Why Women Are More Prone To Burnout Than Men?

The masculine and feminine are like bird wings; together, they raise the world - Marie-Laure Will.

How many women do you know disclosed having been through burnout? How many men? How come more women are prone to burnout than men? Is it a weakness, a fragility due to emotions, a lack of boundaries, or a desire to please or be recognized? Is it a default setting within women that leads to burnout?

Of course not. I sincerely believe that women experience more burnout because they are misaligned with their feminine energies and qualities. I speak of experience. For many years, I was frustrated and angry at the man's world we live in and how unfair it is to women. In this world, mainly masculine energies and qualities are praised, like control, power, distance, critical thinking, independence, structure, logic, speed, or intellect (source: Déployer sa puissance de femme, Marie-Laure Will, Eyrolles Poche). Lately, I understood that my anger was turned inward to my lack of embracing and deploying my feminine energies. When I want to control everything, cut my capacity to bond, be soft, experience my emotions, follow my intuition, express compassion, be sensual without risks, and offer flexibility without abuse, I'm drained and burnt out. I'm trying to be someone I'm not.

Why Women Are More Prone to Burnout?

Women are prone to burnout not out of weakness or lack of boundaries; they are simply out of balance with their innate women energies. In a few words, we live in a world where masculine energies are praised and serve as guidelines to assess worth and performance. Women, in the workspace and at home, understand that invisible paradigm and try to abide by it. In the process, they lose the connection to who they are deeply. Let's explore in more detail what it means. This article is inspired by Marie-Laure Will's book: Déployer sa puissance de femme. Libérez vos 9 énergies essentielles. Eyrolles Poche.

Too much control, not enough receptivity

In today's world, we value doing to have. We work, running from task to task, to earn status and money to buy a car, a house, clothes, or accessories that will show how great a person we are. Women do many chores at home to have things done. We live in the second and third circles that are primarily masculine energies. When we try to solve problems through doing, we are guided by the intellect, the mind. We are disconnected from being: being connected to our deep desires and our body's needs in a given instant, like a break, time to think, digest, or process emotions.

Women learned to do, set up, act, structure, or excel at home and work. They fell into the trap of controlling everything, moving ever slightly from their innate capacity to receive, feel, listen deeply, and let go.

To be receptive is to be present to oneself (circle 1), feeling what we want to infuse our actions (circle 2) with meaning and direction, and building a project that will glean its fruits (circle 3). In Chinese medicine, the Yin is the capacity to receive by opposition to doing, Yang.

Receptivity is the fundamental feminine energy at the root of all the others. Women are tuned to their inner world, nature's cycles and vibrations, and people's emotions. In the workplace, sensing signals from the market, colleagues, or clients is critical to adapting to the volatility of our modern world.

Too much force, not enough softness

In a fast-paced, volatile world, we push through the long to-do list at work and home. If we don't, we are so behind that there isn't a natural choice other than forcing our way through. It is draining to say the list. There is barely time for a break or a reflection. How many clients tell me they need more time to practice a skill between coaching sessions? It reveals our habit of doing too much, not having time to sense what our being needs.

Force is beneficial when we need to motivate the troops, whether in the family when waking up kids or a misaligned team. When it becomes the standard process to journey through the day, it fosters imbalance that can lead to burnout (for women and men alike). Force deploys its qualities when paired with softness. When you can listen when needing a break, you provide a space to breathe and recover, leading to smarter work afterward.

Softness is a touch of delicate pleasure. Using a soft start-up when asking for something from someone instead of barking an order is motivating. It avoids retaliation or resistance, as no one likes to feel like a button to push. Being soft with oneself helps us perform better as it shushes down the sabotaging voice, pushing us beyond what is reasonable. We often come up with compelling thoughts produced by our monkey mind, the one spinning our wheel. During a disagreement, being soft with the other's different perspective eases into listening better its meaning rather than forcing our point of view.

Balance Is The Solution To Burnout

Masculine and feminine qualities offer balance. The balance between the two polarities provides the opportunity to do until it is too much, to break until it is enough to produce quality work in a reasonable time. There is no need for external motivation (manager or parents); the energy flows, and inspiration comes from within.

I want to be a catalyst for women and men, but I feel more credible with women to help them reconnect to their innate qualities and energies. I see it as reconnecting to their feminine mindset.

Please feel free to reach out to me to learn more about what is cooking.

Sara Bigwood

Feminine-Mindset Coach