Why Women Doubt Themselves and Why #BalanceForBetter Is a Critical Weapon Against Imposter Syndrome

The first study of what's known as The Impostor Phenomenon was in 1978, conducted by Drs. Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes.

Their original study focused on 150 high-achieving women, all of whom had objectively accomplished big things, won awards, been peer-recognized for their work, and been published.

Yet 70% of them still felt as though their success was due to some kind of luck or favor from others and that people would soon find out that they weren't nearly as qualified as they appeared to be.

Since that time, we've learned that these feelings aren't exclusive to women by any stretch, but they're still incredibly pervasive among female-identifying humans. Some of my initial research into the digital side of this phenomenon is that self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy are deeply entrenched among women especially.

Why IS that?

First and foremost is our emphasis on achievement culture.

We're taught at a young age that we should do more. Get good grades, get into AP classes and go to ivy-league schools. Good at sports? Join JV. Varsity. Collegiate. The olympics.

And at work? Get promoted, climb the ladder, and whatever you do don't stop the momentum by doing things like having kids.

The trick? There's never a finish line. Never a "super job, stop right there, that's great just keep doing what you're doing." The demand to do more, be more and contribute more never ends, and so we constantly hear the message that we are not enough as we are.

We're also wired to please (and criticized for assertiveness).

Women have long been known as the caretakers, the nurturers, and the people who exist to serve others.

Whether we're parents or not, women are looked to as the ones who understand how to empathize, how to soothe, how to guide, how to care for people. And yet when it comes to our professional lives, those skills aren't "hard" enough to be valued in the business world.

While men are rewarded for their aggressiveness and bravado, women are labeled as pushy, bitchy, or my favorite "shrill" when we stand in places of assertiveness...especially on our own behalf.

Then we look around us online...and it gets worse.

The age of the internet is powerful, but it can also create a sort of 24/7/365 environment for constantly comparing ourselves not just to our known friends or colleagues, but every stranger on the web.

And as we participate online, we also open ourselves and our work up to judgment, commentary, and the dreaded "mansplaining" from those who are empowered behind keyboard anonymity to say things they would never say in person.

Add to that how easy it is to look at other people's filtered, cropped, and perfectly-posed lives while we look around at the reality of our messy, complicated existence, and it's not hard to see why women often feel like we're simply never enough. Of anything.

It's a difficult recipe, and it can be a damaging one.

#BalanceForBetter is part of the solution.

One powerful reason that gender representation and equality in the workplace is so critical is that seeing people who look like us, struggle like us, and live our same unique mix of complicated demands is absolutely essential for us to be able to step into our best work.

We can't be in our most powerful place when we feel like we're always trying to keep up, do more, "lean in"...and yet we still don't see ourselves represented at the tables that matter in the professional world.

As a woman in tech, I've been the sole woman in board rooms, the sole woman on executive teams, and one of very few female speakers at industry events on important topics.

It's isolating, and instead of feeling like we can take risks to stand up and stand out and advance our place in tomorrow's workplace, we always feel like we have to protect the place we have right now because we might not get another shot.

Today, on #IWD2019, I hope we'll all renew our commitment to bringing smart, creative, capable and diverse women into our work circles, onto our teams, into our projects, and into our lives. Not just today on a token day of recognition, but every day so we can create a professional world that looks much more like the beautiful mosaic that the real world represents.

And to all of my powerful ladies who have been feeling like they're faking it as they go:

You are the real deal.

You are enough. Not just today, but everyday, in the place where you stand.

Your gifts and unique perspectives matter, and we need your voices and ideas.

With the help of our allies, we will change the ratio, and as we do, we'll dismantle these doubt- and shame-related narratives we've learned brick by brick.

But we'll have to do it together, and we have to start today. Are you in?

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Watch my latest keynote on imposter syndrome in a hyperconnected world over at ambernaslund.com. And be sure to subscribe to The Real Deal series at the top of this post!