in their success box, and I for one am all about

Strong women, may we know them, may we support them, may we raise them.