Why we struggle to say no

Ever found yourself saying yes to something you didn’t want to do, just to ‘be nice’ or ‘keep a relationship intact’? You’re not alone.

Tony Blair puts it neatly: “The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.”

In business, the pressure to agree—to unpaid ‘opportunities,’ last-minute demands, and sponsorship requests—can be relentless. But every unnecessary yes comes at a cost.

Saying no is uncomfortable. We worry about damaging relationships, missing out on future work, or being seen as difficult. But agreeing to everything—sponsorship requests, unpaid ‘opportunities,’ last-minute demands—comes at a price.

There’s a deep-rooted fear in business that saying no will close doors. Whether it’s a client asking for ‘just one more little thing’ outside the agreed scope, a contact asking for free advice, or a polite but obvious “you are a supplier therefore we expect a contribution” email, the pressure to agree is real. The problem? Every unnecessary yes eats away at your time, energy, and bottom line.

One of the biggest pressures business owners face is being asked to sponsor events, donate to causes, or ‘support’ a client’s charity of the year. It’s an awkward request because saying no feels personal, especially if it comes from a client you want to keep happy. But here’s the reality: if your business relationship is dependent on financial contributions, then it’s not a healthy one.

If a client values your work, they shouldn’t expect you to pay for the privilege of working with them. In fact, being repeatedly asked for money or favours should be a red flag—an indicator that it might be time to look elsewhere for business. The best clients are those who respect your boundaries and value what you bring to the table, not just what you can give for free.

Saying no isn’t about being difficult—it’s about protecting your business, your time, and your sanity. The strongest business relationships are built on mutual respect, not guilt or obligation. If a client or contact can’t respect a polite and professional no, then maybe they’re not the right fit for you anyway.