Why we're wired to be sales-adverse

Many small business owners are so adverse about doing sales that they become literally sales-phobic. So, why is this, given that we all make a living selling something to someone? This inherent dislike of sales can, to large extent, be linked back to how we evolved as social animals.

Back in the stone age - it was essential for us humans to commune together for shelter, safety and food. Our fundamental need for survival i.e. safety in numbers therefore meant that we relied on the company of a group. If we fell out with that group and ended up marginalised - then our chances of survival diminished.

It was therefore imperative that we kept favour with our group, inorder to avoid doing anything that might result in our rejection. This evolved innate anxiety around social rejection, is now what typically drives most people's fear of sales.

We simply don't like experiencing rejection but asking for the sale risks the chances of rejection i.e. when someone says no to our proposal! This is what's at the core of most people's dislike of selling - even though a customer is typically just rejecting our offer rather than us personally.

If the customer says no rudely or abruptly then many sellers will take this personally too and internalise that rejection. They will then avoid wanting to revisit these feelings of internalised rejection, by not asking for the sale in the first place.

In reality, most times getting a 'no' really isn't personal. Maybe the customer is having a bad day e.g. they're feeling under the weather, they're stressed out, they've just broken up with their significant other or maybe their pet has died etc.

Getting a 'no' might also mean it's just not the right time for them to buy or that they simply haven't fully understood how your product or service would help them meet their needs or wants. Digging a little deeper after a 'no' can also often turn that 'no' into a 'yes' - once you understand what's behind that 'no'.

No' is therefore part of the sales education process and helps us improve our chances of getting a 'yes' on another occasion. If you are able to appreciate that getting a 'no' isn't personal and maintain a neutral perspective during the sales interaction, it can significantly mitigate your ultimate selling fears.

A shift on mindset can ultimately help us reframe our inherent dislike of sales, to see it for it really is. Sales (if done ethically and professionally) is a force for good because you're helping someone meet what is often a pressing need or want.

Someone coined the phrase some time back that 'helping is the new selling' but for me selling has always been about helping others. So, next time you're in front of a customer - think 'how can I help you' rather than 'how much can I sell you'.

Happy selling.

PS. DM me about my 'Sales for people who don't do sales' half day workshop, if you need some further help with your sales-phobia.