Why are women always taking a step back? a question that goes beyond International women’s day
When I have started writing this article, I didn’t have in mind the International Women Day, celebrated on 8th?March simply because it was still some weeks apart (yes sometimes it also takes times to write and filter my ideas) and also because I believe women are to be celebrated and recognised every day, as it should be also for men and life in general.?
Initially, I have started in mind with a conversation that I had with a highly qualified woman that despite her talent and competences, is still out of employment and still struggles to meeting society’s demands, family demands and her own demands on how she sees herself fulfilling her mother role and also her role as woman in society, but also as a professional.
The question on why women are always taking a step back was inspired by my partner that found this very disturbing that women still tend to give in to the tension raised by society norms and what is expected from them (and often at an unconscious level).?
It is also inspired by an article I have read in a Luxembourgish publication, where a woman in a high leadership position stated that women could also benefit from men mentorship and not just seeking coaching and mentoring from other women.?
So this made my research even more interesting, especially since I am on a journey to answer for myself the question:
how I want to support women and how can I advocate to have more men supporting women, because the purpose is the one of inclusion and cooperation between genders and not separation.??
That is why in my coaching practice, I support women by also coaching men, because it’s only through raising awareness for both genders that we can reach the point of equality and equity.?
So why are women always taking a step back in their careers? And what may be the circumstances when they do so and why? And how is this impacting them, the society, and the economy??
The answer is complex but some research puts the following ideas into perspective:?
Women are leaving the top ranks of companies at higher rates than ever before — as?female employees remain less likely to get promoted into leadership roles in the first place.
For every woman at the director level who gets promoted, two?female directors are choosing to leave their company, according to a new?McKinsey & Co. and LeanIn.org report.?
“Women are just as ambitious as men, but they are leaving their companies at the highest rates we’ve ever seen and at higher rates than men in leadership,” LeanIn CEO Rachel Thomas.
In 2020, a quarter of women in senior leadership roles McKinsey surveyed said they wanted to leave the workforce or downshift their careers. By 2021, that had risen to one-third.
McKinsey & Company recently said ?it found?that "compared with men, senior women leaders report higher rates of burnout, chronic stress, and exhaustion."
“Women are?not breaking up with work,?they are breaking up with companies who are not delivering the work culture and the opportunity and the flexibility that's so critically important to them”?LeanIn CEO Rachel Thomas
“What holds women back at work is not some unique challenge of balancing the demands of work and family but rather a general problem of overwork that prevails in contemporary corporate culture.
Women and men alike suffer as a result. But women pay higher professional costs.?If we want to solve this problem, we must reconsider what we’re willing to allow the workplace to demand of all employees. Such a reconsideration is possible.?As individual families and employees push back against overwork, they will pave the way for others to follow.?“
Women seem to be pressured to always choose between professional life or being mothers. But when they want both, most of the times, they will get criticized from failing in one domain or the other.?
“When faced with the long-hours problem, they find themselves on the horns of a dilemma: If they respond to the pull of family by taking accommodations, they undermine their status at work, but if they refuse accommodations in favor of their professional ambitions, they undermine their status as good mothers. Thus, they are positioned to be seen as subpar performers or subpar mothers—or both.?This dilemma leaves the culture of overwork intact, allows firms to deflect responsibility for women’s stalled advancement, and locks gender inequality in place.?Women are the ones who have a work/family problem to sort out, the story goes, and that’s just the way it is.”
The fact is that unconscious biases and perpetuating old mindset about what it means to be committed at work, impacts dramatically women. According to CNBC and SurveyMonkey data, 34% of women with children under 18 say they are “very concerned” that taking advantage of flexible work arrangements might prevent them from achieving their goals.
Emerging research points to why the idea that women’s potential is judged differently to men’s rang true for so many women. A new study has shown women are consistently judged as having less leadership potential than their male counterparts, making them 14% less likely to be promoted each year.
“Ingrained societal attitudes have led to women being more tentative when applying for roles,” says Suki Sandhu, a UK-based diversity specialist and CEO of diversity and inclusion consultancies Audeliss and INvolve. “They are more likely to be self-deprecating and cite where they don’t have skills, instead of highlighting where they do. They also tend to worry more about being asked to present proof of their abilities, whilst their male counterparts are more confident in this.”
The proof-versus-potential problem doesn’t just show up in the traditional workplace. Zoe Chance, an assistant professor at Yale School of Management, points to politics as an example of how women’s potential is so often overlooked. While it’s common to see comparatively young male candidates in the running, female candidates tend to enter politics later in life. Chance says this is because women spend years building up experience, accomplishments and recognition before they consider themselves – and are considered to be – credible candidates.
“Women feel forced to compete on their record, whilst men can compete on their vision“?– Zoe Chance
Women?face bias when they're leaders . They face?unique stereotypes , have more?at-home responsibilities , and are often asked to do?unrecognized work on the job , like planning volunteer events or taking notes.
The consequences of women “stepping back” – or being pushed back
Today, for every 100 men promoted and hired to a manager position, only 72 women are promoted and hired for the same role, reported Lean In and McKinsey & Company in a 2019 “Women in the Workplace ” study.?
For women of color, this figure is even lower, with just 68 Latina women and 58 black women being promoted to manager for every 100 entry-level men who are promoted to the same job.?
The gender pay gap – the difference between the earnings of men and women – has barely closed in the United States in the past two decades. In 2022, American women typically earned?82 cents for every dollar earned by men. That was about the same as in 2002, when they earned 80 cents to the dollar. The slow pace at which the gender pay gap has narrowed this century contrasts sharply with the progress in the preceding two decades: In 1982, women earned just 65 cents to each dollar earned by men.
