Why are women called aggressive while men are called assertive?

During a recent group discussion of women in tech I led, we discussed the issue of women being labeled as "aggressive" by their managers when they are simply being assertive. This is a common occurrence in the workplace, and it's essential to understand the reasons behind it and ways to address it.

Why are women labeled as aggressive while men are referred to as assertive?

Stereotypes and Gender Norms:

For ages, society has been holding on to traditional gender stereotypes that associate women with qualities such as nurturing, empathy, and gentleness. Meanwhile, men are expected to exhibit characteristics like assertiveness, confidence, and decisiveness.?

However, when women display assertive behaviors that challenge these norms, they may be perceived as deviating from their expected roles, leading to being labeled as "aggressive."

Double Standards:

Gender double standards exist in society when it comes to evaluating the same behavior from men and women. An act that may be viewed as assertive in a man can be perceived as aggressive in a woman. This is because of preconceived notions about how men and women are expected to behave. Aggression is usually seen as a masculine trait, and it is more acceptable for men to be aggressive than for women.

Unconscious Bias:

Unconscious biases are stereotypes and prejudices that are deeply ingrained in us. They can impact how we perceive and interact with others without realizing it. These biases can lead us to perceive assertive behavior differently depending on the gender of the person exhibiting it.

Communication Styles:

Misunderstandings can arise between men and women due to differences in their communication styles. Women generally use more collaborative language, whereas men use more direct or authoritative language. These communication style variations can affect how assertiveness or aggression is perceived.

Leadership Stereotypes:

Leadership roles have traditionally been associated with assertive qualities. However, when women display assertiveness in pursuit of leadership positions, they may be met with resistance or even be judged as aggressive due to societal expectations of what a leader should look like.

Fear of Backlash:

Women who are afraid of being labeled as aggressive may avoid asserting themselves, which can negatively impact their professional development. This fear of receiving backlash can create a vicious cycle that hinders their growth.?

One major problem that exacerbates this issue is the underrepresentation of women in leadership roles across various industries. This lack of representation further reinforces the stereotype that leadership and assertiveness are male traits. Even when women achieve leadership positions, their behavior is scrutinized more closely than their male counterparts.

The organizational culture and policies also play a crucial role in perpetuating or challenging these biases. A workplace that values diversity, equity, and inclusion is more likely to address and mitigate these issues more effectively.

What can women do about it?

There are certain actions that women can take to prevent being labeled as aggressive.

Self-awareness:?

It is crucial to acknowledge the significance of assertiveness in your career and not refrain from it. Accepting and utilizing your capability to be precise, straightforward, and confident in expressing your thoughts and opinions is essential. However, when you assert yourself, you must be mindful of your tone and body language. Avoid using aggressive language or body language, such as raising your voice or pointing your finger.

Show confidence and do not apologize:?

It's essential to be confident in asserting yourself. Don't apologize or back down when challenged. Remember that your voice deserves to be heard.

Build relationships with peers and stakeholders in your organization:?

Establishing strong relationships with your colleagues and your manager is crucial. When others know and trust you, they are less likely to perceive your assertiveness as aggressive or confrontational.

Instead of being confrontational, aim to be a collaborator and problem-solver. Focus on sharpening your communication skills so that your assertiveness is perceived as constructive and aimed at solving problems rather than creating conflicts.

Build a support system:?

Get guidance and support from mentors, coaches, sponsors, and allies to navigate challenges.

What can managers do to avoid it?

One way managers can contribute to reducing the likelihood of women being labeled as aggressive is by actively taking steps to prevent it. This could involve creating a more inclusive and respectful workplace culture and providing training and resources to help employees communicate effectively and respectfully with one another.

Bias awareness:?

Managers must recognize their personal biases and prejudices while assessing employee performance. This awareness can aid them in treating all employees impartially. It is also necessary to acknowledge the distinct societal expectations for men and women. While evaluating employee performance, managers must be cautious not to allow these expectations to impact their judgment.

Collaborative working culture:?

It is crucial to establish a work environment where everyone feels comfortable expressing themselves. Encourage employees to share their ideas and opinions, and don't hesitate to challenge the status quo.

Training and education:?

Invest in diversity and inclusion training to promote a more equitable workplace.

Constructive feedback:?

When providing feedback, it is important to focus on specific behaviors rather than generalizing and labeling someone "aggressive." Instead, address the specific behavior that raised concerns.

The utilization of the SBI feedback model can assist you in delivering feedback that is impartial and free from biases.

Organizational Change:

To effect positive change, organizations play a crucial role by taking necessary steps. One such step is contributing to this change.

Implementing clear guidelines:?

It is crucial to establish and communicate clear guidelines for assertive and professional behavior within the organization.

Diverse leadership:?

Promote women into leadership roles as role models to challenge stereotypes.

Support networks:?

Encourage the creation of mentorship programs and support networks to empower women in tech.

Maintaining equal standards for both men and women in the workplace is crucial. Do not judge an employee who is assertive as aggressive. Instead, evaluate their conduct and ascertain whether it is professional and respectful.

Conclusion:

It can be extremely demoralizing for women in the workplace to be labeled as aggressive. Such labeling can make them feel like their opinions and voices are not being heard or valued. However, by being aware of this issue and addressing it head-on, we can work towards a more diverse, inclusive, and equitable tech industry. Women should be celebrated for their assertiveness and leadership qualities rather than being stigmatized with negative labels. It's high time to break these stereotypes and create a fair and level playing field for everyone in the tech industry.

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