Why Womanship?

We asked women to tell us why they connect with Womanship and what it means to them. Robyn Abrahams, also known as Lexsitra, is an African writer, born and bred in the rainbow nation. She has a passion for storytelling second only to her mother's food, and the Norwegian siren Aurora Aksnes.?

Womanship is a concept that has always existed but never been personified until now. It lived without a definitive label in my head throughout my entire life.

Until now…

In the last three years, more so than ever before in my life, I have been forced to confront what it truly means to be a woman.? I am very aware of the inherent strength of a woman. It is visible in how she constantly strives in every aspect of her life. However, it is never more present than in her relationships!

In the context of my life, I have met many women with a wide array of diverse aspirations, life obstacles and limitations (whether self-imposed or externally inflicted on them).? Despite it all, one thing remains constant.? In our ever-individualistic world, a woman is rarely ever one thing.? While men are given a free pass to be lone wolves, women are always somehow connected to ‘the pack’.

She is a mother, a daughter, a friend, an aunt… Wherever she walks, she carries the hopes of every woman along with her. That was true of my mother, of her mother, her sisters and mine.? It is also now true of my friends, as well as myself.? We never walk by ourselves alone. We walk because other women walked before us, and because we are paving the road ahead for women who are yet to take their first steps towards themselves.?

So here is where I now unzip my inhibitions and lay my life out before your feet.

My life can be sliced into two distinct parts: “denying that I am a girl” and “fighting to become the woman I wish to be”.

The first half saw me deny womanhood and my own femininity at every turn.? Whatever “a proper little lady” was supposed to do, was instantly pushed to the bottom of my to-do list in exchange for preserving my Tom-Boy status. I played sports stereotypically designated for boys. I wore clothing suited more for climbing trees than attending ‘tea parties’.??

Then the rainbow community came knocking at my door, and chasing girls became another facet of my identity that severed my connection to my perception of femininity. The prevailing hope is that menstruation and all the other assets attached to puberty would alleviate the aversion to my own gender. Those hopes were swiftly snuffed out when I treated my period less like a rite of passage, and more like a battle wound, that I’d have “to get through” instead of “appreciate” as a joyous part of being a woman.

In a twist of irony, my eureka moment came to me during my first relationship with another woman. She was my first love.? We spent almost 2 years glorious years together, and the experience tore all of my misconceptions apart.

For the first time in my life, I was confronted with my femininity through another’s eyes … and I felt beautiful. She loved my curves, my long hair, my dainty hands, and the curve of my eyebrow arch.? She loved how empathetic and compassionate I could be.? She admired my maternal instincts towards my younger sister, and hers.? She praised my softness and my human-centric mindset.??

The list of things she adored about me slowly became my favourite things about myself.? It took a little while to realise that everything she listed as reasons for loving me comprised that exact list of things I had fought my entire life to change. She had unknowingly made me viscerally aware of the worth of my WOMANSHIP.? I started to see the world, and myself, in an entirely new light.

That is not to say that I changed any aspect of myself to fit into her idea of what my femininity ought to be. I did, however, take extra care to appreciate those aspects of myself. It should have been a straightforward process, but that was not the case. In order to accept myself as a woman, I needed to acknowledge what that meant.? I required a new rubric to evaluate my self-worth as both as a woman and as a person.

I had to accept that I would never be the son my father desperately wanted and I tried too hard to be.

I had to acknowledge that it was okay my interests did not perfectly align with that of my male cousins compared to that of my female cousins.

I started to appreciate that I saw humans before I acknowledged the tools or vehicles they owned.

Most importantly, I had to accept that my body was not a burden but a miracle.? I possess the ability to create life, conquer every obstacle in my way and utilise my full potential to be the best version of myself.? I strive to be the best daughter to my mother, the best sister to my sister, the best friend to my best friends and one day to be a wonderful wife to my wife.

There is value in being a woman that cannot be eclipsed by those of men. These are attributes unique to us as women. These are the qualities that are integral to our world functionally and flourishing as a whole. We form the heart of society and, despite centuries of being overlooked, constantly provide a level headed approach to cooperation and mediation. These are the pillars of our contemporary globalised world. Without the efforts of women, our society might never have been realised.?

My connection to Womanship is paralleled in my connection to my womanhood.? It is not a burden but a blessing. It is not a challenge but an opportunity to explore the value of myself and my intrinsic strength as a woman.?

In essence, this is what Womanship means to me!

#womanship #RobynAbrahams