The Why, The What and The How

Introduction

In recent coaching conversations with several of my clients, I have reverted to a little structure that seems to have been helpful. I’m sharing it here in the hope that it might be useful to a wider audience. (If you would like to discuss further, please reach out!)

The Why

People often want to jump in with the what. The big question in a lot of minds is ‘What should I do with my life?’ I personally believe it’s more important to pin down the why first. The what will then come more naturally. ?

An exercise you can do to help thinking in this area is a ‘rich drawing’. (I learned this from Bob Thomson’s book How to Coach.) Grab a piece of paper and a pen and draw what you want your life to look like in 5 years’ time. Then, once you have done this, you can work it through with a coach or ask yourself these questions:

1.?????? What did I draw first? (This might speak to your priorities.)

2.?????? What did I spend the most time drawing? (This might highlight what is most important to you.)

3.?????? What did I include as an afterthought? (Frequently what we think is the most important thing is not actually the most important.)

4.?????? Now that you have had some thinking time, how would you describe this to another person? What does it tell you about your motivations; the why you show up for work in the morning? You can write this as a motivation statement: ‘I want to do x in order to achieve y through z.’

5.?????? Lastly, what options does this open up for me?

For this last question, now that you have a clear idea of what you might really want, you can start to move on to the next stage. What could you do?

The What

Having a clear why will reduce the options of what you can do. The why becomes like a purpose or vision statement – once your motivations are clear, you can filter your decisions through the lens of whether something aligns with your why or not.

The sky really is the limit. If you’re still not sure what the options are (or even if you have too much choice – you know who you are, you multi-skilled experts!), ask yourself, ‘If there were no limitations whatsoever – time, money, geography, etc. – what would I want to be doing?’ Put another way, ‘On a future morning, I am jumping out of bed, motivated, driven. What am I getting up to do?’

What is giving you that (potential future) motivation? It ties in to the why, but discovering the what can be a fun experiment to do, either with yourself or possibly with another/others (coach, partner, friend, family member, etc.). A fun action to take is to ask 3 people who know you well in different contexts to describe you at your best: What are you doing? You may be surprised by what other people say.

The How

After you have a clear(er) articulation of your why and are starting to feel towards what your objective – the what – might be, you can start to work on the how. To quote Stephen Covey (The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People), I suggest you ‘Start with the end in mind’. Once you have a clear(ish) idea of where you are headed, it is easier to set a direction. You then want to put the stepping stones in place that’ll lead you there.

How might you go about doing that? Here are some suggestions:

1.?????? Plan. ‘Fortune favours the prepared’, we are told. Even though a large number of opportunities come about through serendipity, I think I might not be alone in saying that they are more likely to come if we are ready and waiting. Keep an open eye and an open mind: you never know what might be around the corner.

2.?????? Research. ChatGPT is really helpful. If you have an idea of the sorts of things you want to be doing but aren’t sure how that fits into a job title, for example, ask it to provide some prompts. I did this with a client once and the AI suggested some specialist options that I had never heard of. (Obviously, approach with caution. AI can be wrong, too – perhaps that is one of its most human features.)

3.?????? Actionate. (I know, that’s not a word. I like the sound of it, though.) Now that you have a clear articulation of your why, you have some ideas of your what and you have a well-informed plan, get cracking!

Conclusion

There is no substitute, I think, to talking things through with another person. If you aren’t in a position to afford (or invest time in) coaching, though, I hope this article helps. Feel free to get in touch!