Parenthood affects the hourly earnings of employed women and men in unexpected ways. While employed mothers overall appear to earn less than employed women without children at home, the gap is driven mainly by differences in educational attainment between the two groups. Among women with similar levels of education, there is little gap in the earnings of mothers and non-mothers. However, fathers earn more than other workers, including other men without children at home, regardless of education level. This phenomenon – known as the?fatherhood wage premium ?– is one of the main ways that parenthood affects the gender pay gap among employed workers.
What if women would start to have the mindset of a Queen??
It was a curiosity of mine to understand how come, that in a male dominated world, women were allowed to accede to the throne. And have successful and long-lived reigns, take Queen Elisabeth II with the longest reign of 7 decades.?
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The queen ascended the throne as a young woman in a male-dominated era and was not born in the circumstances that would make her even consider one day to become Queen. However, her journey started as for many other women, she was being but not heard. There is a great example given in the series “The Crown”, where Elisabeth had to confront Churchill on hiding from her his health situation. I believe the golden beam in this situation is that Elisabeth didn’t consider herself as a victim, didn’t blame people that they were blinded by gender biases, but raised everyone to the standard demanded by a leader, in this instance by the Queen:?
"I would ask you to consider your response in light of the respect that my rank and my office deserve, not that which my age and gender might suggest," says Elizabeth.
It is not by mistake that Elisabeth II had the longest reign.?
Even if in?male-dominated societies Queens and Empresses?were easily accepted?as rulers?because?a?female monarch was viewed as a divine being and if there was no male monarch, it was because God wished it so, doesn’t mean women didn’t face challenges.?
Queen Elizabeth I had to fight gender norms to stay in her position and portrayed a good masculine persona.
During the war against the Spanish Armada, Queen Elizabeth famously said,?“I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble woman, but I have the heart and?stomach?of a king, and?that of?a king of England too.”
Obviously, a male heir would always be chosen as a monarch but if none were available, then the throne would go to the woman and the men in power would accept it.
Why am I giving this example? It’s because sometimes women tend to get demoralized by pressure and society norms, easily forgetting what they are fighting for or surrendering to consensus and acceptance. And this comes with huge costs for women.?
The question goes beyond economic benefits of having more women in leadership positions, or empowering women. It is about respecting equally men and women contributions to society and remunerate it accordingly.?
What is the solution to not just celebrate women, but also recognize them and pay them fairly?
Women don’t have to fake it, ‘till they make it. But have to be empowered, supported, mentored, coached to lead from their authentic self, not copying male behaviours that mimic success.?
Here is more data supporting this:?
“Women are more qualified than men, outnumbering and outperforming them in college. This is a big reversal from the 1960’s, and points to the higher qualifications and better hard skills women bring to the table. This means that instead of encouraging women to emulate men (e.g., telling them to?fake confidence , or?apply for jobs ?even if they are not qualified enough), the best way to increase female representation in leadership roles is to select leaders on?competence . Equally, if we selected leaders on the basis of their humility, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, self-control, and integrity - and filtered out leaders with high psychopathy,?narcissism , and Machiavellianism scores - we would end up not just with better leaders, but also more female than male leaders.”
Women have been proven to hold a key advantage in soft skills--a?study ?by global consulting firm Hay Group found that women outperform men in 11 of 12 key emotional intelligence competencies. According to Richard E. Boyatzis, Ph.D, one of the study's developers and co-owners, "...?If more men acted like women in employing their emotional and social competencies, they would be substantially and distinctly more effective in their work."
In my personal view, the leadership crisis that doesn’t seem to accommodate women as well, is reflected in the overall crisis that companies experience today. Employees often call that they feel that there is not sufficient trust, flexibility, and empathy from leadership, which are exactly skills that are demonstrated more often by women rather than men.?
Incapacity to progress on sustainable development points, implementing successful ESG policies, driving the progress and growth on a sustainable and inclusive path, one that nurtures the society, the environment, that creates legacy for future generations, is reflected in the leadership gap where women are absent. Not by their wish, but by how the current system is creating barriers for them, systemic barriers that affect not only women, but society as a whole.?
Women must be recognised for who they are, before any economic justification that they contribute to the GDP growth, or that companies with women in leadership are more profitable. Women and any human in general, don’t derive their value as a person based on the GDP impact of their work.?
Women may access leadership positions by speaking a male accepted language that involves economic justification and profit before anything else, but they will be thriving and create room for other women, when they will learn to lead from their authentic self, non-apologetically, confident on their value and their role in the balance of society, leaning in on their emotional intelligence and capacity to see things beyond numbers and profits.??
And empowering women to be themselves will also create breathing space for men to bring to surface silent agreements on what being a man is, that creates also great toxicity in workplaces and beyond.?
Celebrating International Women Day is a nice gesture in a male dominated world, but the true celebration of women and of what they represent is by acknowledging their presence, listening to them, respecting them and pay them for their value creation and contribution, support them and upheld them at the queen rank, going beyond gender biases and old society norms.?
I would love to know your comments or reflections on reading this article and what resonated with you most.
If you want to share your experience as being a women that faced one of these biases or barriers or your story of success you can always write and I would be pleased to have a conversation with you.
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Sources:
https://www.quora.com/Why-were-queens-allowed-to-rule-in-a-male-dominated-society-throughout-history